It’s me or the dog

[Trivialpursuitofhappiness]

Okay, not literally but

DP moved in a few months ago and along with him came his dog. Now I’ve fallen in love with her and happily take her for walks, cook her dinner etc and take an active role in sharing ownership of the dog.

But every time DP comes home or walks into a room where me and the dog are (she already prefers me haha) he greets the dog first. Every time. Or it’s ‘hi baby/beautiful/etc’ to the dog and just a hi to me after. I don’t know why lately it’s just getting beyond on my nerves.

Thing that prompted this thread is just now I was lying in bed (don’t judge, it’s lockdown and I’m furloughed. There’s nothing to do) with the dog and he says he’s going the shops. Walks to dog, cuddles/kisses goodbye and then just says bye to me.

Argh it’s so trivial but I’m literally getting jealous the attention the dog gets more than me. Feel free to tell me to get over myself or join me in being outraged.

I don't understand the problem. Your partner is only doing what any normal dog owner does, myself included.

I’m sorry I can’t be helpful. This is just how it is when there are dogs in your life.

Ps I bet you do the same thing!

I’m guilty of this too 😀

I do see your point, OP. My DH dotes on our dogs but he also adores me and makes that patently obvious. I would be a bit put out if he showered the dogs with love but seemed a bit indifferent towards me. YANBU

Pmsl! You have literally just described me. When I am going to bed or work, I always make a huge fuss of the dog telling her how much I love her whereas husband will just get a casual 'see ya later'.

Don't take it personally. Dogs don't live for very long so we need to double quadruple up on the amount of love and fuss given imo.

Yeah I'm guilty of this too

I do this too, so do the kids when they come home!

The dog is always happy to see us when we come home.

So I suggest you come running when he’s back from the shop, jump up his leg and wag your butt! You’ll get lots of fuss then.

I absolutely do this love-bombing with my dog. And not my partner. I suspect it's a dog-person thing, unfortunately. On the plus side, if the dog has him that trained to be affectionate, you can probably train him to be the same with you in a week! Dog owners are generally easier to train than their dogs...

It's entirely normal. I have a dog and I'm guilty of giving her more attention than DH, in terms of I'll give the dog loads of cuddles.

It won't be done on purpose. Maybe mention it as it upsets you, but I doubt it's anything to worry about.

We have 4 ddogs. Luckily dh knows his place..

You should grow some facial hair OP. And a tail.

Normal dog ownership YABU sorry

I'd get worried if he suggested a threesome, otherwise its no biggy

Yeah both DH and I address the dog before each other. The dog even gets priority greeting over the kids. It’s not personal or deliberate just sort of happens!

There used to be a lovely programme on TV about re-training / helping dogs who had all sorts of problems, eg - barking/ running away.

One of the things I remember is one of the trainers pointing out that dogs are pack animals and so hierarchy is really important, within their family. He said it was important to treat the dog according to this hierarchy and it helped discipline. So when he went home, he'd greet his wife, then the the children and then the dog, so the dog had the family hierarchy re-enforced on a daily basis. Those above the dog in the hierarchy could discipline / order the dog and the dog would accept this.

According to this logic in your family the dog is higher in the hierarchy than you are.........

My DP does this too, I think he finds it easier to show love to her than people. I redress the balance by also giving the dog more affection than him. Our dog is very happy!

Same here, what's more the affection my family members show the dog makes me glow too. It's a sort of reflection of a happy, healthy relationship somehow!

To be fair with dogs it never ceases to amaze me how happy they are to see you even if you only left the room 2 minutes ago! Of my family have a little celebration every time I entered the room I might pay them more attention!

DPotter's perspective is very outdated now. Not the current thinking at all.

@DPotter

There used to be a lovely programme on TV about re-training / helping dogs who had all sorts of problems, eg - barking/ running away.

One of the things I remember is one of the trainers pointing out that dogs are pack animals and so hierarchy is really important, within their family. He said it was important to treat the dog according to this hierarchy and it helped discipline. So when he went home, he'd greet his wife, then the the children and then the dog, so the dog had the family hierarchy re-enforced on a daily basis. Those above the dog in the hierarchy could discipline / order the dog and the dog would accept this.

According to this logic in your family the dog is higher in the hierarchy than you are.........

Pack theory and hierarchy stuff is pretty much debunked theory now. Dogs don’t think they are human and they don’t think humans are dogs.

Guilty as charged.
Before I go to work I kiss my dog and tell him he is my world.
My OH is lucky if he gets a kiss 😂

I think he might be a bit jealous of you. His best bud is glued to you! He is both used to greeting her immediately and probably trying to win her back all in one.

This is me but with our (aka my) cat.

Ergo perfectly reasonable behaviour.

Erm, we have a dog and I absolutely do not do this, and nor does my husband. I wouldn't even thing to do this, but I'm really not a dog person. I'd be annoyed if he started this up though!

He’s a keeper! My dog doesn’t want to discuss the intricacies of minecraft with me and they keep my legs warm. Of course they’re my favourite!