Neighbour behaviour

[Stars90]

Name changed for this.

AIBU think this is odd behaviour...

I have very friendly neighbours, all of which I’d say are ‘too friendly’ there’s a couple imperticular which come across as too in your face.
Ie, messaging everyday, asking to come over at least 4 times a week not considering lockdown neither, in the last 6 months they have gone out of their way to get a bigger car more or less a mini bus for ‘day trips’ with us, this has never been spoke about just assumed, they also have cameras pointing directly onto our property, in a safety manor we agreed this was ok at the beginning, but I’ve noticed the camera now pointing more to our window rather than front of the property.
A comment was made the other day, how they claim to have access to our secure internet done through some software they have access too and checking what we have been doing and who we were speaking to, since this comment has been made I feel very uncomfortable and I feel this is very strange, why would they want to be on our wifi when they have their own, why would they want to be watching what we do?
I don’t see these neighbours at all as a threat, their a married couple in their late 40s with children. Ranging from 6-18

I’ve mentioned this to my friend about the situation and she has stated she has a good neighbourly friendship with her neighbour, socially speaking in passing or seeing each other in the garden doing washing ect, but nothing to this extent. Am I being unreasonable to feel concerned about this behaviour? It’s not something I’ve experienced before

FWIW, they're full of crap about the internet (unless they work for MI5 in which case they shouldn't be mentioning it in passing).

The only way to track your internet use is if they were to install software on your devices. Obviously they would have to use your devices to install software on them (unless they've intentionally sent you some sort of phishing scam).

It's possible for internet use to be tracked via the router but they would have to be your router administrator (e.g. if they helped you get your WiFi set up when you first moved using their own computer to connect to your WiFi) to do this. And if you've let your neighbours be the person designated as your router administrator you've got problems of being far too trusting. Source: switchvpn.net/blog/can-wifi-provider-see-your-browsing-history/

They sound utterly paranoid with CCTV and talking about browser history tracking software and all that bollocks, I'd want to move house. Also can you Google street view your street and see if their house is blotted out on street view? That's a good way to find out how paranoid they truly are or if they're just taking the piss out of you.

@NoOneOwnsTheRainbow

FWIW, they're full of crap about the internet (unless they work for MI5 in which case they shouldn't be mentioning it in passing).

The only way to track your internet use is if they were to install software on your devices. Obviously they would have to use your devices to install software on them (unless they've intentionally sent you some sort of phishing scam).

It's possible for internet use to be tracked via the router but they would have to be your router administrator (e.g. if they helped you get your WiFi set up when you first moved using their own computer to connect to your WiFi) to do this. And if you've let your neighbours be the person designated as your router administrator you've got problems of being far too trusting. Source: switchvpn.net/blog/can-wifi-provider-see-your-browsing-history/

They sound utterly paranoid with CCTV and talking about browser history tracking software and all that bollocks, I'd want to move house. Also can you Google street view your street and see if their house is blotted out on street view? That's a good way to find out how paranoid they truly are or if they're just taking the piss out of you.

This isn't entirely true. There are software tools that will capture packets for you to hack the connection. You don't need to be part of mi5, any pen tester in the world could do this. You don't need to be an administrator either or have any passwords (to begin with, if you're good, you'll get the password). But it's still not legal at all, and I'd be surprised if they actually can do it or bought the products, they generally aren't exactly cheap.

Oh and yeah they are quite clearly crazy. Who even mentions that kind of shit in a conversation casually? 'Hey, how are you, what are you having for dinner? By the way I'm hacking your Internet and saw what you were looking at last night, you naughty girl'. Tad bit weird.

Your neighbours are creepy AF

You can get mirror film from ebay to go on the windows so that all they will see is their cameras reflected back.

Have you looked on your router to see what is attached to it? Have you changed the name as well as the password?

@Roussette

Why would you put up with this?

Change your router code so they can't access your broadband.

Ask them very firmly to move the cameras away from your house immediately. If they haven't done that within 24 hours, ask them again and say you will be contacting a solicitor if they don't.

Refuse any trips out or socialising.

Don't answer messages they send.

Keep your distance from them.

How on earth did it get to this point?

This. It is weird.

do you have a husband/ another adult living there with you ?
you sound as if they have picked you out as an easy target.
some people are a threat. and you need to avoid them.
you are being too polite.
don't ask them, tell them. contact police on 101 for advice.
you may need to pay for a solicitor's letter to them re harassment.
OP, are you/ your family originally from another country ?
you need to protect yourself and your home.
it's as if you are letting burglars in and saying please wipe your feet. stand up for yourself. don't discuss anything with them.

That’s honestly very creepy. Who jokes about watching what you do on WiFi and points a camera into your property. I’d get a security camera and point it into there property see how they feel. Start distancing yourself from them they seem very controlling

I think I will contact citizens advice and see what they advice, or would a community officer be better in these circumstances?

No. Just tell them. Or if you don't feel able, ask a relative or friend or partner that can.

To all those people saying... 'move'.... why the hell should the OP move? She hasn't done anything and she hasn't tackled the problem YET

Firstly, once you get paranoid that people are watching you it’s really difficult to get it out of your head and I do think our minds over-exaggerate things.

