Men who falsely accuse women of rape

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Hi, I am very sorry if this is not the right forum for this, but I've been interested for the last few days about men who falsely accuse women of rape. Someone I know recently told me that there is an alarming number of women who lose custody of their kids because their ex-husbands and ex-boyfriends falsely accused them of sexual violence. I cannot find any breakdown of who falsely accuses who, so I am going by the statistics that in both the USA and Britain that false rape accusations make up 2-5% of total accusations for any gender against any gender. She hasn't provided a source on men who falsely accuse women. I also remember reading from Karen Ingala Smith that men have a tendency to overestimate the violence they sustain and underestimate their contribution to the violence. Is what this person saying really true? Is there an epidemic of men falsely accusing women of sexual violence in an attempt to abuse the family court system?

By the way, I'm not an MRA. Tackling sexual violence against men is something that means a lot to me, because I was part of a student group who provided services to survivors of rape and sexual abuse in my university. Although I have not done this since graduating, I have been focused on advocating for better services for men sustaining abuse and rape, and I have donated to 1in6 before. These recent comments were very upsetting and I wanted to get a better sense of why she might have made them. Am I being unreasonable for doubting the veracity of her claims?

I am more concerned with the trend of men claiming they have been falsely accused of rape and the press and coverage this has received - terrible if it happens, but the coverage of it is totally disproportionate and harms female victims in their cases. As does the defence of consensual rough sex.

@Hont1986 but the correct definition does matter in this instance because the op could read either as a) men who have sex with women against their will/without consent or b) men who are penetrated using an object against their will.

Obviously both scenarios are awful but if a woman claims she had consensual piv sex with a man who later claims it was non consensual, that's a completely different case legally and evidence-wise o a man who reports that he was drugged and subjected to unlawful penetration by a woman.

Correct terminology is important for clarity and understanding I think.

I can't vote because I am not even sure what the question is.

100%.

That post was in response to Bixs; quote fail.

Of course sexual abuse, whatever form it take, against anyone is wrong.

I agree.

This is similar to domestic violence.

Many, many males are victims of domestic violence but it’s a very small number compared to how many female victims there are.

So of course women sexually assault men and of course some men will lie they’ve been assaulted when they haven’t.

Do we need to be concerned about men falsely accusing women of sexual violence, like we do about men falsely accusing women of domestic violence, in an attempt to take custody/mask abusive behavior?

Yes. My ex accused me of domestic violence, pretended to anyone who would listen that he was scared of me, and told a selective few that I had raped him. All lies. Fortunately my ex’s behaviour towards me was shite and he wasn’t clever enough to use it in court (not least because of the photos I had of the bruises he had left on me) so with the exception of his best friend it quickly became clear no one believed him. He did attempt to remove the children from me using the courts but was so up his own backside with his self importance and how everyone in the world saw me as he saw me, he was never able to put together a consistent case. He lies so much he will literally argue the opposite of something he as saying was true 10 minutes ago if he thinks there’s something advantageous in it for him.

Men like this are dangerous. Sadly, people rarely believe it so I tend to play down what happened to me. I have lost count of the number of times I have tried to discuss it and been told ‘no smoke without fire’. No smoke. No fire. We had a very average marriage up to the point he met someone else and had no more use for me. Unfortunately being a man who dumps his pregnant wife and toddlers wasn’t the kind of man he wanted to be so he made up something that justified his behaviour.

I experienced similar @Watchingbehindmyhands

@CandyLeBonBon. Very sorry to hear that. I hope you are doing OK. I am glad the man is out of my life and I’ve learnt how to manage things. He didn’t count on my strength, the support I had and my determination. Take good care x

@Hont1986

Everyone uses the everyday, globally understood definition of rape all the time (forced sex) right up until this topic appears, when suddenly it's very important that we all need to be using the definition under English and Welsh law only. Curious.

Everyone what? When I talk about rape I understand that it is very specifically an act committed with a penis.

@SunsetSenora

I am more concerned with the trend of men claiming they have been falsely accused of rape and the press and coverage this has received - terrible if it happens, but the coverage of it is totally disproportionate and harms female victims in their cases. As does the defence of consensual rough sex.

Absolutely! Very well said 👏

I work with children and families, sexual violence by women against men has not been in factor in my experience. In keeping with the experience of a few others on this thread.

[quote Watchingbehindmyhands]@CandyLeBonBon. Very sorry to hear that. I hope you are doing OK. I am glad the man is out of my life and I’ve learnt how to manage things. He didn’t count on my strength, the support I had and my determination. Take good care x[/quote]
Absolutely. Life is much better without. Mine did everything he could to intimidate me into backing down and I refused. He nearly self combusted with fury!

Well done for getting through to the other side!

I thought there was also oral and digital rape

In the US there is talk of ‘forced to penetrate’ which has a bit of a push behind it to be used as rape.

I think if a school teacher/someone in a position of power has sex with a child it should be tried as rape - whether the child is male or female
I also believe rape and serious sexual assault of men and boys is downplayed

Bored tonight OP?

Why do I feel like this is written by someone who thinks women on a mum-based site are thick?

Lol, this is clearly someone trying to reveal 'double standards'. Take it to FWR, they might take the bait over there

No they won't

Huh?

'
Yesterday 21:13Hont1986

Everyone uses the everyday, globally understood definition of rape all the time (forced sex) right up until this topic appears, when suddenly it's very important that we all need to be using the definition under English and Welsh law only. Curious.'

Not curious at all.

In England and Wales the crime of rape is non consensual penetration with a penis.

The crimes against penetration with an object etc carry the same penalties. It's not a lesser crime, just a different definition.

Here where I live rape means a cock. The law agrees.

Apologies for not ignoring that to abide by ??? laws elsewhere...???

I speak from zero stats

But given my life experience etc

I am pretty comfortable making a guess that. Serious sexual assault of men by women is... Not super prevalent.

Other types of abuse, verbal etc. Violence. Yeah. Happens. Rape? Serious sexual assault?

Erm no. That stuff is men's remit. Soz.

You need to do some in depth research into your 2.5% of both genders statistic. Some critical thinking.

2.5% of the the thousands of woman who make acquisitions of rape against men makes for a lot of 'false' acquisitions. But remember that included in those 'false' accusation figures will be where the courts decided not guilty (not actually the same as being not guilty) and probably where the acquisition has been withdrawn because of lack of evidence, women's fear of having to stand up in court and not believed, intimidation etc etc.

2.5% of the far smaller figure of males making acquisitions (those that include men accusing men or just women?) will be a very small number. And also include all of the factors above.

The percentages maybe the same, the actual numbers are vastly different! And who decided on those percentages? What was their agenda? How do you prove an acquisition is false - we know the dismal prosecution success rate for rape! Is every unsuccessful prosecution a real false acquisition? Every withdrawal?

@Nomnomarrgh
Oh ffs give over with the not very subtle implication that transwomen are a load of wannabe rapists.

@Thingsdogetbetter it is absolutely not true that 2.5% false accusation statistic includes not guilty verdicts.

@toconclude of course transwomen aren't all rapists. However there is an uplift in the numbers of women committing rape in England and Wales. As it's been pointed out, the crime of rape requires a penis.

Women can be convicted of rape as a joint venture with a man but only one woman in the UK has. Therefore that uplift can only be caused by transwomen. This gives MRAs the right to say "look women rape too" when statistically it's just not true. It means that people who commit crimes against women with a penis are locked up with the very people they offend against.

@BilboBercow can you show me the uplift in the number of women committing rape in England and Wales?