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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Be honest. Have you sent your kids to school when they could have stayed at home?

557 replies

Witchcraftandhokum · 19/01/2021 17:02

I left my job in education before Christmas mostly because of the governments appalling response to Covid in schools and anti-teacher sentiment generally so I haven't really got a vested interest. But I'm curious, after speaking to my ex-colleagues and friends who work in other schools there seems to be a dramatic take-up on the offer of places for vulnerable students and children of Key-workers compared to the last lockdown.

The numbers in my old school during the last lockdown made it hardly worth opening the school, this time they're at capacity and are having to bring extra staff in at a risk to themselves. In my friend's child's class there are 21 out of 32 currently attending.

What's going on?

OP posts:
GonnaBeYoniThisChristmas · 19/01/2021 21:16

Would love to hear from anyone who has forced their employer to give furlough on basis of childcare needs (which I understand is something you can request)

CurlyS · 19/01/2021 21:17

I'm sure people on here would say we are being unreasonable in our situation.

Both of my step children's parents work outside of the home, key worker. I'm at home, I'm not working but I'm days from giving birth so they are in school based on their parents meeting the criteria for a space 🤷

ZenNudist · 19/01/2021 21:17

I have.

I haven't really. I'm not allowed. If I was allowed id have mine in like a shot.

Boulshired · 19/01/2021 21:19

The last time furlough seemed a great idea this time furlough for many is seen as volunteering for redundancy. 90% of the furlough workers never came back in DPs firm. People this time want to keep their jobs and many are scared that any lack of performance will put them closer to the door. Even private firms who are doing well are making the most of streamlining their staff. I can see many in the private sector having to make different decisions this time. When it’s over people will not care who is being repossessed or evicted as they never do.

Useruseruserusee · 19/01/2021 21:21

No. We are two key workers here and our children are at home.

DH only works three days a week but teaches live from home all day. I work full time but can complete some of work at the evening and weekends so I have shifted my working pattern.

We live in an area that was at the top of the list for infection rates over Christmas.

Jolie12345 · 19/01/2021 21:22

@ZenNudist

I have.

I haven't really. I'm not allowed. If I was allowed id have mine in like a shot.

Grin
Snaketime · 19/01/2021 21:23

Yes. I am a key worker, but my husband is furloughed. My DD is currently in the process of being diagnosed with ADHD, she doesn't do well with remote learning and I emailed the school and told them that and explained about the home situation and they told me she could go to school and they would see her in the morning, so I sent her.

SalemsPot22 · 19/01/2021 21:25

Yep! We’re both key workers but we both have a day off in the week. We send DD in to school because we get to have a day to ourselves and also because when asked, she would rather be in school with her friends.

Jolie12345 · 19/01/2021 21:27

@SalemsPot22

Yep! We’re both key workers but we both have a day off in the week. We send DD in to school because we get to have a day to ourselves and also because when asked, she would rather be in school with her friends.
This one’s got to be a joke though?
elliejjtiny · 19/01/2021 21:28

I was offered spaces but turned them down. I'm a sahm and the dc are happier and safer (from covid) at home anyway. From what I've seen on zoom there are about 2-6 children in school per class.

Brown76 · 19/01/2021 21:28

Lots of people have already had Covid now, so there’s no personal risk to them.
Children and under 40s won’t be vaccinated for months/ever so again, we are going to be exposed sooner than later.
It was more scary in March, we’ve learned to live with Covid.
We’ve been told to ignore the risk to get back to work, eat out to help out etc so this has also made it hard to now feel so concerned.
Patents are struggling to get workplaces to furlough them.
Parents are falling behind with their careers, businesses. Savings are gone.
Resilience and morale are low.
Parents are worried about their children falling behind.
We are facing months and months of this, and even those worried about Covid doubt their ability to cope.

Talcott2007 · 19/01/2021 21:32

I could send reception aged DD in but haven't - DH is classed as a keyworker (within the financial services industry but able to WFH) I am on MAT Leave right now with DD2 so it didn't seem right we are able to keep her home although it is difficult - School contacted us to offer DD1 a place if we needed it as they consider our family 'vulnerable' owing to the fact that DD2 has a congenital heart defect and will require OHS within the next few months. I'd say about a 1/3 of her class are still attending currently

SalemsPot22 · 19/01/2021 21:34

Not sure why that would be a joke.

