Drastic change of hair - close friend didnt notice

[laraa91]

Close friend didn't say anything about my very drastic hair dye. I went from brunette to platinum blonde. Most people say it looks great on me - (I have coloured eyes and fair skin - if relevant)

Now by no means do I expect a compliment, but I would have expected acknowledgement of the drastic change. She has odd moments where I've noticed she dislikes drawing attention on other people etc. I think its odder for me because I am such a girls girl - I like making women around me feel good about themselves so compliment the things I like easily.
Ofcourse there is always the option she disliked my new hair and preferred to not mention it.

Am I being unreasonable to get annoyed about her not saying anything?

YANBU. Even if she’s not fussed on it, she could have commented... ‘Wow, what a change! Are you happy with it?’ ... that sort of thing.

That's odd behaviour, but you're close friends, say something!

Aren't everyone's eyes colored? Maybe she doesn't like it and feels awkward saying something.

Why do you need validation from her, or anyone else? Do you like it? If you do, why isn't that enough?

Perhaps she's green with envy!

What does ‘coloured eyes’ mean?!

Coloured eyes!

Maybe she has Aphantasiaso she just can't tell or maybe she thinks it's not a good look. I'd have just said 'what do you think of my hair?'

Someone I know had awful eyelash extensions once. She looked ridiculous. I find it REALLY hard to be fake complimentary, it sort of sticks in my throat. So I chose not to say anything at all rather than risk offending her.

She was offended that I hadn't complimented her on them instead.

Can't win sometimes.

She has odd moments where I've noticed she dislikes drawing attention on other people etc
This suggests that she doesn't like to comment on people's appearance.

Oh gosh I am mortified that I wrote coloured eyes! Yes thats very odd in English. My native language isnt english and we use the term 'coloured eyes' to describe green or blue eyes which is silly considering brown, black and grey are coloured too!

@MeanWeedratStew

Why do you need validation from her, or anyone else? Do you like it? If you do, why isn't that enough?

I mentioned I didnt expect a compliment. But I did expect recognition

@WhySoNoisy

Someone I know had awful eyelash extensions once. She looked ridiculous. I find it REALLY hard to be fake complimentary, it sort of sticks in my throat. So I chose not to say anything at all rather than risk offending her.

She was offended that I hadn't complimented her on them instead.

Can't win sometimes.

Yes I completely understand this. I am quick to compliment but only with things I like - I could never compliment something I didn't like

I think she doesn't like it and couldn't find anything nice to say. Sorry OP

My native language is English and I knew what you meant by 'coloured' eyes.

I can't imagine not commenting on such a drastic change. If it's any consolation, I had my hair cut a few weeks ago and no one NO ONE, not even my dc or my boyfriend noticed.

How much does it cost someone to say, “Wow, new hair!”

She’s being withholding I imagine. Don’t go spraying her with compliments in future!

@IveNameChangedAgain2020

I think she doesn't like it and couldn't find anything nice to say. Sorry OP

Thats fine with me - we all have different tastes and preferences. I love it. If thats the case then I can understand her not mentioning it :)

She doesn't like it... was brought up with the mantra... If you don't have anything nice to say, keep quiet... So she did

@borntohula

My native language is English and I knew what you meant by 'coloured' eyes.

I can't imagine not commenting on such a drastic change. If it's any consolation, I had my hair cut a few weeks ago and no one NO ONE, not even my dc or my boyfriend noticed.

Sending you hugs!

Its one thing for close friends to not notice but a complete other for boyfriends or husbands! Grrrr

Well, I think your hair looks lovely, OP. 😊

@AtrociousCircumstance

How much does it cost someone to say, “Wow, new hair!”

She’s being withholding I imagine. Don’t go spraying her with compliments in future!

Thats what I thought too - that or she just didn't like it and preferred to stay quite.

But she has always had this habit of quickly criticising people for 'unfashionable' clothes and never complimenting them when they look good. As for me, I think I will continue complimenting her, she has a very low self esteem and always complains about husband and parents who never pay her any attention. I will be that person who helps her feel better in herself (hopefully)

Did she definitely notice? I am very unobservant and rarely notice people's hair

@Fairydustrust

Well, I think your hair looks lovely, OP. 😊

You are lovely for saying that

It really isn't hard to be a nice person :)

@AtrociousCircumstance

How much does it cost someone to say, “Wow, new hair!”

She’s being withholding I imagine. Don’t go spraying her with compliments in future!

But that can get into a right tangle. "Wow, new hair!" - "Do you like it?" Umm.... Well, no,....

She doesn't like it and didn't want to be fake as a PP said.

A woman I work with came in the office one day and she had changed her hair from blonde, to pillar box red.

It looked bloody awful. I did the 'wow that's a change' thing.

But nobody else in the office mentioned it and there's a dozen people who work there.

Hmm she is very observant with what everyone wears or does - she always said her mum would criticise everything in everyone (friend included) and that she picked up her mothers habits.

I do think she did notice. Its either she didn't like it and preferred to stay quite (which is out of character) or she liked it and didn't want to throw out compliments