Anyone else losing it with poor behaviour from children?

bridgerton · 2021-01-15T11:42:21+00:00

I cant homeschool my DD (5). Shes in reception and acts like an absolute clown every single day. I'm fed up. She cant sit down and do her daily activities, she always gets distracted by the trains outside or stares in to space chewing on the collar of her t-shirt. I cant get her to engage. I've been leaving her with my mum whilst I work and she's very compliant. When I'm there, she just fucks around, argues, climbs everything and has been deliberately wetting herself. I honestly cant take this anymore. I don't recognise my 5 year old. What is going on with her?

SparklySnake · 15/01/2021 11:44

Sounds like you need a reward chart or similar where you lay out the expectations and she has to tick them all off all day to earn TV time, trip to park or similar.

It is probably the lack of routine, sensing adults feeling unsettled with the Covid situation and generally testing boundaries.

You aren't alone!

ValidUser · 15/01/2021 11:45

You're in a really odd situation and you and your 5-year-old DD have been forced (for good reason) into an involuntary student-teacher relationship.

Nothing useful to add, but you won't be alone in this and I have a lot of empathy for you both.

formerbabe · 15/01/2021 11:47

My dd is ten and is point blank refusing to do any school work. These,aren't normal times where I can put my foot down and insist or be strict mum. I cannot turn my home into a battleground. It's an absolute nightmare

Mummypigisalwaysright · 15/01/2021 11:54

Yes op, I feel you. My 7yr old Ds is exactly the same. Lack of routine and the different boundaries of home are causing melt downs, attitude and arguments. No advice, but for you.

PodgeBod · 15/01/2021 11:55

My 5 year old has taken to bursting into tears everytime I ask her to do some schoolwork. Its a nightmare

billybagpuss · 15/01/2021 11:55

Honestly for a few days, do nothing. It’s far more important that she is calm and relaxed than develops anxiety for learning. It will be easier on you too. If your mum is able, use her for childcare while you work, then go back to toddler style routine when she’s with you. Snuggles on the sofa, bed time stories, maybe bring maths into it on walks how many ducks can we see etc. But don’t stress yourself out trying to follow a formal schedule, it’s clearly not working for either of you, so do what works for you and maybe add a bit of learning in by stealth if the opportunity presents itself.

QueenofBrickdon · 15/01/2021 11:56

My 9 year old will not do any work either. Thankfully he has an Autism diagnosis so school have given him a place there.

Unfortunately the school is closed due to snow today and I can't even get him to get dressed!

Original poster

bridgerton · 15/01/2021 12:22

for everyone else having to deal with this.

Looks like going back to basics is the answer. Shes relaxed playing with her Legos for hours on end. I just dont want her to fall behind at school. Her classmates are all eager to work but her.

OP posts:

Meerkatmummy4 · 15/01/2021 12:29

My ds4 has been an absolute monster today, he threw a toddler style tantrum over going to brush his teeth and get dressed, he was throwing things and hitting furniture. All because he had to switch off the tv and didn't want to do hia school work 🙄. We've decided we're going to go back to school routine next week so no tv until after school in the hopes it will calm things. I think he is genuinely unsettled as he loves school and its his birthday next week so he's upset over not seeing the extended family.

Awomanwalksintoabar · 15/01/2021 12:29

What makes you think her classmates are all eager to work? 100 quid says this is not the case. PPs are right- back to basics, love, hugs, walks, no work for at least a few days. You have my sympathies. Mine are 6 and 7 this lockdown, and it’s a world away from the first one, where we all really struggled. That year has made such a difference.

DeanImpala67 · 15/01/2021 12:36

Have a look at Five Minute Mum on instagram, she has brilliant ideas for reception aged children to hide learning in a game and it's not that labour intensive for the parent.

MinnieMountain · 15/01/2021 12:39

My 7yo is like that when I teach him, but not when MIL does. I asked him why and he said “because I love you so much”. I think he meant he’s secure enough to let his feelings out.

Not that it helps in the moment but it’s a nice thing to know.

Thisischocolate · 15/01/2021 12:41

Having the same here with DS (nearly 6), Year 1. All schoolwork/Zoom calls x 3 daily were going well until two days ago when his behaviour surrounding schoolwork has just gone through the floor.

Some days he cries on/off all day about why can’t he go to school, when can he go back etc. My heart breaks for him but at the same time I just can’t allow him to do no schoolwork for next 3 months; the school gives us a weekly timetable so we’re trying to keep to a routine, no TV until 4pm etc, going out every day for exercise to the park etc.

I’m so angry with those who have deliberately flouted the rules that led to school closures. Children’s education and emotional well-being suffering long-term for the second time in less than a year

tea69 · 15/01/2021 12:42

I'm in the same boat! My DC is 6.

If I sit with him to do his work he complains about the way I teach him (I try and get him to explain why he's come to that answer), but if I leave him to his own devices he gets on the Nintendo or starts playing music 😂

Wish I hadn't decided to do Dry January 😂

nancy75 · 15/01/2021 12:42

I bet her classmates are as eager to work as she is! Remember what the school mums say versus what is really happening in their house is very often a world apart.