LizFlowers · 19/01/2021 21:36

Brown76 Tue 19-Jan-21 21:28:49
Lots of people have already had Covid now, so there’s no personal risk to them.
...
How come those who have had the virus are still being advised to have a vaccination?

JackyReacher · 19/01/2021 21:36

Yes. DH is a KW. I’m a SAHM. Asked school if a place was available and was very surprised when they said Yes without question. There are only 7 in DS’s class including him, out of 30, so I don’t feel guilty at all! He is really happy he’s going and he’s had the virus so little risk to him or others.

Jolie12345 · 19/01/2021 21:39

@SalemsPot22

Not sure why that would be a joke.
Just surprised you’re admitting to sending your child to school to have a day off to yourselves. That’s taking the whole thing a step further. It’s causing anger that people are using school places to allow them to work from home in peace. I imagine it’s even more frowned upon if you are watching Netflix or reading a book. Not saying I wouldn’t be tempted myself, just a brave thing to say Smile
Di11y · 19/01/2021 21:42

DH and I are both working from home with flexible working. School wouldn't take DD (6) in march. DH already has mental health problems, work refused to furlough either of us as local council workers, I ended up on anti depressants and he's now under the community mental health team.

We sent her this time. Technically we could have kept her home. But she she's on a support plan (possible ADHD) and needs huge amounts of encouragement and support to do any work without it being a massive fight.

blackheartsgirl · 19/01/2021 21:45

I'm sending dd3 10 back on Thursday. I qualify as a critical worker..surprisingly..but I've kept her off up to now as my dd1 18 was at home to look after her. Shes not here herself at the moment now so dd1 will be on her own with dd2 13..recipe for disaster.

I work outside the home and struggling now

Riojasmoothy · 19/01/2021 21:45

Don't you just love a holier than thou mumsnet thread.

Findahouse21 · 19/01/2021 21:45

Depends on your situation. Could dd(6) stay home - technically yes as dh works from home. However we are both critical workers and she woukd have the very very minimal of supervision, interaction or support with school work. Maybe 20 or 30 mins during the day. So we have done what we felt safest and rearranged both our diaries to do long days, but her be in school for 2 of them.

Riojasmoothy · 19/01/2021 21:46

@Brown76 absolutely spot on.

blackheartsgirl · 19/01/2021 21:49

16GonnaBeYoniThisChristmas

Would love to hear from anyone who has forced their employer to give furlough on basis of childcare needs (which I understand is something you can request)

Yes I did in my last job. I was working 12 hour shifts in manufacturing and because I wasn't classed as a key worker I couldn't send dd3 to school..so I really struggled. I asked for furlough as did some others but I was made redundant in October. I have another job now but I'm now a keyworker

LadyPenelope68 · 19/01/2021 21:55

@Hippywannabe
For over 20 years, I have done more than contracted to do both in my job and extra curricular activities. When this is over, my goodwill finishes. No more clubs after school, no more lunchtime activities, no more school fairs, no more of any of the unpaid things. I was finally pushed over the edge today as a parent pushed their child towards me, telling me that it was her day off and she wanted an actual day off. A huge thank you to all the parents struggling to cope but keeping their kids at home. You are doing an amazing job, your teachers and tas know that and appreciate it
Totally agree with this, my goodwill has also ended. Like you, one comment finally pushed me over the edge - a parent dropping off saying she was so looking forward to a day in her own having a long bath and catching up on Netflix.

Thank you to those keeping your children safe at home. Totally happy to have in those vulnerable children and the children of key workers who just send in when they’re working, but there are many taking the piss this time.

LadyPenelope68 · 19/01/2021 21:57

@JackyReacher
Yes. DH is a KW. I’m a SAHM. Asked school if a place was available and was very surprised when they said Yes without question. There are only 7 in DS’s class including him, out of 30, so I don’t feel guilty at all! He is really happy he’s going and he’s had the virus so little risk to him or others.
Well you should feel guilty, you’re a SAHM, you don’t need the place. People like you are just taking the piss.

SendHelp30 · 19/01/2021 21:59

@JackyReacher if your son catches COVID and passes it to you or your KW husband, how would you feel?
If your son caught it and passed it to a member of staff at school who ended up seriously ill, would you feel guilty?

The places are for people who genuinely need it for work. You’re at home doing nothing, keep your child home FFS