Be honest. Have you sent your kids to school when they could have stayed at home?

[Witchcraftandhokum]

I left my job in education before Christmas mostly because of the governments appalling response to Covid in schools and anti-teacher sentiment generally so I haven't really got a vested interest. But I'm curious, after speaking to my ex-colleagues and friends who work in other schools there seems to be a dramatic take-up on the offer of places for vulnerable students and children of Key-workers compared to the last lockdown.

The numbers in my old school during the last lockdown made it hardly worth opening the school, this time they're at capacity and are having to bring extra staff in at a risk to themselves. In my friend's child's class there are 21 out of 32 currently attending.

What's going on?

@Iknowwhatudidlastsummer

Pretty much every child needs to be at school

and every working parent needs them to be at school

and every parent, working or not, needs some space and a bit of free time from the kids.

Again, what happens if we ALL claim our places?

Then many will end up on a waiting list and be disappointed. But if someone is offered a place and all of those needs are met, others should not judge. My child goes to school three days a week. It is best for him and me in many ways. Yes he could stay home but it wouldn’t be what’s best for our family. If everyone makes the same decision, do what’s best for your own family, and the result is that his place is no longer available, I will deal with it. All any of us can do is what we feel is right for our own. And that makes us good parents despite the judgment of others

DH and I are both key workers working from home. 2/3 of our kids are at home, the little one is in school. I suppose that technically he could be at home, but he'd be getting no education whatsoever.

I know of many employers whose staff were at home in the last lockdown, this time around have them in the office because they’ve made the office ‘Covid safe’. They’re less flexible with childcare. Not using furlough. So the employees have little choice if they want to be able to do/keep their jobs than to send their children in!

People who are bending the rules for their own selfish benefit know they are and do so with that fact on their conscience. When a teacher becomes ill or a child takes COVID home to a vulnerable parent, then they will have to live with the fact that they contributed to that without having to. Schools and teachers are being put in an impossible position.

Im not a teacher but have a number of friends who are. Numbers attending this time are way higher than the last time. (eg 10 kids in hub which was 4 schools combined, to now 20 in hub for one school only!)

i would be allowed a place for mine (nursery) but haven't as trying to do the right thing and sort childcare with OH and MIL around my shifts. However seeing the daily photos and updates with everything they are doing at nursery are making me mad as im seeing what my DC is missing out on.

The situation is very different now to last spring.

More businesses open. Less businesses opting to furlough. More serious financial situations. Key worker list bigger. Employers less tolerant.

Not everyone is in a position to stay at home and and juggle work, learning, babies, cooking, cleaning etc etc etc. Some people might be on back to back phone calls. Or have very detailed jobs that can't have any distractions. How are they supposed to fit it all in?

A lot of people on here sound very self righteous about "doing the right thing" and keeping kids at home. Yes that's all well good if you are able to. To others, doing the right thing means having to send their kids to school so they can keep hold of their job and earn money to put food on the table, heat the house, and keep a roof over their kids head.

Not everyone's situation is the same and what is a breeze for one person could be an impossible unworkable nightmare for someone else.

Both mine are in.
DH and I are key workers although I actually work from home 3-4 days a week.
My eldest in secondary has an EHCP and is doing 3 days a week mostly for his sanity.
My youngest yr 5 could go in for just 2 days a week but the school is only offering full time so she has to go in all week (can’t really leave her home alone the days I’m in work). I’m a bit gutted about it to be honest as she has been doing really well at home.
KS1 in our school is rammed (KS2 a bit less) and there seem to be a lot of parents who could manage without schooling but the head is overly generous with places. Don’t know of any cases of misuse in particular though as don’t know enough about what all the parents do but I’m pretty sure 100+ out of 250 kids don’t need to be there!

@Dentistlakes

People who are bending the rules for their own selfish benefit know they are and do so with that fact on their conscience. When a teacher becomes ill or a child takes COVID home to a vulnerable parent, then they will have to live with the fact that they contributed to that without having to. Schools and teachers are being put in an impossible position.

Sending a child to school doesn’t mean they aren’t being extremely careful outside of school.

Sometimes things change. Last time schools were mostly closed I kept my children at home because I was on maternity leave but this time I'm back at work (both of us are key workers) so they've gone to school.
I know it's not exactly what you asked but just suggesting one reason why some parents might have sent their children back.
Talking to a friend though she reckons lots of parents are sending in their children when they don't have to due to fear. Fear that the schools will be closed for months again and they can't work, or look after toddlers and home school for that long.

Doing the right thing by whom exactly?

Also how far exactly do you take 'could have stayed at home'

I mean I'm on the KW lost, can't wfh, but I suppose I could insist that I take parental leave. I wouldn't get paid and I'd be letting down my employer at what is a crucial time.. I suppose I could leave my job and we could survive on Dhs salary until the pandemic is over.

To some on here I'm probably taking the piss.

Mine, year one and year three, are at school. I am wfh in a central government Covid response role. DH also at home in non key role. I have no doubt whatsoever people think I’m taking the piss. What they don’t know is that the eldest has SN which mean that, when removed from routine, she becomes violent and aggressive to her sister placing her at risk. She can’t engage with home learning at all. The school actively encouraged me to send her. They extended the invitation to her sister as well. They have adopted a ceiling of 25pc per year and are not full.

