To ask about personal spending money if your hobby is funded by employer?

[EvenPhilip]

Currently having some issues with dh and money.
He is very low maintenance clothes and grooming wise and his hobby gets paid for by work.
I am currently sahm, he puts a certain amount in my account which basically covers food and a few bills. There is nothing left over that I can spend on me.
I'm not expecting a huge designer allowance or anything just some spending money.
He doesn't get it as he says he doesn't spend stuff on crap.
However his hobby is funded by work and I'm sure if it wasn't he'd feel differently.

Really depends on what you mean by hobby paid by work. If you mean that he takes customers on golf trips, than that's not fair to call it a hobby.

I don't really understand the problem. What are you expecting him to do?

Apart from the fact he previously cut your allowance when you had a pt job, do he's controlling?

But back to the issue? He has a job. It pays x. And part of that is to go towards his hobby. So? He can't earn any more actual money can get?

I don't understand how the hobby is involved, as per the title.

If money is not enough, it's not enough. The hobby bit isn't relevant.

@EvenPhilip

So if I told you that I had a pt job briefly and he cut my 'housekeeping' by the amount I was earning what would you think?

I'd think he was a cunt

I would also advise you to get a full time job asap

He works for Games Workshop and mystery hobby is warhammer.

Anyway, you need to talk to him, this is controlling behaviour. You should have one account for bills and housekeeping and a personal amount where you get your allowance. If you get another job you should contribute to the pot then both up your personal allowance.
Interesting all the posters saying there should just be one account, there’s another post about finances with the majority saying to keep finances separate.

Why are hobbies always top secret?

It doesn't have to be one joint account, but it should not be unilaterally decided by one partner how much the other is entitled to. That's the controlling aspect.

Could you use your child benefit for any personal bits you need ?

Everyone should have access to money. In your shoes, I woukd go back to work

Sorry, not ignoring your plight but others have given much better advice than I could. I'm just going to note that his attitude says 'sailing' or 'golf' to me

Tell him getting “pin money” went out with the 60s and move to a shared “fun” account which has equal amounts of what is left after bills and savings!

I love my job, but I wouldn’t consider it a hobby even where expenses are paid by my employer.

But you need to work out a more equitable distribution of money and more transparency with both of you having control over joint spending. If you’re earning, you need to contribute more to the family pot. If you aren’t you need to work out together what you can both afford in terms of personal spending. I personally would be going back to work, contributing to family money and taking more control over the money at my disposal.

I couldn't live like that. He's effectively taken your (financial) freedom away. I would have to get a job and start taking control of my own money. You have no pension, no income and being given a small allowance. Sorry to be blunt, but that would completely freak me out.

He sounds financially abusive and it sounds like you're in a vulnerable situation

@EvenPhilip

So if I told you that I had a pt job briefly and he cut my 'housekeeping' by the amount I was earning what would you think?

I'd invoice him for 50% of childcare costs and, cleaning etc. You may be at home, but what you're doing has financial value even to him.

To clarify the childcare, cleaning etc that you're doing, that he'd have to pay gif you were working full time.

@EvenPhilip

So if I told you that I had a pt job briefly and he cut my 'housekeeping' by the amount I was earning what would you think?

1. You should not have to explain what you want to buy or why. 2. Just because it is not what he would spend money on doesn't make it 'crap'. 3. He expects all your money to go towards household costs? The nicest thing you can say about this is that he may be clueless. The worst is that he is a controlling idiot who does not appreciate or value what you contribute to the family.

Why dont you tot up what it would cost to have a full time nanny, baby sitter for the hours and days the nanny is off, cleaner, cook, driver - and then present him with your wages bill?

This

Get a full time job. Financial abuse is terrifying.
i've never shared a bank account with a partner and never will
I earn my own money I pay my way (bills and rent/ mortage) and that's that

( and I should say I'm a very low earner, but I would say this to anyone whatever their wage...)