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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being unreasonable to my partner

62 replies

KRCE · 15/01/2021 12:31

Am I being unreasonable to my partner,
I am up with both children from 5am in the morning and playing and doing bottled up untill 9pm my partner don’t do nothing at all during the day as he gets up at 11am and then sit in the bathroom for 2 hours so he don’t have to deal with the crying baby, he then don’t offer to help me at all when I need to have 5 mins to me self, as baby girl will constantly cry if she’s not held or sitting up in my arms,

But my partner does her midnight feed and brings her to the bedroom once she’s fed and then leaves her to me!

But he says I’m selfish because he can’t GAME with his friends at night because he has to feed the baby! But he’s 36?

Am I in the wrong for moaning that he does nothing at all!

OP posts:
Santaiscovidfree · 15/01/2021 12:32

Personally I would stop moaning and pack his stuff instead...
You are wasting your time with such a man child.
Concentrate on the genuine dc...

Branleuse · 15/01/2021 12:33

He sounds like a waste of space

abigailsnan · 15/01/2021 12:37

He would be shown the door PDQ and told not to come back until he realized how to be a partner not a big child. Get that bag packed.

thepeopleversuswork · 15/01/2021 12:40

You're not being in any way unreasonable. I'm sure if you're honest with yourself you know this.

He's a spoiled, entitled man child. What does he bring to your life? What is the point of being with someone who would rather game than take any responsibility for his children?

You'd be better off on your own.

AryaStarkWolf · 15/01/2021 12:43

I think you have 3 children

WeAllHaveWings · 15/01/2021 12:43

Is this sudden new behaviour?

If yes, have a heart to heart and tell him it is not on. He should be doing his fair share of early mornings and engaging/sharing care of his children and all household chores.

If not new behaviour and he has always been like this, you chose him. You also get to chose to leave.

babycakes1010 · 15/01/2021 12:43

Your partner sounds a lazy cunt...get rid!

DinosaurDigestive · 15/01/2021 12:46

Mine does exactly the same. I have zero time at all for anything yet he moans nonstop as he can't go on his xbox all the time like he used to do. Doesn't bother with the younger ones and is hardly ever here at all.

You have an extra man child with you and it will be a whole lot less stress for you if he wasn't there.

I'm getting shot of mine as all he is doing is dragging me down and making depression worse.

IDKNABYBIF22 · 15/01/2021 12:47

Gets up at 11am and hides in the bathroom for 2 hours?? Does he not have a job?

But no OP, YANBU to expect your partner to be an actual parent for more than 5 minutes a day.

steff13 · 15/01/2021 12:49

He should be doing 50% of the care. Especially if he's not working and is home all day.

CharlotteRose90 · 15/01/2021 12:50

I hope this is a joke post because if not your partners a selfish piece of crap. He should be doing the night feeds but he should help you during the day if he’s off work. I’d brake his games console or sell it.

Merryoldgoat · 15/01/2021 12:50

I honestly don’t know what to say. I actually hope it IS a joke.

buckeejit · 15/01/2021 12:50

Ffs, he's a useless prick. Get rid, life would undoubtedly be easier without him

Godimabitch · 15/01/2021 12:52

What are you even doing staying with him. Sounds like your life would be a lot easier without him.

Catty1720 · 15/01/2021 12:56

Do you really need to ask?
He isn’t pulling his weight? Was he like this when you had your first DC? You need to seriously sit him down things need to change.

Sceptre86 · 15/01/2021 12:57

He sounds beyond useless but you have two children with him why? Is this new behaviour? If not yabu to have set your standards so low.

Of course he is being unreasonable and pathetic and you shouldn't need mumsnet to confirm that with you. I know this is harsh but you need a wake up call, unless you want to put up with this manchild forever make a change.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/01/2021 12:59

What's sad op isn't just that you've had several children's with a man who shows no interest beyond the sex it took to concieve then, or that you're so ground down you don't know if that's reasonable, but that presumably this attitude must be so prevalent in the people around you that you can't see it's wrong.

I'd end the relationship
I'm a wife / partner not a maid who offers sex

Sexnotgender · 15/01/2021 12:59

What exactly does he bring to the relationship? Does he work?

peak2021 · 15/01/2021 13:00

I am sorry to read that your self-esteem is low.

It would be unacceptable if he was 26, age is not the issue here.

NoOneOwnsTheRainbow · 15/01/2021 13:01

Wow. Have my first LTB. If my DH did this for even a week, I'd throw all his stuff out and change the locks. Then he'd either find someone else to drag down or he'd quickly realise just how green the grass was.

FortniteBoysMum · 15/01/2021 13:08

Tell him he can game all night long. Then at 5 am he can get the baby up do everything else as well as your having a week off. On a serious note you need to have a discussion about him pulling his weight and doing his share with his own child.

LannieDuck · 15/01/2021 13:10

Which of you works currently?

MrsGrindah · 15/01/2021 13:11

Oh come on do you really expect people to say “ yes it’s fine. In fact he needs even more time to himself?”

SleepingStandingUp · 15/01/2021 13:12

@LannieDuck

Which of you works currently?
Op - she clearly has a pretty young baby and another child who's she's looking after on her own.
SleepingStandingUp · 15/01/2021 13:13

@MrsGrindah

Oh come on do you really expect people to say “ yes it’s fine. In fact he needs even more time to himself?”
Well I did think it was a bit much expecting him to do the midnight feed after a hard day's wanking and gaming