Either I'm cooking or you are cooking

[Avonandice]

I am going to scream in a minute. Im cooking dinner and 'D'H keeps coming in and helping.

Im boiling potatoes for mash so he NEEDS to come along and give the pot a stir, put the lid on the side and turn down the gas.
Veg - Why do they need to be put on a different ring than the one they are currently on.
Im a grown adult with three kids, worked in kitchens since I left school and so far have managed to feed people without killing them off for the last 35ish years, so WHY does he have to stand over my shoulder and offer 'helpful' advice.

Only helpful advice tonight will be to how to dispose of a body if he carries on.

His help makes me want to belt him with whatever Im holding. If I 'help' when he is cooking he sulks.

Strangly his 'help' never extends to clearing up after.

Spoony fucker.
Infuriating.
Nobody seems to take over when I'm cleaning the loo or mopping the floor I notice.

@HoneysuckIejasmine

I believe the term is "spoony fucker".

Next time he comes in, thank him for taking over and leave.

There's a term for it??

I had an ex like this. As I say, he's an ex

@Eekay

Spoony fucker. Infuriating. Nobody seems to take over when I'm cleaning the loo or mopping the floor I notice.

That's a damn good point, no "help" for the distasteful jobs, plenty of "help" for the showy stuff. Spoony fuckers, all of them.

You are allowed to kill spoony fuckers. It's written in the law.

My ex used to sneakily add ingredients to my cooking when I left it unattended. Once we were eating a curry I'd made and he slyly asked if I liked the taste. A little confused I said 'yes, obviously, that's why I made it?' At which he triumphantly declared he'd added some ginger to the curry when I went out of the room and now the curry tasted much better than when I usually made it.

Did he expect the pure volcanic fury that suddenly erupted all over him? No.
Did he ever fuck with my food again? Also no.

A very foodie couple I know decide who is "chef" and who is "sous-chef" for each meal. Heads off all manner of potential conflict at the pass.

DP tells me off for interfering with his cooking... I realised over Xmas, as my mother hovered over me to supervise me making the trifle, that I get it from her!! Apparently I could not be trusted to make it correctly, even though I'm 39 and a perfectly competent cook!