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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour behaviour

87 replies

Stars90 · 23/01/2021 13:46

Name changed for this.

AIBU think this is odd behaviour...

I have very friendly neighbours, all of which I’d say are ‘too friendly’ there’s a couple imperticular which come across as too in your face.
Ie, messaging everyday, asking to come over at least 4 times a week not considering lockdown neither, in the last 6 months they have gone out of their way to get a bigger car more or less a mini bus for ‘day trips’ with us, this has never been spoke about just assumed, they also have cameras pointing directly onto our property, in a safety manor we agreed this was ok at the beginning, but I’ve noticed the camera now pointing more to our window rather than front of the property.
A comment was made the other day, how they claim to have access to our secure internet done through some software they have access too and checking what we have been doing and who we were speaking to, since this comment has been made I feel very uncomfortable and I feel this is very strange, why would they want to be on our wifi when they have their own, why would they want to be watching what we do?
I don’t see these neighbours at all as a threat, their a married couple in their late 40s with children. Ranging from 6-18

I’ve mentioned this to my friend about the situation and she has stated she has a good neighbourly friendship with her neighbour, socially speaking in passing or seeing each other in the garden doing washing ect, but nothing to this extent. Am I being unreasonable to feel concerned about this behaviour? It’s not something I’ve experienced before

OP posts:
RolandSchitt · 25/01/2021 08:12

I think they're trying to lure you into their paranoid wee cult, OP. Imagine the day trips out on the community mini bus 😬 They'll have a key for your house before you know it.

Stars90 · 25/01/2021 08:21

Thank you, yes this is what I thought, I don’t want a massive falling out with people who are right on the door step.
Im not seen as vulnerable no, when I moved in I was alone, rather young. My partner has moved in a few months ago, but they still seem to be very much the same.

I did feel it was them being nice and ‘overly’ protective at some stage, but it seems they want to be too involved a lot too which does make me slightly uncomfortable with something’s which have been said over time

OP posts:
KaptainKaveman · 25/01/2021 09:15

You need to get a solicitor to issue a 'cease and desist' letter immediately. They sound like intrusive, obsessive lunatics.

SummerWhisper · 25/01/2021 12:57

They sound like perverts, watching you in your private space. What is the man like? Does he dominate? How are the children? Are they subdued? Healthy? Happy? Or quiet? Do they keep to themselves? Do they play? My concern is also for them. The neighbours are minimising your feelings so that they can continue to spy on you. There was a horrific incident of a neighbour putting spyware inside a TV that was in the woman's bedroom. She didn't know for a few years that he was able to see her every private moment in that room. It sounds similar. Get eveything checked.

Stars90 · 25/01/2021 13:06

The children are very happy and healthy.
The man has issued ‘feelings and love’ towards me numerous times, despite both being in relationships

OP posts:
Boonlark · 25/01/2021 13:10

@Stars90

The children are very happy and healthy. The man has issued ‘feelings and love’ towards me numerous times, despite both being in relationships

Ah. So he fancies you and is spying on you? That sounds like a chat to the police for advice, type of thing Shock

raffle · 25/01/2021 13:17

The bloke fancies you and has told you so?

SummerWhisper · 25/01/2021 13:55

I think you have completely downplayed the whole thing. So the male neighbour has expressed a sexual and romantic interest in you and now has a cctv camera pointing at your bedroom window? This is bordering on sexual harassment. Speak to your local police station via 101. Today!

VeganVeal · 25/01/2021 18:25

Log it with 101

alexdgr8 · 31/01/2021 03:04

is this genuine.
bit of a drip feed if so. you now casually mention that these odd overly friendly neighbours are making sexual overtures or trying to flirt with you.
you need to get on top of this. i would be ignoring them after sending them copy of the regs re cctv.
if they ask who is coming/where going just ignore them.
you need to show them you are not a push-over.
what does your partner think of all this.

ikeptgoing · 31/01/2021 09:56

I'd stop chatting with them other than a hello and wave, as you're allowing an "in" to your life by talking. Somehow they are over invested in your lives and it has become intrusive and creepy.

Peacocking · 31/01/2021 11:46

Look up 'WiFi pineapple'. It might be a way they've used to get some of your Internet traffic monitored.

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