To blame you lot and demand help! (Cake related!)

[LemonInPlay]

Before Christmas there were a few threads/posts on here recommending christmas cake, cheese and port.

Previously I imagined that only victorian ghosts and ancient Yorkshiremen ate this, but I was inspired to give it a go as I was after a nice, grown up christmas treat.

So I duly bought a good quality cake, a slab of decent Wensleydale and a great bottle of port.

WELL I AM FUCKING HOOKED AND IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

But now......

Now there are no fucking decent fruitcakes (soaked in booze ones!) in any fucking shop, it is still cold and wintery and I WANT MY TREAT!

I need this.....I am having a bloody shit time at the moment and my "happy place" is in my dressing gown watching spooky shit and eating cake, cheese and port.

I have looked online, but honestly don't know which ones are best, and I can't afford to spend a fortune, but I do want a decent one.

So AIBU to demand that you make atonement for getting me addicted to this lovely food by giving me decent but fairly priced cake recs for online ordering??

Ooops.....didn't mean to enable voting, but what the hell...

YABU- we owe you NOTHING it's your own fault for bowing to peer pressure.

YANBU- it's basically food and drink crack and you must be compensated immediately.

If anyone knows any brilliant local/ home bakers near me I'm up for that, I'm in Norths Herts.

Give a woman a fruitcake and you feed her for a day. Teach a woman to bake and you feed her for a lifetime

Yup. Time to crack out the Delia.

@SoupDragon

Give a woman a fruitcake and you feed her for a day. Teach a woman to bake and you feed her for a lifetime

This is the plan for next winter, but doesn't a decent fruitcake take months?? I don't want it in June...I want it now!!

Does it have to be Christmas cake? Would a fruit cake suffice?

www.farmersgirlkitchen.co.uk/marys-tea-time-cake-for-recipe-clippings/

You can soak the fruit in tea rather than alcohol, although that might be the attraction?
There are certainly recipes for next day christmas cakes - www.allrecipes.co.uk/recipe/45014/eat-next-day-rich-fruit-cake.aspx

Noooo you have to save these things for Christmas otherwise they just become normal and you won't enjoy them as much. I feel the same about mince pies but there's a reason they're only around at Christmas!

As a not quite ancient Yorkshire woman, I'm quite baffled that you've apparently got to adulthood without experiencing such a delight.

Christmas cake with cheese is very much standard here. If someone offers cake without, you can be sure that someone would say 'where's t'cheese'.

However, can you even buy Christmas cake at this time of year? Even all the 'reduced after Christmas' stock has probably gone now. I'd definitely suggest making your own, home made cake is always far superior to anything shop bought, unless you pay £££s.

However, if you don't want to bake, this one looks OK, although I'd feed it booze for a few days first.

www.waitrose.com/ecom/products/waitrose-fruit-cake/018594-8979-8980

But my mischievous side can't help but recommend the offerings of the local crack cake dealer, Betty's

www.bettys.co.uk/yorkshire-sloe-gin-fruit-cake-in-a-tin

You'll be wanting some fat rascals while you're at it.

Tesco’s always used to sell a white iced ‘celebration cake’ all year. I used to buy it when I was competing my horse a lot, so I could eat in between dressage tests for an energy boost.

100% not unreasonable OP.

I am probably going to get thrown over the border into Lancashire for this but I tried Xmas cake with cheese once and hated it. It’s very wrong

@BarbaraofSeville how could you post a link to Betty’s!! Don’t you know I’m supposed to be on a DIET!

Delia’s Mincemeat Xmas cake if you have a jar of mince... otherwise it’ll take about 48hrs to get a decent Xmas cake made!

[quote PeterPandemic]Does it have to be Christmas cake? Would a fruit cake suffice?

www.farmersgirlkitchen.co.uk/marys-tea-time-cake-for-recipe-clippings/

You can soak the fruit in tea rather than alcohol, although that might be the attraction?
There are certainly recipes for next day christmas cakes - www.allrecipes.co.uk/recipe/45014/eat-next-day-rich-fruit-cake.aspx[/quote]
Hmm I'll save that but not quite what I'm after.
I want the really dark richness of christmas cake.

@DaphneBridgerton

Noooo you have to save these things for Christmas otherwise they just become normal and you won't enjoy them as much. I feel the same about mince pies but there's a reason they're only around at Christmas!

This is normally my thinking too! It's just while it's still cold and I'm craving rich comfort food, plus the way I look at it is, it's cold and shit, I have very little joy in my life, and I feel prolonging that lovely wintry treat a little longer is just the thing I need

Dark richness is probably the black treacle.

Asda fruitcake . Brick shaped but packed with fruit & fabulous. And cheap 😁.

@BarbaraofSeville

As a not quite ancient Yorkshire woman, I'm quite baffled that you've apparently got to adulthood without experiencing such a delight.

Christmas cake with cheese is very much standard here. If someone offers cake without, you can be sure that someone would say 'where's t'cheese'.

However, can you even buy Christmas cake at this time of year? Even all the 'reduced after Christmas' stock has probably gone now. I'd definitely suggest making your own, home made cake is always far superior to anything shop bought, unless you pay £££s.

However, if you don't want to bake, this one looks OK, although I'd feed it booze for a few days first.

www.waitrose.com/ecom/products/waitrose-fruit-cake/018594-8979-8980

But my mischievous side can't help but recommend the offerings of the local crack cake dealer, Betty's

www.bettys.co.uk/yorkshire-sloe-gin-fruit-cake-in-a-tin

You'll be wanting some fat rascals while you're at it.

You are both an angel and a devil Barbara!!

Yeah I'm in the darkest South East and apparently these Northern delights do not filter down well here, speaking of which, Fat Rascals look fucking amazing.

I am seriously considering moving north for the cakes alone!

Bloody hell that Betty's looks good, bit more than I might have been willing to pay, but it's calling to me so bad.

Gahhh...to spend or not to spend.

I have 2 2year old Christmas cakes sat in my kitchen. Foil wrapped, stodgy and dense as. No one seems to want them....

@JontyDoggle37

Tesco’s always used to sell a white iced ‘celebration cake’ all year. I used to buy it when I was competing my horse a lot, so I could eat in between dressage tests for an energy boost.

Looked, but they are all choc/victoria now I think.

@lifeturnsonadime

100% not unreasonable OP.

THANK YOU!

I can post you one!

@Hoppinggreen

I am probably going to get thrown over the border into Lancashire for this but I tried Xmas cake with cheese once and hated it. It’s very wrong

NO NO NO.

It is fucking amazing and I will die on this (Yorkshire) hill!

@Peace43

Delia’s Mincemeat Xmas cake if you have a jar of mince... otherwise it’ll take about 48hrs to get a decent Xmas cake made!

Really? I thought you had to feed it booze for ages, but I'm not an experienced baker!

@SallyTimms

I have 2 2year old Christmas cakes sat in my kitchen. Foil wrapped, stodgy and dense as. No one seems to want them....

GIVE ME THE CAKE!!!

SERIOUSLY!

But do send it to me if it's going to waste, it's too bloody good.