To wonder what has bothered DH?

[ChocolateSantaisthebestkind]

Can I get some perspectives on this please folks? Not sure if it's just lockdown grump or if I need to probe about it.

Just had a chat with DH about watching a film tonight and he suggested The Legend of Tarzan. I said, 'good call, the lovely Alexander Skarsgard is always a yes from me and afterwards, maybe we can T&J ourselselves'

In a real huff he answered, 'Oh, you're turned on by the thought of him, but I suppose I'll have to do.'

Now we have not had a row or a 'not tonight' moment recently, so I can't understand it. It's made me feel a bit tearful actually. AIBU?

He might be having a down day - has gained some lockdown weight maybe? Or feels a bit rubbish in general at the moment?
If he already feels self-conscious then your comment might have just irked him.
I'd leave him to it, and perhaps pick another film to watch tonight!

Thanks Frosty, I haven't noticed any weight, but maybe he has. Will defo pick another film!

If my DH made a remark like that, I would conclude that he was feeling a bit down, possibly about himself, and needed some love and attention. Yes, in an ideal world people would politely and reasonably articulate their needs openly and not make passive-aggressive pleas for attention - but this ain't an ideal world, and people aren't perfect, so I can see DH (or me!) making a huffy plaintive comment if feeling a bit grumpy or unloved. In either case, cuddles and talking would ensue.

Would you be okay if he said something similar about wanting sex after watching a film with an actress he was particularly attracted to?

Well, I wouldn't be too impressed if my DH implied he was revved up by the thought of another woman

I think you have an apology to make.

@ChocolateSantaisthebestkind

Thanks Frosty, I haven't noticed any weight, but maybe he has. Will defo pick another film!

He will be fine - try not to let his mood ruin your Friday (although that is easier said than done). If ever me and DH have an argument like this I keep out of his way until the dust settles.

His feelings were hurt, and you're the one feeling tearful? Are you always so self-absorbed?

Yeah that would be fine @AnneLovesGilbert

I know that @sadpapercourtesan, it just nipped me, because that's what I was trying to do!

@Plexie are you serious?!

Really @AnyFucker? Not being goady can I ask why? It's not like I said 'Oh yes! That movie makes me able to shag you' It was just a way of saying I fancied some sex, with DH obviously.

@ChocolateSantaisthebestkind I agree with @AnyFucker - would you feel loved and special of you just were suggesting a movie to watch and your DH said oh yeah scarlet johansson really turns me on and after I watch her in the movie I’ll get my end off with you.

Sorry I agree with @Plexie

Gosh, sorry OP but I'm with your DH. That would upset me too. I don't think I'm too sensitive, although I do have some body issues but don't mind if DH mentions an actress is pretty or whatever but I think it's the enthusiasm for watching it for that reason and then sex after. Would bother me a bit.

Well, I am surprised I thought T&J obviously fancy each other rotten, so it was just a silly innuendo, to me.

@SantatizerI felt tearful and went to the loo, DH hasn't seen it. Have you never been nipped by an unexpected reaction?

@SantatizerI felt tearful and went to the loo, DH hasn't seen it. Have you never been nipped by an unexpected reaction?

@ChocolateSantaisthebestkind it’s not the Tarzan and Jane bit it’s the oh yes bit

It's not like I said 'Oh yes! That movie makes me able to shag you

In the context you describe it, that is exactly the way I would take it.

Alexander is certainly very hot. I know my husband is rather partial to Kylie Minogue. Who is my total opposite in looks, personality and pretty much everything.

If he implied watching her made him feel like shagging me my libido where he was concerned would leave the building.

which oh yes bit?

Don’t see anything wrong with what you’ve said to be honest, sort of jokey comment I make to DP often but at the same time if I knew it had upset him I’d apologise in a heartbeat. Go and make up with him you can still have a lovely evening

I think I would feel a bit put out if my DH said something like that to me, sorry! Even though you didn't mean it that way.
But I can understand you being a bit teary if you've upset your husband, don't know why you were jumped on for that!

Me and my DH make comments about others being attractive etc, all in good humour, and neither of us are easily offended or
Jealous at all - opposite in fact.
But If he told me he wanted to watch something with someone he fancied so he can have sex with me after, I'd be raging.
I really think you're in the wrong crying when you made him feel shit about himself. You went too far, apologise, pick another film and make him a nice dinner to say sorry maybe! Or a takeaway - try salvage the night x

Really, glad I asked for prespective now, because it was not the intention!

It's using the actors name. If you'd just said Tarzan and Jane, great.
Ooh actor x, I'd do him... not quite the same.