My DD is much older so I don't know how much help i'll be but try to make learning as fun as possible, in school they don't sit at a desk all day at that age.
Lots of online stuff available on BBC website & also an article here about online resources for all ages
metro.co.uk/2021/01/07/homeschooling-uk-free-resources-to-use-in-lockdown-13856478?

whatwouldjudydo · 15/01/2021 12:46

I read this today and it's made me think. My children have been struggling too, it's an unprecedented situation and everyone is going through a lot and a big change. Tantrums and wetting are classic regression signs that DD is possible stressed out at the moment. I would do absolute basics with her if you can try and implement it into play and just give her lots of love to make her feel secure atm. I am also working still (going out to work) single mum to 4 kids - 3 in school and honestly I am so stressed out I don't recognise myself. Trying to work then come home and homeschool is awful! (Family are watching the kids but now tbh I wish I had sent them as keychildren into school as I feel I'm failing them!)

Anyone else losing it with poor behaviour from children?

happymummy12345 · 15/01/2021 12:47

My son is also in reception (5 years old). His school sets tasks every day, as far as I can tell it's meant to be as close to what they would be doing at school. (The provision is brilliant).
Some days he really wants to do it all and he is happy to do it all. Other days he will do some then not want to do anymore. And a few days he hasn't wanted to do any at all and it's been a struggle to get him to do just one of the activities.
It's so hard because I know the problem, he wants to go to school. He's told us how much he misses school. We are just doing the best we can, and if some days all the work isn't done we just explain to the teachers (who are very understanding anyway). All this is hard enough for adults, it must be so much harder and even more confusing for children, especially those who are too young to really understand what's happening. But truthfully, all any of us can do is our best.

formerbabe · 15/01/2021 12:47

@Thisischocolate

Having the same here with DS (nearly 6), Year 1. All schoolwork/Zoom calls x 3 daily were going well until two days ago when his behaviour surrounding schoolwork has just gone through the floor.

Some days he cries on/off all day about why can’t he go to school, when can he go back etc. My heart breaks for him but at the same time I just can’t allow him to do no schoolwork for next 3 months; the school gives us a weekly timetable so we’re trying to keep to a routine, no TV until 4pm etc, going out every day for exercise to the park etc.

I’m so angry with those who have deliberately flouted the rules that led to school closures. Children’s education and emotional well-being suffering long-term for the second time in less than a year

Why have you said three months?! Do you know something we don't?! I'm still praying for a return after half term

tatutata · 15/01/2021 12:48

I have a summer born 5 year old who has to keep up with the year 1 syllabus. That was hard even when he was at school and he's always had a bit of an attitude. Even the DS7 who loves learning now doesn't really want to do anything. . I've decided it's more important for him to find the concepts fun than to finish all the assignments so I've just been trying to praise the small amount of work he does.

Lovaduck74 · 15/01/2021 12:49

If it helps my 5yr old DS is the same. Just breathe...they will catch up. Just do what you can. It's not worth fighting over it. I promised myself this lockdown I would ease off a bit. Last time was awful but when he got back to school, he was soon back up to speed. Big hugs to you.

TurquoiseDress · 15/01/2021 12:50

I feel your pain OP!

My DC1 is 6 and in year 2 and it's a bloody nightmare trying to get them to do anything plus I work outside the home all week & today is meant to be WFH.

DH usually does the schoolwork while I'm at work but he is getting on with all the stuff he's not managed to get done earlier on in the week!

CigarsofthePharoahs · 15/01/2021 12:54

I have a ten year old and a six year old. After ever increasing incidents of bad behaviour I have come down hard. Tablets are gone, computers are locked to Teams only. No Netflix, no computer games.
This morning hasn't been too bad as they know their behaviour today will dictate if they get their screens back at the weekend.
However they're not doing so well after lunch. I keep looking at all the assignments bon teams that say PAST DUE and inwardly despairing.

Teddy1970 · 15/01/2021 12:55

You're not alone by any stretch OP, my DD is 8 and she dicks around when it comes to school work, we've had many a row about it believe me! I do the English and DH does the Maths, oddly enough she doesn't dick around so much for him...

Teddy1970 · 15/01/2021 12:59

CigarsofthePharoahs Same here, bloody Roblox is the bane of my life at the moment, I've banned her from doing it during the day and she only does a bit early evening IF she's done the work, if she hasn't then it's tough shit.

thepeopleversuswork · 15/01/2021 13:02

Just wanted to add to those saying this is completely normal. My DD is nearly 10 and is very unmotivated. We have got through some work but I've had to really push her. I'm a single mum and work full time and just don't have the bandwidth to do this so we're moving very slowly.

Don't be too hard on yourself or on her: everyone (teachers included) accepts that this is a mammoth task and they know that the kids are struggling with it. The most important thing is that they are safe and happy and to some degree engaged. You're never going to be able to replicate the school environment.