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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU for not buying my mother more shoes?

84 replies

BlueFlyAway · 27/01/2021 13:32

I live at home with my mother. I help with bills and chores and online groceries. I just can't afford my own rent. Unless if I move into the city but I will have to give up my job and look for work in the city. Definitely as soon as all the covid dies down, it's on my list to do but currently it's too risky to uproot and change jobs and move.

A clothing catalogue comes in the mail to me, I think it's seasonal, every three months and one came yesterday in the mail. My mother wanted to have a look at the catalogue and that wasn't a problem with me.

Within 5 minutes she found some some boots that she liked the look of and it came with a discount code too. Basically she never even asked me but she told me she wanted this boots and could I get them for her. You see she doesn't know how to use the Internet or computers.

Things is these boots were ridiculous and came with a three 3 heel. My mother isn't nearly 70. I know age shouldnt be a factor in clothes. It's been about 15 years since she last had a social life. I don't understand what she has planned to wear these boots to? She doesn't go out anywhere and that was before covid times too. She certainly isn't going to wear them going for walks on a rural, rocky road. I really don't understand where she intends to wear them too.

Another thing is, I bought her boots back in October and she loved them so much she wanted me to go in for a second pair. Not only that but she also got me to buy shoes for her in November. That's to all to a shoe and boot collection that is already substantial.

WIBU to make excuses to get out from buying her more boots?

OP posts:
SushiSoozie · 28/01/2021 16:35

The OP says she pays towards bills and shopping- not that she pays nothing into the household budget, so I think it is unfair to accuse her of sponging off her DM.

She helps with bills and shopping, that's not paying your own way. She IS sponging off her mother.

ou also have to tell her that you can't bankroll her, ask for her debit card

Would you really say that to someone who's house you were living in rent free?

Wingedharpy · 28/01/2021 16:38

Is there a back story here OP?

Does your DM have 4 rooms in the house packed from floor to ceiling with unworn shoes?

If not, Comtesse may have a point so just be sure to ask your DM if she wouldn't prefer you to order some wide- fit, flat, black lace ups instead?

katy1213 · 28/01/2021 16:40

You're 'out of pocket' for a week! You should be paying a proper rent to your mother, not just 'helping out' with bills. And it's none of your business how she chooses to spend her own money.
You're going to get the shock of your life when you get your own place and realise how much she's subsidising your life.

katy1213 · 28/01/2021 16:43

And if you were my daughter, you'd get a kick of my high-heeled boot up your ungrateful, entitled arse.

Toocold · 28/01/2021 16:46

Your poor mum! If she wants to wear boots with three inch heels why the hell can’t she?! I hope you pay an equal share of the bills, even if you do you have no right to control what someone else wears!

Tehmina23 · 28/01/2021 17:23

FYI I have colleagues aged up to 75 who wear heels on work nights out (sadly not happening right now due to the Covid but anyway)...

bridgetreilly · 28/01/2021 17:30

Just tell her that you won't order them until she's given you the money. If she wants them and pays for them, it's not up to you to tell her she can't have them. But you don't have to be out of pocket, even for a short time, to make that happen.

SageRosemary · 28/01/2021 18:05

Huya KnitFairy, how's she cutting?

Poof, disappears until the next name change!

Wink
altiara · 28/01/2021 18:22

Suggestions-
Use mums bank card to pay
Look sad and say don’t you like the other boots I bought you
Box up old (well newish) boots and shoes so they look exciting again
Never tell a women she can’t buy heels if she can afford it - the joy is in the buying
Maybe eBay the old (well newish) boots and shoes

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