To give a drug addict the money??

[SpicyEnchiladas]

When I finished the grocery shopping this morning, a young lady followed me to my car and asked politely for a pound to get some milk. She said that she lost £100 yesterday and she has nothing in her wallet. Stereotypically, she ticks every box of a drug addict: damaged skin, teeth, smell, shaking hands ...etc.

I gave her a fiver and told her that I hope it can help her. She thanked me and walked away. Not to the supermarket though! I carried on packing up everything in the car boot, then received a long call so I was a bit late to leave the car park. When I turned my car outside I saw her standing next to a young man and they were both smoking and laughing.

My husband said that if it happened next time I shouldn’t give them the money as I’m helping them with their habit. He suggested to go to the supermarket and get her some food instead. I don’t agree with him, I feel it’s humiliating for them and quite patronising. AIBU?

Op you did a kind thing.

I always give money. It's not up to me to judge what anyone does with a mere few quid I've given them.

Imagine being homeless. Really try to see yourself in that situation where you are cold. Always. Scared. Always. You don't feel clean. You don't feel any value. Youve slept in a doorway and are wet. You're always hungry.
I think I'd be drinking or doing drugs to get me through the night if I was in that position.

Playnoh you can hate the attitude as much as you like. We are all different and I certainly wouldn't give a beggar money whether I suspected they were going to buy drugs or not.

I'd say the fear lying there completely exposed makes the heroin seem like a welcome distraction. Some people are absolutely vile to homeless people, kicking them while they sleep, destroying their tents, we should all be doing a bit more to help, if you don't agree with giving money warm socks and a scarf would be appreciated.
Homelessness 2021 is worse than ever.

You're an absolute mug for doing that

Oh and have a quick google of 'county lines' and think about what you could well be contributing to

Why on earth is everyone assuming this lady was homeless? The OP didn't say anything about her being homeless. A lot of people pulling things out of thin air here...

You don't have to be homeless to beg and you don't have to beg to be homeless.

I will never forget how it hot me when i read an article from a mother of one of these where she explained that to want to get help they need to hit rock bottom. But they can't do it when people keep them just above it by giving them change and stuff.

I give to local homeless charity, not to beggars ( these are most of the time not the same thing)

Can I suggest you donate to a more worthy cause?

A drug charity if you want. She lied and spent it on drugs; yes that's her choice but your money could be so helpful at the moment to foodbanks, hospices, etc etc. Don't waste it on funding someone's drug habit.

Your husband is right.

If you pay for an addict's drugs you are directly enabling harm and damage to a very vulnerable person.

I am so saddened to see people who are homeless. I always think that that person is somebody's son, daughter, sibling, a father or mother. I do sometimes give money. Once my mum and I had been to the theatre and outside there was a young guy sitting on the floor, shaking as if with cold. He looked so hopeless and dejected, we gave him a couple of pound. While we were waiting to be picked up we watched him jump up, cross the road to another lad on the other side of the road, pick up a rucksack and off they strode laughing and joking. That's the only time I've ever been knowingly scammed but I still sometimes give homeless people money as I think the scammers are less common.

It was very kind of you to do that but your husband is right

Better that than sex work.

I give to women and the homeless men I know personally.

@Bbq1

I am so saddened to see people who are homeless. I always think that that person is somebody's son, daughter, sibling, a father or mother. I do sometimes give money. Once my mum and I had been to the theatre and outside there was a young guy sitting on the floor, shaking as if with cold. He looked so hopeless and dejected, we gave him a couple of pound. While we were waiting to be picked up we watched him jump up, cross the road to another lad on the other side of the road, pick up a rucksack and off they strode laughing and joking. That's the only time I've ever been knowingly scammed but I still sometimes give homeless people money as I think the scammers are less common.

You don't usually see the homeless. These are beggars. It's a job basically for many

Always give cash. Being homeless is devastating. Let them spend it how they wish. They are adults

If they're genuinely homeless I will gladly give them a fiver and they can spend it on whatever the they want, I couldn't care less.

I always think, if I was in their shoes I'd definitely need something to give me a little cheer. I drink and I have a lovely warm house, work and enough money so why shouldn't they have a drink.
Addiction is horrible and very difficult to break, especially if you have no help.

@WouldstrokeTomHardy

Always give cash. Being homeless is devastating. Let them spend it how they wish. They are adults

Exactly! If I was homeless Im sure I’d turn to booze or worse

I've worked in homeless charities... All human life is on the streets....

Everyone from the divorced dad who's low on housing list, to the county lines runner, to the teenager who is safer on the streets than at home.

There is very high serious drug use... Yes if I was down and homeless I would be so fed up if want to get out of my head. ...

But by giving money are you giving them dignity? ... Nope...

Youre just giving the means to kill themselves, often with dangerous street drugs cut with shit, and support awful drug networks. Which encourage young kids to be their runners.

Give the money to homeless charities... Or volunteer for your soup kitchen.

You’re not going to fix a habit by refusing a fiver.

I completely agree.

@IamtheDevilsAvocado

I've worked in homeless charities... All human life is on the streets....

Everyone from the divorced dad who's low on housing list, to the county lines runner, to the teenager who is safer on the streets than at home.

There is very high serious drug use... Yes if I was down and homeless I would be so fed up if want to get out of my head. ...

But by giving money are you giving them dignity? ... Nope...

Youre just giving the means to kill themselves, often with dangerous street drugs cut with shit, and support awful drug networks. Which encourage young kids to be their runners.

Give the money to homeless charities... Or volunteer for your soup kitchen.

Absolutely this

If you give money to a homeless person then it's up to them how they spend it. But honestly, you're not gonna massively change their life whether you are buying a sandwich/ bottle of milk for them OR giving them a fiver.

More valuable than either of these things would be to set up a monthly donation to a local homelessness charity. They are the ones who will be able to really engage with and support rough sleepers in ways that matter.

I usually give them what they ask for, if they ask for food I buy food, if not then I give money. Yes it might go on drugs, but preferable to going cold turkey while out on the streets.

Giving food without even asking what food they want first to me is infantilising and a power trip.