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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

‘Baby’ versus ‘the baby’

128 replies

Orangebitters · 26/01/2021 16:06

Does this give anyone else an irrational rage?

I am recently pregnant and I keep hearing......

‘When baby comes’
‘Best for baby’
‘I bet you can’t wait for baby’
‘Is baby a boy or a girl’

I miss the definite article.

OP posts:
Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 26/01/2021 18:11

@Heysiripissoff

I've had three pregnancies and HCP have driven me bonkers with that each time.
Me too. With my first, I thought it was some quirky irritating thing just my midwife did, but nope. Its a thing.

This isn't related, but my dp used to be a part time carer years ago, looking after older teenagers with autism (they needed 24/7 care). All the carers in dps team would refer to the parents as mum and dad! Even when the people they cared for weren't around, and they were disgusting things that the parents had requested to do with their children etc, it was also "well mum and dad have asked that he foes to the library on Tuesday". Used to make my blood boil.

BertieBotts · 26/01/2021 18:21

I like change the bum - I always imagine I might be able to change it for one which doesn't produce such an almighty stink.

unmarkedbythat · 26/01/2021 18:29

Can't say I've ever thought about it. I had plenty of irrational rages during each pregnancy and post natal period but this wasn't one of them. Mind you I'm married to a Pole, if consistent use of the definite article by those who surround me was a need of mine, I'd be fucked anyway.

Original poster
Orangebitters · 26/01/2021 19:42

@BubblyBarbara

“The” is dehumanising. It’s like when doctors talk about “the mum” rather than saying just mum. Baby is person.
I’m not sure if this is a joke but I think it must be since you’ve now lost the indefinite article too!
OP posts:
Original poster
Orangebitters · 26/01/2021 19:43

@unmarkedbythat

Can't say I've ever thought about it. I had plenty of irrational rages during each pregnancy and post natal period but this wasn't one of them. Mind you I'm married to a Pole, if consistent use of the definite article by those who surround me was a need of mine, I'd be fucked anyway.
this made me chuckle! Grin
OP posts:
Daphnise · 26/01/2021 19:46

It is irritating- and there will be many more irritating things once "baby" is born.....

Coffeeandaride · 26/01/2021 19:48

Agree

ReindeersAhoy · 26/01/2021 19:49

I hate this too. My mum called and referred to my dd 'baby' for weeks after she was born. I think because she didn't like the name. She also called me mummy for years even after I said it was weird and creepy. Only the kids get to call me mummy.

partyatthepalace · 26/01/2021 19:50

Mum - even worse

How's Mum
And this is for Mum

sanityisamyth · 26/01/2021 19:51

@TwoDrifters2

I hate this too. And vice versa when an unnecessary “the” gets inserted. My mother does this. She talks about a message she got on “the WhatsApp” and now what’s going on with “the COVID”.
It REALLY annoys me when people say THE flu. You wouldn't say you've got THE arthritis or THE cancer etc.
Juanbablo · 26/01/2021 19:51

"Are you mum?" That really annoys me too. No I'm Juanbablo. I'm the child's mum.

roarfeckingroarr · 26/01/2021 19:57

So many linguistic things bother me but this actually doesn't.

roarfeckingroarr · 26/01/2021 19:59

I shudder at "boobing" or "changing his/her/its bum". I really disliked "little man" but DH calls our baby boy and it's quite lovely between them.

nitsandwormsdodger · 26/01/2021 20:27

Well I love a bumpie whumpie. Bubba wabba , ikkle bikkie

I love ( loved pre covid ☹️) rubbing my loved ones bellies and asking how's. Mumsie wumsie doing ??

I'm lucky to have escaped with my life 😂

MintyMabel · 26/01/2021 20:27

Irritated the hell out of me. I found it too cutesy and patronising. It’s never used in any other context. Nobody would say “when child comes home from school” or “when husband cooks dinner” why do it with babies?

MintyMabel · 26/01/2021 20:30

No I'm Juanbablo. I'm the child's mum.

I find this one particularly annoying when used at Team Around the Child meetings or in medical meetings. The use of “mum” is quite belittling. Here’s all these consultants and their professional roles and this is mum.

I always made a point of saying I was MintyMable, DD’s expert and advocate.

thepeopleversuswork · 26/01/2021 20:31

I can't stand it either. So twee and awful.

Builditupp · 26/01/2021 20:33

Definitely think the baby is the right way to refer to them.

Lookingoutside · 26/01/2021 20:35

Can’t stand it. Especially ‘best for baby’.

Is it though. Is it really? 😡

TheSoapyFrog · 26/01/2021 20:43

Nothing is worse than boobing/boobed.
I have noticed a shift away from 'peanut' and there are now a lot of 'dinky dots' instead.

CeliaCanth · 26/01/2021 20:47

“The baby” - definitely the only acceptable option (apart from their actual proper name of course).

And I couldn’t bear to use a pushchair called “ickle bubba” or whatever the ghastly brand is.

Vtech · 26/01/2021 21:22

I agree. For some reason this is such a pet hate of mine. I despise it.

Vtech · 26/01/2021 21:23

I shudder at "boobing" or "changing his/her/its bum"

This too! Revolting beyond belief.

Tempusfudgeit · 26/01/2021 21:25

One consultant introduced herself as the 'baby doctor'. PAEDIATRICIAN!

SachaStark · 26/01/2021 21:27

Oh god, I’ve also just been reminded of another my relative uses: “cloth bumming.”

As in... a verb.

To cloth bum.

Shudder.