Am I being unreasonable to my partner

[KRCE]

Am I being unreasonable to my partner,
I am up with both children from 5am in the morning and playing and doing bottled up untill 9pm my partner don’t do nothing at all during the day as he gets up at 11am and then sit in the bathroom for 2 hours so he don’t have to deal with the crying baby, he then don’t offer to help me at all when I need to have 5 mins to me self, as baby girl will constantly cry if she’s not held or sitting up in my arms,

But my partner does her midnight feed and brings her to the bedroom once she’s fed and then leaves her to me!

But he says I’m selfish because he can’t GAME with his friends at night because he has to feed the baby! But he’s 36?

Am I in the wrong for moaning that he does nothing at all!

Men who are good with babies are rare

This is one of the big reasons why we’re childfree. My husband is amazing but children would be at the bottom of his priorities list. Mine too to be honest.

Gets up at 11am then hides in the bathroom for 2 hours. WTAF?

(Sorry I realise I've offered no practical advice but I'd imagine you'll get some very helpful 3 lettered advice from many on this thread!)

@MaskingForIt

He sounds sexy. I guess you can’t kick him out because you need both of your benefits to survive?

Unnecessary.

@oakleaffy

Men generally aren’t keen on caring for babies. If he resents it, I’d not let him do it as baby will pick up on his lack of care/ hostility. When kids are more “ Fun” they become more hands on, according to an experienced health visitor.

If he was inattentive to baby number one, having another won’t make him any better.

Men who are good with babies are rare .

There's a whole universe of difference between "innately good with babies, their one true purpose in life" and "sits on the loo all day to avoid them" and thankfully most father's fall towards the "at least does his duty" end.

I don't know anyone in RL who's partner didn't at least try

@SleepingStandingUp
Unnecessary

Not really. If she is dependent on his benefits then she needs to make an appointment with her benefits advisor and work out a plan to get on with her life without this loser.

Yeah the tone of your last message @MaskingForIt was not concern over her financial situation

So basically you have 2 babies to care for. I would not tolerate this. Did you know he was this useless before you got together with him?

I work from home doing my own little business as I worked for the nhs but on mat leave

@MaskingForIt I actually work thank you from
Home with my own business and I also work for the nhs which I am on mat leave with as my 2nd child is 12 weeks new .... this post was not about benefits either so please keep your unnecessary comments to yourself

You need to lose him.

Now.

The NHS allows you to be self-employed whilst contracted to them? Interesting.

He’s not a partner. He’s someone you have sex with. Partners work together and take on shares of all the household responsibilities. He sleeps till 11 then spends 2 hours on the loo with his phone (probably playing games or watching porn) so it’s at least 1 pm before you even see him, let alone have any meaningful interaction with him after he has satisfied his cravings. Is that how you want your children to see their father?

I voted YABU because YABU to even have to ask on here if this is normal. But maybe you’ve been so conditioned that you don’t see it. YABU to keep having children with him. Stop having sex with him or you’ll be back here next year with another newborn and be even more stressed.

When I was reading the post I thought he was probably 19, possibly 20. But 36? Holy shit. But you picked him.

@BritWifeinUSA there are lots of people with 2nd incomes via self employment so not sure what your point is.