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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour behaviour

87 replies

Stars90 · 23/01/2021 13:46

Name changed for this.

AIBU think this is odd behaviour...

I have very friendly neighbours, all of which I’d say are ‘too friendly’ there’s a couple imperticular which come across as too in your face.
Ie, messaging everyday, asking to come over at least 4 times a week not considering lockdown neither, in the last 6 months they have gone out of their way to get a bigger car more or less a mini bus for ‘day trips’ with us, this has never been spoke about just assumed, they also have cameras pointing directly onto our property, in a safety manor we agreed this was ok at the beginning, but I’ve noticed the camera now pointing more to our window rather than front of the property.
A comment was made the other day, how they claim to have access to our secure internet done through some software they have access too and checking what we have been doing and who we were speaking to, since this comment has been made I feel very uncomfortable and I feel this is very strange, why would they want to be on our wifi when they have their own, why would they want to be watching what we do?
I don’t see these neighbours at all as a threat, their a married couple in their late 40s with children. Ranging from 6-18

I’ve mentioned this to my friend about the situation and she has stated she has a good neighbourly friendship with her neighbour, socially speaking in passing or seeing each other in the garden doing washing ect, but nothing to this extent. Am I being unreasonable to feel concerned about this behaviour? It’s not something I’ve experienced before

OP posts:
TheMandalorian · 23/01/2021 15:24

Gosh surely these are all rather silly jokey comments. Not particularly funny but maybe its just their quirky sense of humour. Why you didn't nip it in the bud at the start I dont know. But I guess maybe the unease has crept up on you.
I would suggest being very bold with the next suggestion from them. So when they ask to come round just say ' oh gosh, you're so funny/ silly' Bright and breezy with a big smile while walking away. If they mention the WiFi thing i would frown very seriously and ask them what they mean and then why. Say it is not a very funny joke and you certainly hope they haven't been stealing your WiFi.
I would also change your password.

AnitaB888 · 23/01/2021 15:28

OP,
A couple I know wanted to install CCTV cameras on their property to record the activities of 'difficult' neighbours.
They checked the regulations with the police and were told that they could do so as long as the cameras only recorded activities on their own property, not on anyone else's and not on the public highway.

So it would appear that the neighbours activities are illegal.

As for the internet claims, IMO it's a crock. Unless they have the back-up of the Home Office they can't interfere with anyone else's ISP.

Quite frankly, I think they are fantasists but I think a visit to the local Cop Shop to flag up your concerns would be a good idea. You need to get something recorded in case they ramp up their bizarre activities.

Stars90 · 23/01/2021 15:47

To the internet access this is the part I’m confused over, we have passwords and this has been checked and changed. They have said they have software to access internet’s without passwords when I asked how this is possible, however I have made blocked with my provider in connection with this.

The cameras started off pointing to the street/drive, they have them facing up and down, which started off ok, no issue at all, but over time this has turned to point directly at our window, which I have confronted them before about this, the camera was moved and turned and again it’s found a way back to the same angle. These cameras are indoor cameras and wireless so it’s not accidental.

They have been asked to change direction of the camera 3 times over the last day, however this seems to be avoided

OP posts:
BonnieDundee · 23/01/2021 16:08

FFS this actually.sounds like harassment and I'd be contacting my local PCSO for advice

Roussette · 23/01/2021 16:44

What on earth is the matter with them?

Just go over as i said before. Tell them they have 24 hours to move the direction of the camera or you will be in contact with not only the Police but your solicitor.

HarrysWife · 23/01/2021 16:55

@Stars90 they claim to have access to our secure internet done through some software they have access too and checking what we have been doing and who we were speaking to

how did this "joke" even happen? and what exactly was said? i cant imagine a way anyone could even say that. and what i would say back (apart from asking them to explain etc).

LagunaBubbles · 23/01/2021 17:04

None of this makes any sense to me, you seem rather calm and non plussed to.

Why haven't you asked them why they spied into your Internet?
How do they know when you plan on going on day trips, unless you tell them?

And this doesn't make sense They have said they have software to access internet’s without passwords when I asked how this is possible, however I have made blocked with my provider in connection with this

Perfect28 · 23/01/2021 17:11

You're not doing day/ car trips with them in lockdown are you? This is all very very weird

Stars90 · 23/01/2021 17:56

I have told them about the camera several times.

