I am what some would call as “woke” as it gets. I am a lefty millennial.
However I am also a scientist by training.
I agree that JKR is being unfairly demonised.
The whole trans debate is a massive philosophical rabbit hole (ontology, anyone?)
We have physical realities and social realities. Yes, you can question physical realities and bring up quantum theory if you want to, but pragmatically speaking, a banana is a banana.
There may well be people out there who are writing phds questioning the banana-ness of bananas and arguing that because one banana in every million is orange and sometimes they are short or fat ot wiggly or straight, then we can’t define a banana as a long curved yellow fruit, and that there is therefore no reason why a satsuma could not also, theoretically, be called a banana. Their arguments would probably have philosophical merit, but in the end we must be pragmatic and defining fruits and veg by their colour shape and taste is the way we have collectively organised our reality. There are always going to be exceptions, and our categorisations are admittedly imperfect, but we need them to get by and function.
Now I realise the comparison is crass and no doubt some people will be offended by it, but really the principle is the same for people (and most living creatures in fact. The exceptions tend to prove the rule). Males have penises/sperm and females have vaginas/eggs. Man is a word for a human male, and woman is a word for a hunan female.
There are always exceptions: I know that intersex people exist.
And I know that people with gender dysphoria / trans people exist.
Their experiences are difficult, real and valid.
Looking specifically at trans people, do I think they should have the right to use whatever name and pronouns they wish? Yes. Do I think they should be able to dress and live as they wish? Yes. Do I think society should make a conscious effort to be as inclusive as possible, respect their individual experience and celebrate the vastness of human diversity? Yes, absolutely!!
Do I think that their existence means that we must redefine what it means to be a man or a woman? No.
Do I think that anyone who is against redefining what it means to be a woman, is a bigot? No!!