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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Either I'm cooking or you are cooking

32 replies

Avonandice · 22/01/2021 19:50

I am going to scream in a minute. Im cooking dinner and 'D'H keeps coming in and helping.

Im boiling potatoes for mash so he NEEDS to come along and give the pot a stir, put the lid on the side and turn down the gas.
Veg - Why do they need to be put on a different ring than the one they are currently on.
Im a grown adult with three kids, worked in kitchens since I left school and so far have managed to feed people without killing them off for the last 35ish years, so WHY does he have to stand over my shoulder and offer 'helpful' advice.

Only helpful advice tonight will be to how to dispose of a body if he carries on.

His help makes me want to belt him with whatever Im holding. If I 'help' when he is cooking he sulks.

Strangly his 'help' never extends to clearing up after.

OP posts:
PlanDeRaccordement · 22/01/2021 19:52

Just have an adult conversation. My family cook together all the time.

Cabinfever10 · 22/01/2021 19:55

Bury him at the bottom of a compost heap it'll cover the smell

ghostyslovesheets · 22/01/2021 19:55

I agree - have an adult calm discussion and get on top of that temper! wanting to hit someone for stirring spuds is a bit OTT.

Winterwoollies · 22/01/2021 19:57

Is he a chef? If not, tell him to piss off.

Hadjab · 22/01/2021 19:58

Serve him up with fava beans and a nice chianti...

HoneysuckIejasmine · 22/01/2021 20:00

I believe the term is "spoony fucker".

Next time he comes in, thank him for taking over and leave.

BornIn78 · 22/01/2021 20:01

“Excellent, you’re taking over? I’ll leave you to it. Your turn to tidy up afterwards too. Give me a shout when it’s ready”.

Pour yourself all glass of wine and leave the kitchen.

Every single time he does it.

MaskingForIt · 22/01/2021 20:03

I “help” my husband in the kitchen. I love that he is patient enough to tolerate me pottering and poking and it means we have a bit of time together.

rowmaccerd · 22/01/2021 20:03

@ghostyslovesheets

I agree - have an adult calm discussion and get on top of that temper! wanting to hit someone for stirring spuds is a bit OTT.
Well, its pretty obvious she isn't actually going to hit him ffs

I agree op. If I am cooking stay out of my kitchen.

Winds me right up when I take something hot out of the oven and the space i had cleared to put it down has been "helpfully" filled with plates while I wasn't looking.

Drives me nuts

Too many cools spoil the broth.

Can't believe people have told you to get on top of your temper Confused

LegendDairy · 22/01/2021 20:04

You have a spoony fucker.

You're allowed to kill them.

KeyboardWorriers · 22/01/2021 20:05

@BornIn78

“Excellent, you’re taking over? I’ll leave you to it. Your turn to tidy up afterwards too. Give me a shout when it’s ready”.

Pour yourself all glass of wine and leave the kitchen.

Every single time he does it.

This is what I do Grin
FoxtrotOscarPoppet · 22/01/2021 20:05

YANBU.

In this house only one of us cooks at any one time. The other one stays out of the kitchen.

Plussizejumpsuit · 22/01/2021 20:06

@HoneysuckIejasmine

I believe the term is "spoony fucker".

Next time he comes in, thank him for taking over and leave.

Was wondering if anyone was going to beat me to it! "

He is a spoony fucker

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 22/01/2021 20:06

DH and I agreed that whoever is cooking is essential "head chef" because otherwise we get on top of each other and timings go to pot (excuse the pun!)

Every time he leaves a lid off/turns down the heat/moves a pot tell him to put it back. Or ask him if he's cooking. He will say no which you respond with well leave the food alone.

Adults are perfectly able to be in the same room to keep each other company without interfering with the activity if they are not actually helping.

Fluffingheck · 22/01/2021 20:08

Mine does exactly the same. Sat on the stairs and told me how to make risotto the other night, while putting his running shoes on. Regularly interferes, but never ever asks if I want any help. Makes me stabby.

Original poster
Avonandice · 22/01/2021 20:10

Im not actually going to wallop him, his 'help' is not actually help its more undoing what I've just done. I know why he is like it - his mother is like it so christmas has been fun in the past. He is used to cooking for his family so 5 people max - me I'm used to 140 covers so tend to go into kitchen mode when Im cooking.

He knows I'm slighlty narked so he handed me a glass of wine and buggered off.

Never normally gets to me too much but am having PMT rages so that is helping (not)

OP posts:
Daphnise · 22/01/2021 20:11

People who do this are an absolute bloody nuisance.

ouchmyfeet · 22/01/2021 20:32

I have a fucking spoony fucker too Angry

It's true, you are allowed to murder them

BackBoiler · 22/01/2021 20:34

I have one of these pan pokers. Drives me mad too! 🤣

Original poster
Avonandice · 22/01/2021 20:39

If he broke my Kenwood it would be the end of him. And he is an engineer, maybe its an engineer thing?

OP posts:
FenEel · 22/01/2021 20:39

I am completely with you, and I have in the past said “well this is clearly your cooking now so crack on with it” and gone and done something else. Notably when he added a stock cube to my bolognese. I don’t particularly want to cook, so if he isn’t doing anything else and wants to do it, then do it. If not, then go away.

lookingsusbro · 22/01/2021 20:58

Dh has form for this and it pisses me off no end. He's also an engineer so you might be on to something.

Dh is a rubbish cook, which he fully acknowledges, but he can't see a pan without stiring it, usually when I've just stirred it and it needs to be left alone. Mostly it's just irritating but he never stirs gently/lightly and has turned many a stew into mushy soup from vigorous unnecessary stiring.

That said, for all his spoony fuckery he values his life enough not to add anything to the pan, remove lids or turn down the heat unless I ask.

BackBoiler · 22/01/2021 23:12

Loving all the pan poking pricks out there Grin

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