Drastic change of hair - close friend didnt notice

[laraa91]

Close friend didn't say anything about my very drastic hair dye. I went from brunette to platinum blonde. Most people say it looks great on me - (I have coloured eyes and fair skin - if relevant)

Now by no means do I expect a compliment, but I would have expected acknowledgement of the drastic change. She has odd moments where I've noticed she dislikes drawing attention on other people etc. I think its odder for me because I am such a girls girl - I like making women around me feel good about themselves so compliment the things I like easily.
Ofcourse there is always the option she disliked my new hair and preferred to not mention it.

Am I being unreasonable to get annoyed about her not saying anything?

Maybe she just didn't notice? I've had 2 husbands and both have failed to notice major hair colour changes (and once even a massive style change!) and it wasn't until someone else pointed it out they realised!

Very strange. Regardless of whether she liked it she should still have acknowledged it!

This is a ridiculous thing to be upset over.

Ok was this me.

Before Lockdown I bumped in to an extended family member. She had gone from very dark hair to very light hair (tied up in a bun, I think). I didn't say anything.
It looked nice but I couldn't tell if it was almost-white from no colouring (she's in her 50s) or had purposely been done that way.

It looked great I'm not sure why I didn't say that. Maybe I didn't think about it until afterwards. Sorry if that's you, Jayne!

@BettyAndVeronica

Ok was this me.

Before Lockdown I bumped in to an extended family member. She had gone from very dark hair to very light hair (tied up in a bun, I think). I didn't say anything.
It looked nice but I couldn't tell if it was almost-white from no colouring (she's in her 50s) or had purposely been done that way.

It looked great I'm not sure why I didn't say that. Maybe I didn't think about it until afterwards. Sorry if that's you, Jayne!

This made me laugh so much :) No its not Jayne here.

I'm the type of person who doesn't notice things like that - even quite drastic changes.
Even if I do notice, I rarely comment. Hair styles just aren't important to me so it's not something I would usually comment on.

I don't understand why this even matters to you. It's just a hair style!

I think people saying they wouldnt notice are being a bit bloody disingenuous.

This woman has gone from brunette to platinum blonde for christs sake. I mean come on.

OP the obvious answer is shes immature and jealous because your new hair makes you look hot as fuck. Next time you see her just ask her flat out what she thinks to see!

I think people saying they wouldnt notice are being a bit bloody disingenuous.

I might not notice. Assuming I did I might mention it but honestly it's taken a lot of work for me to realise that other people appreciate comments on stuff like that.

I fully accept that's unusual but not everyone cares about the same things.

I do think she did notice. Its either she didn't like it and preferred to stay quite...or she liked it and didn't want to throw out compliments

Unless this 'friend' is actually someone you really fancy who goes to the same school as you, I think you are analysing this way more than is normal. Just ask her next time.

So, I sometimes don't notice things like this. I have no idea why but say for instance DH and I went to the supermarket and I lost him in there (pre Covid shit show obviously), I usually can't remember what he's wearing for me to actually find him. So there's a chance she's one of those people.

Alternatively, she didn't have anything nice to say so didn't say anything at all.

I might not notice. I've failed to noticed a close friend getting their nose pierced, I've failed to notice very drastic "big chop" cuts, people dying their hair, weight loss etc.

I don't tend to notice much about people's physical appearance. I just don't think about it much. I don't think much about my own appearance either. I'm not trying to sound cool, or deep or whatever, I have just never been that sort of person

OP

When I was 14 I went from fair hair to black, my dad didn't notice (mum was away at the time).

When I asked him if he liked it he said, "Oh yes, have you had it curled?"

Some people just don't notice things.

I think it would be hard not to notice so I expect she thinks it looks awful and thought better not to comment. No idea what “coloured eyes” meant until you clarified but not sure what having green / blue eyes has to do with a change in hair colour anyway.

Yeah I'd be annoyed too OP.

I've known people like this before who don't like to build up other people. I don't have those type of people in my life now!

Your hair sounds amazing! 👏🏼

But she has always had this habit of quickly criticising people for 'unfashionable' clothes and never complimenting them when they look good.

So why are you surprised this time that she's continued the same "habit" that she "always" exhibits?
Perhaps you should just take it as a positive sign that she hasn't criticised your hair for being "unfashionable".

I don't tend to comment on peoples appearances. It's all very subjective and often fake and I'm uncomfortable with people noting things about my appearance. I wouldn't read too much into it. I'm sure it doesn't affect how she feels about you as a person.

@CrotchBurn

I think people saying they wouldnt notice are being a bit bloody disingenuous.

This woman has gone from brunette to platinum blonde for christs sake. I mean come on.

OP the obvious answer is shes immature and jealous because your new hair makes you look hot as fuck. Next time you see her just ask her flat out what she thinks to see!

I know - I completely ignored the ones who mentioned they wouldn't notice. There's no way you can miss! :)

I asked her yesterday and her exact reply was 'so many people were complimenting your hair I didn't feel the need to. It looks nice'

I said thank you :)

Yes some people really have issues with building people up.

I like it, if I can make anyone smile for 5 seconds I'll be there doing that. Being a nice person really isn't difficult

I have a face that tells the truth, I wouldn’t be able to comment on a hairstyle that I didn’t like without my face looking the picture of disgust so I don’t comment until I’ve had time to process and get over the shock.

If I didn't comment on a friend's drastic hair change, it would mean that I didn't like it, not that I hadn't noticed/was rude/jealous.

If I said , "Wow, that's a change' it would come out sounding like, "Bloody hell, what have you done to yourself." So I'd keep quiet and hope it wasn't written all over my face.

My DM never mentions anything nice about anyone. She's full of observations and criticism - never compliments. I lost a load of weight and went from a size 18 to a 10 one summer. Everyone commented except - yep - my own mother. Fast as hell to tell me if i put on a few pounds

I did the same as you OP and went from brunette to blonde overnight. Guess who was the only one who said nothing?

My opinion is that your friend is a 'can't bring myself to say anything nice' person.

Maybe she doesn't like it, a colleague had lip fillers & I thought they looked dreadful so was quiet until asked. However I only noticed another colleague looked slimmer recently & she had lost 3 stone.

Saying that my hair veers between brown, bronde, blonde & is long. People don't necessarily notice it when I add more colour or chop off 4 inches. However the same people will often compliment me on my hair n

She didn't notice because it's not important to her.

Think on that before remaining close friends with her.