These neighbours do seem very overly friendly and I would be very uncomfortable about it. It sounded like it gradually became more intrusive and now they’re crossing that line.

I think it’s really important that you decide where your boundaries are and then make sure you stick to them.

You could have asked why they have access to your internet and that you’re not comfortable with that - you don’t need to be rude youre just establishing your boundaries.

At least COVID means you can’t meet up as much so it will be a good excuse to see each other less which you can carry on afterwards.

I live with my partner yes.
The neighbours have been asked, then told.
They have been told again tomorrow. The camera is now moved.

They did start off as overly nice. As friends. It just seemed on their behalf they wanted ‘too much’ involvement.
I don’t understand the internet comment at all, but all details have been changed this morning. Thankfully

@Stars90 if they're tracking your internet, maybe you should google how to kill irritating nosey neighbours! Or places to hide bodies?

Weirdos

Either this is not true, or you are the biggest pushover I’ve ever heard of in my life. I can’t imagine any single person in the world not flipping their shit at this level of intrusion from neighbours. Sorry but no way.

This is true, unfortunately yes. I’m just too trusting and too nice, I know it’s probably not the best way to be

You need to put up adequate boundaries and not let them overstep.

I've asked a nerd I happen to have available "Is it possible to access a neighbour's internet use without their passwords?" and he says "yes but not trivially. assuming no physical access? break into their wifi, find a vulnerable device, break into that, install monitoring software
-- even then you won't know more than what sites they're visiting (domain name) unless you break into their actual computers, phones, etc. not impossible but it would take a determined effort"

In the matter of the camera, I understand that if it is forty feet away or less, accidentally pointing a laser at a camera for a couple of hours does the camera no good at all.

I have a nasty feeling my nerd thought that I was asking how I should go about it!

Thank you for that information, that’s very reassuring

Is there any chance this could be a joke? You complained about the camera and they joked that they were spying on you. If you had previously been friendly I can imagine how they'd think you'd get the joke. (TBH if they were seriously spying on you why would they tell you?)

I expect they just bought a new car because they wanted a new car. I was thinking of getting one myself and can imagine saying " Now we've got the ABC car it'll be so much easier to pick the kids' friends up from football - and we can maybe do some fun days out when all this lockdown misery is over". It's just one of those things people say. No family buys a car so they can go out with their neighbours. That is ridiculous.

You are clearly uncomfortable OP but just focus on your own life.

Crikey, they sound creepy! I'd pull back from contact with them and get the camera removed.

Citizens advice is not the answer! You need to have this reported to the police through 111 ASAP. They will tell you exactly what’s illegal and what isn’t and if they see fit they will come and assess the situation.

Just because they seem friendly and not a threat doesn’t mean they are. There has been far too many red flags to carry on ignoring it because they seem like nice people. If anyone is trying to have access to you of course they’re going to be “nice”. Hence dv, blackmail etc.

It is illegal for their cameras to be covering anything other than the boundaries of their own property! Not even for watching the neighbourhood. If you live in that rough an area that you feel the need to watch the street then you’d be contacting your local neighbourhood watch and council to have public cameras out up. Take a picture of it whilst it’s facing your property as proof to send in to the police and keep that blind closed!

As for the internet yes some people who are very good with computers will have the intelligence to do this and you did the right thing to secure your devices with your provider.

If these conversations are taking place face to face try and record any interaction with these neighbours to catch anything weird and definitely screenshot and log the messages, everything that seems off to you log it. If anything was to happen, god forbid, you have the evidence needed right away.

Unsure from the post of whether you are in a bought or council/housing association property. If you/neighbour are in social housing I’d definitely make get in touch with the local housing officer who may be able to move them or you and get a restraining order processed.

I think you are feeling intruded on by the camera and you are now taking everything they say the wrong way. Just say you don't want them to point a camera to your house. They won't have bought a new car for your benefit and they won't be hacking into your internet.

It’s not just a camera pointing at my house, it’s coming a cross as tracking my moves, asking where I’m going when I leave, asking who’s just turned up, who’s car is who’s (we have had a new kitchen installed and our support bubble being parents). When they bought a car they made a point of stating the reason it was bought was for trips out with each other we were never asked about this, just assumed this was something we wanted.
And although the internet thing was mentioned that to me seems very weird, as to understanding why someone would make that comment then backtrack it to being a joke?

We do own our house, and the estate we live on is very quiet and pretty new, there’s never been any trouble on our street or close by, so I’m not sure why there’s 6 cameras from one house in all directions, one smack bang directed on our door, another facing directly into our garden from a bedroom window, both have been questioned and we were told this was for ‘safety reasons, incase anyone approached the properties’ this would be understandable if we lived on a horrible roughed up street, but we don’t

Well they sound mental.

It does sound a bit odd. Why do they feel you need this level of support? Are you considered vulnerable in some way? I can only assume they feel protective towards you for some reason & consider you to be better friends than perhaps you do. It certainly seems more than being neighbourly.

I think you need to be a bit careful here, as you live next door, no sensible person wants a neighbour dispute, so I would try & keep things pleasant & friendly. But I would say I didn’t want a camera pointed at my house, my internet used and when the offer of a day out came, I would have plans already. And just step back generally, hopefully they will get the message. Without a the need of a big fall out.

Good luck OP.