To think it's still a hobby without a group?

[OchreBlue]

DH has told me I don't have any hobbies because I don't do anything with other people (in person or online). I thought I had lots of hobbies: gardening-i have an allotment, bird/nature watching and photography (I don't share the photos online or anything), reading, swimming, art and painting. But is he right? Do people think of these as just interests, that only properly develop into hobbies once you start joining groups, competing/cooperating, sharing knowledge etc.? Are hobbies inherently social? If they can be carried out alone do hobbies still need an element of comparison to others, such as knowing how good your score/level/knowledge is compared to others or is it still a hobby if you just enjoy it for what it is, on your own?

YABU: hobbies are social
YANBU: hobbies can be solitary

Of course he isn't right.

There are countless hobbies that are by their nature solitary.

Sorry I can't see the option for "your DH is obviously an idiot".

By that definition Mumsnetting is a hobby.

My hobbies include Lego, reafing and having a sneaky go with DDs craft stuff like Hama beads.

@JiltedJohnsJulie

Sorry I can't see the option for "your DH is obviously an idiot".

I would have clicked that option too.

Er, I sew. It takes up plenty of time, space, money and equipment so I definitely think of it as a hobby even though I do it alone.
So, YADNBU in my opinion

My friend is an absolutely amazing crocheter - way WAY beyond granny squares. Her pieces look like works of art. Don’t tell me it’s not her hobby just because she doesn’t do it in a group

Obviously he's wrong, but is he suggesting you're a bit isolated?
Or is it saying that you're lucky as your non-hobbies haven't been cancelled due to Covid?

My allotment is REALLY social! Too much so, sometimes!

i have never liked groups of people, a hobby ,or hobbies, are personal things for me. One of my interests,is doing up old furniture, so don't wan't other people around me.

Your DH has a strange idea of the definition of hobby. A genuine concern that you meet very few people would be reasonable, but you don't need to be doing that via a hobby or interest necessarily.

He is so wrong????

All my hobbies are individual, and I’ve never been in groups for them.

Another 'your husband is an idiot' vote.
Please show him this thread.

None of my hobbies include other people! I probably wouldn't do them if they did!
I crochet, sew, embroider, make cards, scrapbook, read, make jewellery. All solitary.

How ridiculous of him. Of course, solitary pursuits are hobbies.

I hope he’s not a DH who prioritises his hobbies and considers his time more important than yours because he has to do things in a pack.

Just pressing "husband is a fool for needing to have his interests validated by others" button...

Just pressing "husband is a fool for needing to have his interests validated by others" button.

Damn, I missed that button too

@OchreBlue

YANBU.

Also, I fucking HATE hobby groups.

I used to join them some years ago, and they were very cliquey. Many people there had come in twos and threes too, so I was alone in my corner, by myself, while the little groups of friends chatted and kept themselves to themselves.

A hobby group is meant to be a way to make friends, but I never found that was true at all.

I have made friends since, and am still friends with a couple of people I have known for many years, but I never made new friends at any hobby groups. They are not for me at all.......

MUCH prefer to do my hobbies alone - and occasionally with DH.

I enjoy walking, but shudder at the thought of joining a walking group. Not least because I like to walk at my own pace, and sometimes stop for 10 minutes just to look at the views/take photos etc.

Same with cycling. I enjoy it, but would never join a cycling group.

Same with cycling. I enjoy it, but would never join a cycling group.

Oh, wait for it. I bet the DH is a cyclist and in a cycling group so he has an important "proper" hobby which trumps any of the OP's interest.

Betcha!

Direct your silly DH to literally ANY dictionary and he'll send that the definition is a pastime, outside of work, done for pleasure.
No mention of groups.

Oh these responses are reassuring I was feeling a bit sad my hobbies didn't count. Yes, the pp who said this, I didn't want to say as I know it's a cliche but he wants to go back to his regular boardgaming/roleplaying group (not cycling!) After lockdown and it lasts all evening into the night each week, so I was wondering when my time off a week is to do my hobbies while he watches the kids and sorts the bedtimes. But since he pointed out my hobbies don't count as I have no group to share them with I felt like my argument was lacking. I will direct him to this thread! I am a total loner, sometimes I'm happy with it, sometimes like this I feel it's like my life doesn't count unless it's spent with other people.

YANBU. In fact, until I started reading MN, I would not have thought of a lot of group based and sporty activities as "hobbies" - I've always associated the word more with collecting things and crafts.

@TheSpottedZebra that's interesting that your allotment is social, I did think mine might be but other than the occasional hello as I pass people it hasn't turned out to be. I think it's my nature though, I do avoid the busy times, I like to get absorbed, sort of mindful, when I'm gardening.

Oh well your update puts a different spin on it. He’s basically just bullshitting his way through an argument that allows him to justify why his hobby should come first when lockdown finishes. Selfish gaslighter..

I remember having a discussion with my ex about this. I have ridden and owned horses for more than 35 years but only currently ride maybe 3 times a year due to various circumstances but still handle horses weekly. Apparently that's not my hobby yet his is badminton. I've known him 7 years and he NEVER played badminton in that time. I think he just had the occasional game when a friend was playing. Coming out with that kind of nonsense is an example of why he's an ex. Not sure what the mentality behind it is. Anyway YANBU - he is!

Yanbu

My dh is the same, he thinks it doesn't count unless it's social and out of the house.