AIBU to think this is cheeky? (Property related)

[opinionatedfreak]

We are due to complete on the sale of a family home tomorrow.

The person died so the house is empty.

I’ve just gone round to read the meters and discovered a pile of garden furniture in the back garden.

I’m assuming it belongs to the buyers.

AIBU to think it is cheeky to do this without asking?

YANBU = they are cheeky
YABU = what’s the problem the house will be theirs tomorrow.

It’s very rude and an invasion of your privacy. I would also be upset.

I would have been cross, it’s cheeky and disrespectful. I would tell them too.

Yes it's cheeky - we moved into a probate property, we asked permission to go in and clean the carpets the day before we exchanged which they said was fine, but we asked first amd picked up the keys from EA

They shouldn’t have done it - and their solicitor would have advised against it. It is a bit rude and it could still all fall through.

I remember that series about property ladders and a lady did this with a Wendy house / even got a bade made in the garden she did not yet own.

Owners were cross, presenters incredulous at her behaviour.

I would feel exactly the same as you.....totally !

Remove the fizz!!! Repeat, remove the fizz!!

You sound very emotional about the sale of the property and I wonder if it's more to do with acknowledging that loss and the home that goes with it.

It wouldn't bother me but if there's an emotional attachment to the property then I think your reaction is probably fairly typical.

@wifterwafter I probably am.

But the buyers know it’s an estate sale.

As others have said it feels disrespectful to the person who has died (if they were still alive it would be normal in Scotland for them only to be moving out today). I’m sure they wouldn’t have done this if the house was still occupied.

It’s also really affected our final leave taking and created a lot of additional angst.

I know why they did it, and if they had asked we almost certainly would have said yes. But to turn up and find their stuff there was really upsetting.

I couldn’t be bothered to be upset about this

You’re making a mountain out of a molehill. It’s probably got more to do with your feelings of loss. Spin it on its head. They really like the house just like your relative did when buying it. It’s nice they are keen

Did the buyers know that the person had passed away and it was a family house?

If so, it was a bit thoughtless as they could have been more respectful to that situation.

If not, I would assume they were just trying to speed things up - still would have been more polite to ask first but I don't think I would be too bothered.

@CarolEffingBaskin

Is this actually something you have time and headspace to give a fuck about OP? If so, I’d just thank my lucky stars I was in that position tbh.

Well that's plain weird. Having a dead relative and selling their house is not a fortunate position to be in.

OP - they should definitely have asked.

The buyers know the circumstances.

I’m incredulous that so many of you would be chilled about people accessing a property you owned to drop stuff off.

I can’t work out if it’s just mumsnet being “super chill” or if my attitude toward property and trespass is massively out of step with the rest of the world.

I couldn’t be bothered by this at all. But then I understand your sad to have to sell the house of a loved one and are maybe misplacing your anger on the new buyers .

“So somone was shitty to you so you have to be shitty to others?”

• no no one was shitty to me, my point is that’s just the process. You don’t expect to get to move your belongings in to a house until you actually own it.

OP, MN overnight can be a pretty weird place. It's not ok and I understand why you'd be upset. I don't think I would do anything about it, but I certainly wouldn't be leaving any champagne!

It really is worth getting worked up about is it? Choose your battles. Life is tough enough at the moment without causing uunnecessary drama.

Assuming it is their furniture, of course they should have asked, but is it really worth getting upset over? I can understand in the circumstances, why it has upset you though

I understand your emotional upset OP . When I sold my mum’s house I wanted a final look round without even my brother so I could remember her there. Your buyers should have asked but they are probably excited and hopefully will be happy there too. Don’t cloud their memories of moving in because you feel sad.

OP, I completely understand how jarring it must have been to see it there when you went to say a last goodbye.

And I think they were cheeky not to ask.

But it honestly, honestly wouldn't bother me that the new owner had accessed the garden of a property that would be theirs in 24 hours.

And you know, this could be a misunderstanding and there could be a good reason for it, like the pp who said that they were mortified that their parcel was delivered early. Maybe they asked a friend with a van to drop it off on Monday, but he took it a day early instead, unbeknown to them. Maybe they asked the estate agent, who forgot to pass on the message.

In general, when we fuck up we say it's out of character, a mistake, there were mitigating circumstances. But we rarely attach such consideration to other people's motives. Let it go.

Bless you, I did years as a conveyancing solicitor and this sort of thing happened often, one of the reasons it's not my area of work now!

Yes they were cheeky, some would argue that when it's exchanged and you have a legal obligation to sell they have equitable interest but that's not the point, they're supposed to wait because you need to provide vacant possession (empty house)

And yes, you're over reacting, most people have either said they wouldn't mind really or be mildly irritated. It's not really something to be INCREDULOUS over and hardly surprising given that in this current climate some moving firms aren't working and some people won't feel comfortable using them.

It's really really hard when it's someone you've lost, as you've found it stops being a pile of bricks and mortar and becomes very emotional. I hope completion goes smoothly, you can raise a glass tonight to family member and positive thoughts of a new family starting more nice memories in the house hopefully

We just had it the other way round - son completed purchase on Friday. His solicitor reminded the sellers 3 times we wanted the place cleared and even so we have so far removed 2 very full volvo estate car full of rubbish from the loft and garden with a bit more left in the garden. I feel we should be charging them for our time! They pretend they are being kind by leaving stuff you might use but in fact you don't want it. paint cans - may be 30 of those alone and of course most all hard anyway, stuff from years ago no one would want etc etc.

I agree - few would buy and move stuff in before unless they had permission not least because it is illegal.

When my father died and we cleared our parents' house what no one wanted after even offering stuff to his carers and the new buyers we had a company clear it - they said there was 2.5 times more than most houses in it! Those buyers I suggested as they were near by and we weren't go round on the house clearance day (before completion) to check and they were grateful for that and that was helpful for us too and all agreed in advance.

I’m with you, op. This would annoy me because asking politely costs nothing. Just turning up and dumping stuff in the garden is not on.

The people we bought our house from were lovely and let us order some big furniture items for a few days before we exchanged, as the next delivery date would have been 6 weeks later. We reciprocated by keeping some of their things in the garage for a few weeks as they were downsizing and didn’t have space for them. This was all agreed beforehand and both parties were happy with the arrangement. I wouldn’t dream of just turning up and leaving stuff in the garden, or turning up unannounced.

I wouldn’t make a big fuss of it, like involving the solicitors, but I would definitely take the champagne back and have it myself!

Someone made the good point that we all live by a set of morals and values, and g we annoyed when people don’t.

I know I fall into this category. I get very angry when people behave in a way that I think is cavalier, and when then take liberties I wouldn’t dream of.

It is cheeky - and they should have checked first. It would have been polite and would have only required a phone call to the estate agent.

You will have to let it go and accept some people are just thoughtless.

Psychologically we tend to feel irritated when others do things we would not do ourselves

^ This.

No, OP, YANBU. People are so entitled, why on earth did they just not ask if it was OK?

If it was a family home, you might have wanted to get your siblings together, and just sit in the garden in quiet reflection as a farewell to a parent, the day before the house was sold. To be faced with a pile of someone else's furniture is crass.

I wouldn't do anything apart from what you're doing... ask your EA to check it is theirs... to make a point.

Perhaps they did ask the estate agent and they said it was ok without contacting you?