To ask what you wish you could say to a horrible employer on your last day?

[MaMaD1990]

Inspired by another thread. If it didn't burn bridges, what do you wish you said to horrible boss/colleagues on your last day? Lighthearted! I used to fantasise drop kicking my old manager on my way out the door.

I wanted to tell them what a bunch of two faced, back stabbing, lying, self serving, useless fuckers they are. In reality I wished them all the best in the future and I was just glad that I finally saw them for what they were. It has made me weary for future colleagues but I have an interview coming up that would be a massive step up, a lot more money and will stick in their throats if I get the job. I will have the last laugh I hope.

My colleague did my favourite in his leaving speech..." Of all the jobs I have ever had....this has been one of them"

I've told the truth in my exit interviews.

Who cares if it burns bridges?

I always wanted to go full on Bridget Jones and say I'd rather have a job wiping Saddam Hussein's arse than work within 20' of the person, but am not brave enough.

Today's boss is tomorrow's referee. I'd leave it.

@FuzzyPuffling this is brilliant. I'll have to bank that!

@VienneseWhirligig I wish I were brave enough to make a statement like this too...

You only promote people who have their head up your arse, and I’m not sure you really care about the people you claim to care for unless they are from the “right” background

@ramblingsonthego well done you - success is the best form of revenge!

I told my last boss to go & fuck himself.

Turns out the boss of the next job I applied for knew old boss personally, saw the company name on my CV and called for a reference.

Got the job, even after my current boss was told about the fuck himself comment, 9 years later I’m a senior member of management. Turns out my boss knew, but didn’t like old boss and completely understood the comment

It's not ok to spend every team meeting talking about how important wellbeing is and then reduce your staff (who you know are struggling with WFH and home learning) to tears by criticising their work in a very aggressive way repeating numerous times 'I'm really not happy'.

The closest I've ever come to saying anything is when an old primary school headteacher was retiring and they had a card passed around the middle school for old students to sign and wish her well. I signed it saying "you were the worst headteacher and I'm pleased you're leaving". I made sure I was last to sign and had the responsibility of sealing the envelope....haha, still makes me laugh now. Wish I could've seen the face on the old bat when she read that! Childish, yes. But made me feel a lot better!

I had an exit interview when I left a job purely because i couldn't bear to work in the office anymore because of my lazy racist insensitive boss( she was the care coordinator for an agency, completely the wrong person for the job on every level). As the woman doing the exit interview was a great friend of hers I knew there was no point raising my concerns there. Wrote everything down and sent it to head office instead, and heard a few months later that when the company was bought out everyone but her was taken straight over by the new company. She was invited to apply for her position, and she didn't get the job. Very satisfying and I felt I'd done the right thing in one sense, but screwed myself because I did need a reference from them.

Basically you are a twat, I know, the rest of your team knows. You keep your job because we are so good at ours.

See you at the Tribunal, melonfarmers.

I left a job and posted a complaint to the top boss the moment I left

You're a patronising twat who failed to lead everyone and managed to alienate an entire team and drive them to resign within months of you arriving. You simper around the office in stupid wedding shoes and make a mockery of feminism, because you are actually pretty intelligent but love to act coy and feeble to our male bosses.

I know of someone who sent an email round on their last day, thanking everyone and saying how great it had been. If you looked at the first letter of every word, though, it spelled out something like "Fuck you Sam" or whatever the boss's name was.

I always regretted not giving one vile boss what for. However, he's still there 18 years later and I'm not so that's good enough for me.

You need to grow up, stop being so self-serving, and listen to your staff when they report sexual harassment.

@Forrasee

You're a patronising twat who failed to lead everyone and managed to alienate an entire team and drive them to resign within months of you arriving. You simper around the office in stupid wedding shoes and make a mockery of feminism, because you are actually pretty intelligent but love to act coy and feeble to our male bosses.

Have we worked with the same person?! The description is scarily similar, including the wedding shoes.

I did... I was sacked for failing to lie about another employee - or at least ex employee.

We'd been told that we should tell clients that he was on holiday which we did for some time but then we were informed he'd been sacked but we should continue to make excuses. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore and told a particulary pushy client that he no longer worked there. I got sacked for gross misconduct

I hated the job anyway. It was a small company and the owner was vile and his wife not much better and the pay was utterly appalling.

He screamed at me that I was sacked and actually used hte words "F*ck off I never want to see you again". I lost my cool and screamed back that "he was the worst boss I'd ever had, he was a lying git and I hated him and was glad to leave" and then stormed out. Before leaving I made one final call to the client I'd spoken to and told him what had happened - that I'd been sacked for telling the truth (well I had nothing to lose by then)

He was very apologetic because he'd effectively landed me in it and two weeks later he asked me if I'd do a 6 month maternity leave cover - my first job was to work on terminating their contact with my ex employer. It was deeply deeply satisfying and 20 years down the line I still relish the memory

@starrynight21

Today's boss is tomorrow's referee. I'd leave it.

Not really, and in most cases company lawyers have insisted only confirmed dates of employment will be given as a reference. Even where that’s not true - why would a nasty boss give a bad reference if you’ve left anyway? It’s not the 1950s thank god.

I fantasise about this daily, but its not to the employer, its to about half the people we work we.
Essentially 'You are all entitled, manipulative, ungrateful, lazy arseholes and you're not indispensible (as for some mind boggling reason you think you are) I could hire random people off the street who would do a better job than you and who would be much more deserving of the wage&benefits and would take the piss a lot less.

I wish I had been able to tell my boss she was the worst individual I had ever had the displeasure of working for. That she is disgrace to women with responsibility and her level of dishonesty, selfishness and bullying behaviour may appear like the reason I left but ultimately I was building up a business on the side and when HR offered me an exit deal to silence me to stop me taking action against of course I was going to take the money and get out of there.

She may think this makes her the winner but karma is a bitch and one day I hope she gets everything she deserves.

I actually couldn’t have given the speech I would now give as I didn’t know the half of it.
Since I left (was pretty much fired) my lovely colleague left too and my replacement quit and had a major breakdown. All of us worked for one toxic person but the gaslighting made me believe I was shit.