WIBU to stop my 17 year old getting a motorbike?

[RemarkableLemur]

My 17 year old DS wants to get a 125cc motorbike. I really don't want him to, I think they're way too dangerous, particularly for his age group. Two of his close friends both have one.

He turns 18 in the first half of this year. He says he'll ask for more hours at work so he can save for one. He's very stubborn and determined.

WIBU to resort to quite mean tactics to stop him getting a bike? The only ideas I've had are too mean for me to genuinely consider, but here they are:

• Make him pay rent when he turns 18 so he can't afford the bike
• Take back my offer of financial help to go to uni unless he agrees not to buy a bike
• Arrange for some thugs to steal his new bike

Obviously this is tongue in cheek. Anyone got any better ideas?!

I've said I'll pay the difference in price between the cost of a bike and a car as a car would be safer, but he's obsessed with the idea of a bike.

I travelled and lived in Italy for a while.
I used to see loads of young, good looking boys, in shorts and flit-flops driving around on mopeds. Scary.

Forgot to attach.

All those saying just to pay for his lessons and a car - his friends have 125s and he wants to join in. Having a car isn't going to do that.

No, but it will distract him and he will know other people of his age with cars.

www.kent.fire-uk.org/your-safety/road-safety/road-safety-experience/

Try and get him on a safety course like this

For me, my son could have all the best training in the world, wear the best quality leathers and helmet, buy a top of the range bike with all the safety features...BUT it won't stop another road user idiot driving recklessly and injuring or killing a motorcyclist.

It would be a blunt no from me but I'd explain where I'm coming from (and have done).

My cousin was killed when a driver pulled out of a side road, knocked him to the other lane where he was hit & killed instantly by an oncoming car. None of the training or safety courses in the world could've stopped that from happening sadly.

Of he is determined to get one then he will.
But insist he wears appropriate protective boots trousers jacket gloves helmet at all times.even in the hot weather or just popping down the road to a mates.
Motorbikes are ,exciting,great in traffic and exhilarating,I had a 500cc .
But car drivers and motorcyclists are not a good match.The men used to try to race me in their cars all the time,maybe because I was female but they could be total pxicks.
Many police forces run courses for motorcyclists,once they have their licence,in safer riding,this course is great and will lower some insurance premiums.
If he's going to go ahead perhaps barter with him about wearing the safe gear and doing the course?
Believe me,the injuries I've seen on motorcyclists who didn't wear the protection and came off at 30mph are extremely bad let alone anything faster.
You may not be able to stop him but hopefully you will make him stop and think.
Good luck

Update - he's showing signs of being interested in a car now that DH and I have had further conversations with him.

Thanks so much to everyone who's posted - it's given me lots to think about and talk about with DH and DS and I'm encouraged that he's now properly considering a car instead.

Ive had a bike licence 20+ years, and Im still here. What i will say is that it's not a cheap hobby - he'll need to think about helmet, clothing, gloves, boots - deffo waterproofs are needed in this country and decent kit isnt cheap. Also insurance, tax, maintenance etc. FWIW, the only biker I know who's died, did so in his car in accident (hit head on by a stolen car that was being chased by the police) after 50+ years of safe riding all over the world. ExH also been riding 40+ years with no serious accidents. I think bikes tend to be scarier if youre not around them regularly? Just pray that he never wants to get a race licence and start roadracing...

Great news Op....

To all the people who think motorbikes are too dangerous, I have a very simple question: do you ever order from the likes of Deliveroo? If you do, you are bloody hypocrites, because you are basically saying that you don't want your precious kids to engage in a risky activity, but you couldn't care less if mostly-foreign-and-poor guys engage in the same risky activity as long as they can provide one of the modern conveniences (home food delivery) you have grown accustomed to.

I'm not elderly but in my lifetime I've known six people, 5 young men and 1 young woman, who've been killed in motorbike accidents, and 1 young man who was paralysed from the neck down in a motorbike accident just a few days after his parents bought him the bike for his birthday. Then there's the people with lesser injuries. All but one of the above were in their late teens. Your son will probably get a bike if he really wants one, but I've met parents whose grief has the added despair of feeling that they contributed to the death and it's terrible to witness.

My friend’s brother was decapitated during a motorcycle accident, caused by another driver. It wasn’t even high speed. It was utterly appalling, so many lives were destroyed. I could never ever allow someone I loved to ride a bike. I don’t care how controlling that makes me.

I think you're being unreasonable, and very petty, grow up.

The worry with a motorcycle is not so much the bike but the other drivers on the road.

My cousin spent a year trying to learn to walk again after someone pulled out of a t junction and hit him.

My partner now was clipped from behind and has lifelong chronic pain after a bike accident. He was clipped and thrown into oncoming traffic and broke a hip and pelvis.

If he is determined I would make sure he takes all the extra lessons possible for bike awareness.

My ds has just turned 17 this week and he's saying he wants to get a motorbike, really don't want him, had plenty of friends come off them over the years and get badly injured, the trouble is he's got his mind set on it.

I don't want him to end up as an organ donor :(

He's hoping I'll pay his insurance for him but I'm saying no to that, hopefully the prices will put him off for now?

I've checked prices here and the cheapest is coming out at about £500, which I hope (fingers crossed) will be enough to put him off doing it for now.

Does £500 seem like an accurate quote for a 17yo on a 125cc?

TY

I have nightmares about DC ever wanting a bike.

As PP say, it's not them, it's the other road users that don't see them. And there's nothing to save them when they hit the road/car/tree as a result.

Buy him a car. Hope that he sees that the convenience of immediate transport is what he mostly wants, and will forget about the bike bit.

@ameliaesmith this is an old thread, if you start a new one you’ll get responses. Probably much the same as the ones above.

When DS said he was getting a motorcycle I said ok I can’t stop you but I will withdraw all financial support. I meant it and he knew it.

That was the end of the subject. It’s one of my few absolute no way subjects.

Good that he's now considering a car, but it is ultimately his decision, if he can afford it.
I have 2 close family members who have ridden motorbikes since they legally could, not one accident between them, whereas I know someone else who had a serious accident not long after starting.
I had an accident in my car, not my fault at all and car was in fine condition, yet I still went flying across 2 lanes. Luckily the road was empty, but if there had been traffic coming in the opposite direction it would have been 50/50 (at best) I reckon, as to whether I survived. I think all you can do, in any vehicle, is be as safe as possible, follow the rules of the road/training, and be aware of other drivers, bearing in mind they might not be as conscientious.

Oh I didn't realise this was a zombie thread 🤦‍♀️