Would you report this staff member

[Notanotherteenmovie1]

I have posted about her previously. We are on a school rota basis, she commented on how she 'now had some company' when a fellow colleague came into the room and complained about me (I think) outside the door.

I was due to work with her today and I walked in to be asked to work with another group. She was left on her own so I think she requested that I don't work with her today.
This suited me fine as I worked a lot better with the new group and in a more positive and balanced atmosphere.

However today I have overheard her slagging me off on 3 occasions which is absolutely ridiculous and pathetic.

Each time it has been in the canteen and she has done it when I have also been in there. I heard her talk about me to a staff member and the teacher (who I had thought was friendly ) laughed and said 'yeah I had her with my class too'.

On another occasion I heard her complaining "she just comes in and does xyz"

It's made me so angry. She can think whatever she likes about me but hasn't once attempted to speak to me if she has an issue. At least do it in a professional way .

Slagging me off to colleagues when I'm in the vicinity is disgusting.
I have requested that I don't work with her again for the half term and they have granted that.

I'm not sure whether to report her, I'm leaving soon and have zero interest in trying to form any sort of bond, I just think she's a nasty piece of work and that's who she is. I've ignored her all day , should I continue to do that or report it ?

[EarringsandLipstick]

And you still haven't said why you don't address your colleague's behaviour with them?

[OppsUpsSide]

I think you should contact your GP, you sound very very stressed.

[isitsafetocomeoutyet]

@Notanotherteenmovie1

Ok.. thanks for your armchair diagnosis. It's a forum where people can post whatever they like and however often they like.

People are trying to help you. But with your avoidance of questions you make it harder. Jumping down people's throats here doesn't help.

You've only now just revealed you don't even know what the woman said. You didn't hear xyz.

But on a previous thread you've mentioned being put on an informal support plan so clearly there are other things at play here.

Im going to ask it again. What did you say to your line manager about why you didn't want to work with her? Why haven't you approached her yourself to address this?

[Seasaltyhair]

Report it. Its toxic behaviour and should be taken lightly.

[user1174147897]

Your description of the classroom discipline incident on this thread is very different to how you described it on another thread.

Anyway, is it more professional to post all this stuff on a public forum where the people involved can recognise themselves?

[Notanotherteenmovie1]

..I didn't give the manager a reason because I don't have to.
Next, this is a forum where people tend to post about problems. I've posted about 2 colleagues out of 100 and 2 friends out of various. I am fairly new on here and want to get opinions on stuff.

[Notanotherteenmovie1]

It's an anonymous forum. You could literally apply that to everybody who posts on here about their DP, family etc.

[PuckyMup]

If you have issues with a majority of people you interact with, odds are the common denominator strangely isn’t likely to be them

You come across (intentionally or not) very rude and defensive to people who are trying to politely point this out. You’re right, it is an anonymous forum so people can only work with the info given. And rightly or wrongly that’s the impression you’re providing - from the information and replies they can see. If you want (need?) different answers, provide different information and frame it in a different way

[1Morewineplease]

With all due respect, it sounds like you're the common denominator in these scenarios.
Do you feel like you are completely blameless?
It might be worth your while taking some time out and analysing these situations, so that you can move forward.

[isitsafetocomeoutyet]

@Notanotherteenmovie1

..I didn't give the manager a reason because I don't have to.
Next, this is a forum where people tend to post about problems. I've posted about 2 colleagues out of 100 and 2 friends out of various. I am fairly new on here and want to get opinions on stuff.

Why didn't you?

That's the perfect time to say why you don't want to work with her? The manager didn't ask?

I'm trying to look at this as a whole. It's extremely useful to see your other posts.

It's very easy to post you're being bullied at work to get validation from strangers. However I'm asking you to look at this from a wider perspective. You seem to have issues with various friends as well in the very short time you've been on mumsnet.

Why don't you raise your issues with the woman yourself? Aren't you doing what she's supposedly doing by not talking to her yourself? What do the other colleagues say about it?