No, they went out of their way to buy a bigger car, and said it would be ideal for day trips in the summer for us all, this had never been mentioned before hand, seemed very sudden and expected

OP posts:
Cairnterrorist · 23/01/2021 17:58

They have said they have software to access internet’s without passwords when I asked how this is possible, however I have made blocked with my provider in connection with this.

What do you mean here? I’m not clear.

RoxytheRexy · 23/01/2021 18:15

Although it doesn’t solve the problem of the cameras facing you, how about putting some reflective film on your windows so they can’t see in?

I agree you shouldn’t have to but they send bonkers. I also call bullshit on the internet

CSIblonde · 23/01/2021 18:16

Do you mean they're hacking into your computer? I know an IT ex who would have been able to do that, but as I'm a technophobe,no idea how easy it is . They sound creepy & unhinged. I'd be distancing myself completely & googling legal advice on privacy & CC TV issues: or could your community police officers have a word with them. As they've ignored several requests re the camera I'd invest in some cheap net or voile until the issue is sorted: otherwise you're going to feel constantly on edge at home & thats not ok (or good for your mental health).

InFiveMins · 23/01/2021 18:27

Wow OP, they sound unhinged!

Cameras and claiming to have hacked your wifi? They know what they are doing - even if they haven't hacked your wifi they want you to feel 'on edge', and that's cruel.

Keep your distance from them. No need for confrontation. Just go cold on them gradually - they will get bored and move on.

user1471538283 · 23/01/2021 18:34

I would go to the police and get them to give them a warning and then do not engage with them again. I dont know what it is about some neighbours. They just dont get that neighbours are not usually friends.

VettiyaIruken · 23/01/2021 18:39

Put something up that blocks their camera. Figure out the angle and put a board or sheet or something on your property that blocks the camera.

VettiyaIruken · 23/01/2021 18:40

And don't be so naïve as to dismiss their behaviour as harmless.

Bookworming · 23/01/2021 18:40

They sound totally bonkers, you need to put a stop to this now. How long have you lived next door to each other. Are they like this with others in the road?

SeptemberAlexandra · 23/01/2021 19:02

Never mind changing passwords and phone numbers. I’d be moving house and specifically stating having no board outside the property.

Your neighbours sound as though they’ve decided they are your best friends and will be expecting you to justify your movements hence why they queried your mother visiting. To catch you out they have the camera. Even if they are joking as they say, they are clearly getting a kick out of making you feel uncomfortable. This will not stop be asking them nicely. Huge red flags are waving here.

CakeRequired · 23/01/2021 19:06

If they have actually got something to monitor your Internet access, that's illegal. I doubt they have, but either way I'd be calling the police and telling them to search the house for anything.

I'm surprised you're not reacting more to this. You don't seem to be bothered. Confused

Stars90 · 23/01/2021 19:07

@Bookworming - we have lived here 2 years now, but they have lived here around 6.

I have blinds there to restrict view, in not sure how much their likely to see.

What I meant with internet, they told me they have software to by access anyone’s internet without passwords.
I contacted my internet provided this morning to put a block on unknown devices. I just don’t understand why anyone would be interested in doing this, seems a lot of hassle to go to.

I think I will contact citizens advice and see what they advice, or would a community officer be better in these circumstances?

OP posts:
Stars90 · 23/01/2021 19:10

I am bothered, I’m uncomfortable.
I know a lot have cameras I wasn’t sure what was legal and illegally regarding this.

I contacted my internet provider as soon as the internet statement was made, I have questioned a lot about this, but the neighbours didn’t seem to have must to justify

OP posts:
theblackparade · 23/01/2021 19:10

Jesus Christ, if this is real you need to call the police, and grow a backbone!

CakeRequired · 23/01/2021 19:10

There are lots of tools/software they could be using to hack WiFi. But they would have to know what they are doing, and it's still illegal. You can only do that if you're an ethical hacker/pen tester and have permission to do it. They have not got that, it's illegal.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 23/01/2021 19:13

Stars did you read my link to the ICO regulations for CCTV?

SAR them and let them know that their CCTV is intrusive and illegal and they must stop!

lovelemoncurd · 23/01/2021 19:14

This is reminiscent of a few creepy films.

Get out while you can!