My first point is that we simply do not know the circumstances of people with children at school. Because it is not our business. A fellow parent is having chemo, again not widely known, and an invitation was extended to her as well.

It is all well and good judging but ultimately the school has satisfied itself as to entitlement or vulnerability, exercised discretion if appropriate and that is that.

It’s not really the point but ultimately children will be back in school before the masses are vaccinated. They will never themselves be vaccinated. At some point we will unlock society and accept that people will get ill and die, much like we accept 10,000 flu deaths a year without outcry. So on that basis it will never truly be safe. Vaccines will not be 100pc effective. Not everyone will have a vaccine. I mention this not to somehow justify my decision to send them to school. I’m very comfortable with that. Rather to see it as context to any wider debate about the relative risks of school attendance going forward.

@Je551ca
“ All any of us can do is what we feel is right for our own.”
Except maybe during, idk, a pandemic?

It doesn’t matter how careful you are out of school. Each child attending increases the risk. Not just the risk to teachers, but to genuine key workers who need to be working and not ill. Honestly, why do people think that schools have been closed to what should be the majority of children? Lots of working parents are homeschooling under huge stress. Yes, people should do the right thing, but I suspect lots won’t because they simply don’t care. It’s not about doing what’s best for you. It’s about doing what’s best for everyone.

How very dare anyone expect their children to go to school! The utter cheek of it! Next they'll be expecting jobs and food. Bloody ridiculous.

All children should be hiding at home, with no contact with other humans whatsoever. No child needs to leave their house. What is the world coming to when people expect a life beyond a basic existence for their child?? It's just plain grabby.

[quote Thatusernamewastaken]@Je551ca
“ All any of us can do is what we feel is right for our own.”
Except maybe during, idk, a pandemic?[/quote]
Nope. I’m still looking after my own first I’m afraid. I’m not putting others at risk anymore that I need to. If everyone looked after their own and themselves it wouldn’t be spreading the way it is. Think about it

@BeanCalledPickle too bloody right, the truth is none of these nosey parkers on here know the truth about each persons circumstances.

They just adore having something to tut at and moan about, it makes them feel better about themselves, that they are more righteous.

It absolutely does my head in though that this has boiled down to a set up where some people get to choose “what is best for me and my family” based on what their job is.

KW provision should be to enable someone to do their job because they would not be able to work without it. That’s it.

This thread gives me comfort that we’re not the only KW keeping DC home despite the costs to us all.

Of course there are families where there’s no choice but for children to be in school, for lots of the reasons highlighted on this thread. And that’s fine, and that’s why it’s right that schools have to be open.

But there are lots of others, including plenty I know in real life in situations more or less identical to ours, who are sending kids in because they can. They then get to do their work in peace and within reasonable hours, not having to homeschool or make sure kids get exercise and human contact, having weekends and evenings for family time and housework and who then on top of all those massive benefits want me to agree that they’re doing the right thing because the juggle which is grinding me and my family into the ground somehow wasn’t an option for them.

@TheDailyCarbunkle

How very dare anyone expect their children to go to school! The utter cheek of it! Next they'll be expecting jobs and food. Bloody ridiculous.

All children should be hiding at home, with no contact with other humans whatsoever. No child needs to leave their house. What is the world coming to when people expect a life beyond a basic existence for their child?? It's just plain grabby.

We all want our children in school. We should also all understand why that isn’t the case at the moment and why only those who really need to be there should be attending. Surely people have got it by now?

Yes.

@Dentistlakes

It doesn’t matter how careful you are out of school. Each child attending increases the risk. Not just the risk to teachers, but to genuine key workers who need to be working and not ill. Honestly, why do people think that schools have been closed to what should be the majority of children? Lots of working parents are homeschooling under huge stress. Yes, people should do the right thing, but I suspect lots won’t because they simply don’t care. It’s not about doing what’s best for you. It’s about doing what’s best for everyone.

It’s not that people don’t care. That’s a huge assumption. I care deeply, I want this to be over. As many have said you won’t know individual circumstances and reasons for accepting school places. You may think you do and that’s fine. I don’t care what people think of me. Genuinely fair play for those of you doing it all but for those that can’t take the help that’s offered.

I am not sure why ‘doing the right thing’ is exclusively an obligation on working parents though.
The government did not ‘do the right thing’ when they carved my DH out from getting any financial support.
My employers are not ‘doing the right thing’ by allowing me to access flexi furlough (but will reduce my hours so I bear the financial hit).
My DD’s school governors are not ‘doing the right thing’ by charging full fees for a service that is not the same.
But I am expected to, despite it being to the detriment of my family. When all of the above will not as it will bring detriment to mine.
The burden is not being shared equally here. And sadly since the first lockdown it’s too great a burden for me alone.

No my son has EHCP and they are pressuring him to go in but we are keeping him home as long as possible.

Sorry that should say not allowing me to access flexi furlough

If the government weren’t being so forceful about the mandatory work then there would be less kids in school. But that’s a whole other thread. Literally

2 of my children could have stayed home but are in school on the recommendation of their teachers, I didn’t ask.