[Rollmopsrule]

This workplace sounds very toxic. If you have some learning points and don't we all, it should be broached in a professional manner. Never should a colleague be slagging you off in a canteen and within ear shot - horrible behaviour! I think you should say should something to her face. Prepare in advance and tell her how a professional is expected to behave, If she continues report. Good luck Op. Not long left there

[AccidentallyOnPurpose]

@Notanotherteenmovie1

..I didn't give the manager a reason because I don't have to.
Next, this is a forum where people tend to post about problems. I've posted about 2 colleagues out of 100 and 2 friends out of various. I am fairly new on here and want to get opinions on stuff.

Has she talked to you in person before about whatever issues she might have? What is not working, why.. what you should change etc?

[Rose789]

I could not imagine any workplace that would allow a staff member to request not to work with someone and not be asked for a reason.
If I heard a colleague talking about me I would speak to them and see what the issue is. If I had a colleague that didn’t want to work with me I would be speaking to my line manager and requesting honest feedback. I would take the feedback and make relevant changes.
Yes your colleague should have approached you if they had an issue but judging by this thread alone it seems as though you don’t react well to criticism no matter how well intentioned. Maybe she has tried to approach you previously about issues and you haven’t been receptive and she’s given up.

[Notanotherteenmovie1]

The colleague has never approached me once. She's never properly spoken to me before. I accept criticism, not being told I have issues though.

[cunningartificer]

If you couldn’t hear what your colleague was saying, how do you know it was unpleasant? Or about you? Not every comment made about you is necessarily negative as well. I do wonder if you’re slightly jumping to conclusions.

[isitsafetocomeoutyet]

@Notanotherteenmovie1

The colleague has never approached me once. She's never properly spoken to me before. I accept criticism, not being told I have issues though.

But you're on a support plan so someone has spoken to you? What were the issues raised? Were they specific to this person or wider?

And I agree with Pp, I could never say I don't want to work with someone without giving a reason. It's ridiculous. Not having a valid reason makes you look childish. And perhaps that's also part of the problem. If you're not verbalising your issues people will just think you're being awkward.

[Gazelda]

@NoOneOwnsTheRainbow

I had the jury out on yesterday's snapshot and said you might be the victim of politics, but today you are showing your true colors in the way you speak to other posters. You can't take feedback. You take it as a personal attack. God knows how you qualified. And I suspect your colleagues don't expect silence at all times, that's preposterous, I think you can't recognize the fact that you can't control your classes and you're rewriting what happened to make yourself look good which is why it doesn't add up. No wonder you're on a support plan.
Please get out of teaching for the sake of the kids. And never have any.

You should apologise for the last sentence of this post. Completely uncalled for.

[Notanotherteenmovie1]

"Grazelda " that is a disgusting, nasty and bizarre reply, luckily I know it's not true. You've been reported.

[Notanotherteenmovie1]

So sorry not Grazelda, I meant @nooneownstherainbow.

[isitsafetocomeoutyet]

@Notanotherteenmovie1

"Grazelda " that is a disgusting, nasty and bizarre reply, luckily I know it's not true. You've been reported.

To be fair I do worry about the children in your charge.

What was raised in your support plan? Were they specific to this woman or wider?

[Bandino]

If you're leaving soon I'd probably just leave it. Some people are not very nice. They bully because they're inadequate themselves.

[Notanotherteenmovie1]

"to be fair" I worry about people like you too.

[isitsafetocomeoutyet]

@Notanotherteenmovie1

"to be fair" I worry about people like you too.

Why?

You've ignored all my questions.

I'm trying to help you.

But you have problems with a lot of people. And the way you've reacted on this board has been eye opening.

[Ispini]

Outrageous OP! I’m a teacher and have been subject to this level of bullying. I really feel for you.
Don’t let it go, be brave, put your big girl pants on and best of luck. 💐💐