To be surprised at how everyone knows everyone in small towns?

[thissemicharmedlife]

Well obviously I am BU because it’s such a given, but has anybody found this aspect a bit of a culture shock when moving from a bigger city to a smaller town?

I grew up in a biggish city then moved to a lovely market town about 12 miles away (population about 30,000) at 20. However me and DP continued working in our home city for the first few years so never really got to know anyone locally. Anyway since having a child (so experiencing baby groups, nursery and school start) as well as getting a part-time job locally it’s really hit me how everybody knows everybody. There is no separation at all, if you mention where you work to your neighbours then they inevitably know or are related to half of your colleagues. If one of the school mums adds you on Facebook then they are mutual friends with everyone else you know in the town. You can’t go round Sainsbury’s without seeing a dozen people you know. I kind of miss before when I was anonymous.

I do wonder what it will be like longterm for my children to grow up and go to school here. If you’ve grown up in a small town did it feel a bit claustrophobic to know everybody? I used to bus to secondary school in a different area of my city and my parents didn’t know anyone else’s parents at my school. I would bet there’s at most one degree of separation between everyone round here.

We moved from a city to a very small town (c.10000 people) and I felt completely adrift. Despite losing my anonymity I didn't gain friends or anything. We joined stuff, had kids who then joined things, but we were never accepted as being part of the community.

I moved to a small town from the big big city I grew up in and I vastly prefer it. Nobody here has ever given me a lecture on decency! Lol. It's a place that is relaxed about difference, but the community is so strong and I have been so welcomed and supported here. I really feel like I live in a place, rather than just a drone stored at night on a brick shelf.

My town is slightly bigger but geographically contained on a peninsula. My dad was a local GP and I taught in the town for almost 30 years - I can't go anywhere without bumping into someone who knew my dad, me as a child, or someone I taught or their families. Most of the time I really like it - I'm the sort of person who needs deep roots somewhere. Occasionally it's annoying, but wouldn't change it. When I've lived elsewhere I was always so relieved to come back.

I moved from London to a city of 300,000 - I'm not originally from London but the new city is still the smallest place I've ever been.

I also started a business, which means I know a lot more people than I otherwise would, but I still find it very weird that I keep bumping into people I know when out and about! Sometimes I'll walk the dog and run into 3 people I know - in addition to anyone I know from the dog walking circuit.

I was in the pub once and someone pointed at me and loudly announced "it's the [business name] lady"

I do miss the anonymity of London sometimes! I've only been here 2 and a bit years so it's not going to get any better

DH is from a small town. Additionally we are a mixed race couple. Went back to his home town with DD and early morning I took her for a walk on the beach. Everyone stopped and chatted with me asking about DH, his sister, MIL land DD. I had no idea who anyone was but they clearly knew who I was. By describing the dogs everyone was walking, DH managed to work out who most of the people were. Disturbing though.