‘Baby’ versus ‘the baby’

[Orangebitters]

Does this give anyone else an irrational rage?

I am recently pregnant and I keep hearing......

‘When baby comes’
‘Best for baby’
‘I bet you can’t wait for baby’
‘Is baby a boy or a girl’

I miss the definite article.

This made me laugh because it’s reminded me of how annoying I used to find this what I was pregnant. I do not understand why people say this!

“Baby” is awful
So is “boobing” as a verb and also “boob” as in “I’ll just give him boob and he’ll fall asleep”.
All variations of “cloth bum” and “cloth bumming” also enrage me, they’re cloth nappies or reusable nappies.

But I would like to make the case that two particular words are worse than all of the above, particularly when combined to make the most vomit-inducing phrases known to man.

“Baba” or “bubba” and, in first place, “Mama”.

Grown women referring to themselves and each other as “Mama”. WHY?!?

Eg. Woman posts on social media “so tired, been boobing all night and bubba just won’t settle, any tips?”

Host of replies: “you got this Mama!”

I have actually seen someone describe themselves on Instagram as a “cloth bum, boobing and baby-wearing Mama” and I wanted to delete all social media there and then.

I used to refer to them as the symbiont.

I was reading with horror the thread about rubbish care after having a c section. The care from my hospital was great, and I think they also called me by name. I'm sure there's a link.

The most annoying of all is “our baby” when that person isn’t either of the parents.

This always gave me the rage but I could never work out why.

Why does missing off the definite article change the whole meaning to something so cringeworthy?

@Minesril

I used to refer to them as the symbiont.

I was reading with horror the thread about rubbish care after having a c section. The care from my hospital was great, and I think they also called me by name. I'm sure there's a link.

My GP referred to my oldest when I was pregnant as “the parasite” as she was sucking the life out of me.

DS2 aas called Baby for a couple of weeks because he had no name, but not before he was born.

@Mypathtriedtokillme

The most annoying of all is “our baby” when that person isn’t either of the parents.

Isn't this regional? My Gran used to refer as much cousin (her BIL's son) as "our David" etc. It just means David in our family. Everyone in the extended family was "our".

@Rockettrain
“I have actually seen someone describe themselves on Instagram as a “cloth bum, boobing and baby-wearing Mama” and I wanted to delete all social media there and then.“

I know one of those!! It winds my sister and I up beyond belief but we still regularly check her socials like some kind of bizarre compulsion.... we actually WANT to be infuriated and enraged by it just so we can have a good rant!! I have never been so grateful for my little bit of self-awareness - I’ve seen a lot of mums go completely batshit with this stuff. Unfollow unfollow unfollow 😂

That annoyed me too. And being called mum - only one person is supposed to call me mum.
My mum calls me mum which really confuses dd

Grown women referring to themselves and each other as “Mama”. WHY?!?

I think it’s forgivable in America in some contexts because it’s the equivalent of ‘Mum’ and ‘mother’ can sometimes sound too formal. (Glances at title of website...)

However ‘you got this mama’ is AWFUL, AWFUL, AWFUL!!! You have no idea whether somebody on the internet ‘got this’. Stop spouting platitudes!!!

Oh the boobing, boobed also sounds horrible. Why can’t they just say feed/fed their baby? Sometimes I wonder if it’s so they can make it clear they are breastfeeding cause heaven forbid someone thinks they use a bottle!

@Tempusfudgeit

One consultant introduced herself as the 'baby doctor'. PAEDIATRICIAN!

How did you resist the urge to ask for a fully trained doctor?

I hated being referred to as Mum by health professionals. Say 'how are you?' not 'how is mum?' Interestingly I have never heard dh referred to as Dad. He is taking our opinionated teen to an appointment where last time they referred to me as mum, might have a little discussion with her about it and see if she spots any disparity.

I couldn't be bothered to get worked up about this!

@diversity101

I love “changing her/his bum”! I never heard it before. Sounds like they are about to get plastic surgery. Can someone change my bum? Would love one that is a bit less squishy!

Oh I thought that was fairly common? Would you say nappy instead?

@Minesril

I used to refer to them as the symbiont.

I was reading with horror the thread about rubbish care after having a c section. The care from my hospital was great, and I think they also called me by name. I'm sure there's a link.

No link. I had good after care, amazing NICU care, excellent care for months on a surgical ward, the kind of care that's kept me vaguely sane from community nursing. All call me Mom / Mommy.

@Tempusfudgeit

One consultant introduced herself as the 'baby doctor'. PAEDIATRICIAN!

It is twee as fuck, but given the low levels of literacy seen on MN I imagine there are a fair number of people who wouldn’t know what a paediatrician was, or wouldn’t know the difference between a paediatrician and a paedophile, so I can kind of see where she’s coming from.

@Sheleg my husband does this but he calls the baby "the maggot" which is definitely not cute or twee haha

@MaskingForIt at the hospital where I had DD, all the staff referred to the paediatricians as 'baby doctors' and that is also how they introduced themselves. I think you're right; a significant minority of people wouldn't know what it means and may even get confused with paedophile.

It was quite amusing though when one of the doctors came to talk to us, introduced himself as the 'baby doctor' and then we went onto have a very in-depth discussion about the biological mechanisms underpinning newborn jaundice (me and DH are both scientists). His face sort of said 'ok, I probably didn't need to say baby doctor'

Due to a medication I’ve had to stay on during pregnancy, my notes all have “paed alert” on them, as the baby may need extra checks after birth. I can imagine some patients being confused or offended by that!

The worst is referring to a child as ‘pickle’ or ‘the pickle’.

Jack Dee rant: 'When midwives say 'How baby?' I say, 'Baby fine, how spinster?!'

@diversity101

Oh the boobing, boobed also sounds horrible. Why can’t they just say feed/fed their baby? Sometimes I wonder if it’s so they can make it clear they are breastfeeding cause heaven forbid someone thinks they use a bottle!

Nah I use ‘boob’ in the context of ‘gave him boob’ to clarify it wasn’t a bottle of expressed if it was a hcp/sleep consultant or something that I am talking to.

Talking to my nan/family it’s just ‘fed’ because it’s not relevant how.

It's bloody irritating.

@Tempusfudgeit oh I had something similar during my labour! One of the obstetricians told me they had called a paediatrician in to monitor and the other obstetrician (the man I absolutely couldn't stand) slowly told me "he is the baby doctor. A paediatrician is a doctor for babies."

I managed to find the strength to yell "thanks, I'm not a bloody idiot" during that contraction.