To dislike the casual use of ‘I have anxiety’

[Sallytheseal]

I’ve name changed for this as I’m sure I’ll get a pasting but I’ve noticed SO many threads where the OP will not do something / expect special treatment because ‘I have anxiety’ and that’s the end of the sentence.

Anxiety is a medical condition and it should be treated. It isn’t a reason to just avoid things that make you anxious. For context, I had a traumatic delivery with DC2 and developed debilitating panic attacks. I saw a therapist, had counselling for over 2 years, forced myself to build tolerance (my fear was any separation from DC and I had to build myself up to longer times). It was awful but necessary. DH also suffers from diagnosed anxiety. He has regular therapy and is medicated. He still gets anxious but isn’t part of being a responsible adult getting treatment? I fully understand that doesn’t happen straight away, I didn’t seek help till DC was 6 months and I’m all too familiar with the state of mental health provision but if you already have the awareness that you have anxiety, and that it’s affecting your behaviour, then at some point you need to seek help or at least acknowledge that you need to seek help.

I hate when posters write things like, ‘I can’t confront x, I have anxiety’. I think it belittles people with diagnosed anxiety, as if they are helpless/ unable to change. Also, if you don’t have diagnosed anxiety, it’s weird to use the name of a recognised mental health disorder to self diagnose. You can say ‘I feel anxious’ which doesn’t co-opt someone else’s genuine illness?

I’m honestly not trying to minimise anyone’s suffering but I also don’t think it’s right to misrepresent a mental health disorder.

@Guineapigbridge

Perhaps there are reasons why our young women are so 'pathetic': * they've been cuddled and attachment-parented since birth * they've been given stuff but not time by their parents * their boyfriends have been bombarded with online pornography * they've been bombarded with images suggesting they should be perfect physically * their diets have high amounts of highly refined and manufactured foods * they are bombarded with negative news * the information they get is constantly changing, and not necessarily reliable - there is no 'truth' * they have no concept or belief in god or divinity * they have come to expect instant gratification for everything

My niece is 16 and has a perfect life. She's beautiful, intelligent, sporty and has an intact family. Mental health issues through the roof. Must be culture...?

Attachment parenting is good for kids and less likely to result in Anxiety/Depression so no.

However parenting is only one of many factors that can contribute to anxiety/depression; there are so many other things that influence it including genetics; adverse experiences (deaths, near death experiences, critical illness of loved ones, bullying/abuse etc.)

@bofski14

"Anxiety" has become the new "Oh I'm so OCD" because someone likes things tidy or "Oh god I'm depressed" because they feel sad. Depression, OCD and anxiety are valid medical conditions that need therapy and or medication. The more people use the terms to describe themselves having a bad day, the more people with ACTUAL conditions are not taken seriously. It's really annoying for actual sufferers who have had their lives put on hold by these conditions.

I think the problem is that both anxiety and 'feeling down' are normal states for human beings. Everyone experiences a degree of anxiety or feeling down at some point in their lives.

Clinically significant anxiety disorders cause disruption in various aspects of a person's life and only a minority of people will receive an anxiety disorder diagnosis in their lifetime; just the same as Clinical Depression has a significant impact on someone's life and only a minority of the population will receive a 'Major Depressive Disorder' diagnosis in their lifetime

Lots of people on MN just love a label.

They get anxious about something and they have seen that "having anxiety" is a thing, so they label themselves.

See also:

Narcissist (nope - your MIL is just plain horrible)
Misophonia (not many people enjoy unpleasant noises)
Emetophobia (puking isn't generally enjoyable)
Norovirus (remember those days? - nobody on MN had a "bit of a dodgy tummy", they all had norovirus)

I am not trying to suggest that the above conditions don't exist, they clearly do and it must be very difficult for anyone having to experience them, but constantly "claiming" labels for stuff which is just part of everyday life is insulting to anyone who genuinely falls into any of the categories.

@thefuriousfuggler as a genuine emetophobe I agree. Mine affects almost every aspect of my life and having kids has been a massive challenge. I know when I meet a true fellow suffer and when someone is just bull-shitting 😂

Also “OCD” used for absolutely everything to do with attention to detail and cleanliness. My sister who has a formal diagnosis detests when people do this and everyone does. Her obsessions and compulsions are truly debilitating and for people to just casually throw “I’m so OCD” into a conversation just trivialises that.

@thefuriousfuggler

Lots of people on MN just love a label.

They get anxious about something and they have seen that "having anxiety" is a thing, so they label themselves.

See also:

Narcissist (nope - your MIL is just plain horrible)
Misophonia (not many people enjoy unpleasant noises)
Emetophobia (puking isn't generally enjoyable)
Norovirus (remember those days? - nobody on MN had a "bit of a dodgy tummy", they all had norovirus)

I am not trying to suggest that the above conditions don't exist, they clearly do and it must be very difficult for anyone having to experience them, but constantly "claiming" labels for stuff which is just part of everyday life is insulting to anyone who genuinely falls into any of the categories.

Very well said. 👏

No one seems to “have a cold” (pre Covid) it was always “I have the flu”. So much hyperbole.

YANBU

Anxiety - I know an individual with crippling anxiety and when people say I have anxiety and exaggerate whilst doing things that prove they don't....umm really
OCD - it's my OCD .... they say because they do a couple of things a few times more often or clean a lot (seriously that cleaning programme does no good for OCD generally)
Autism - I'm a bit autistic...!

“I’m a bit autistic”

That one is really, truly godawful. I can only imagine a parent of an autistic child wanting to floor someone who says that.

@BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou

No one seems to “have a cold” (pre Covid) it was always “I have the flu”. So much hyperbole

No hyperbole in this statement though.

I've been diagnosed with GAD for coming on 5 years.

Sorry but YABU.

There's a reason it's called an anxiety disorder, not anxiety. Anxiety is a state anyone can be in, and people can have anxiety about certain things. Literally the only difference between that and GAD is the frequency and severity of the emotion, and its impact on your life. We don't own the word 'anxiety' any more than the word 'panic' is owned by people with panic disorder.

And as for whether it's 'genuine,' we can't tell that from the outside, and it can be genuine even if you don't have a diagnosed anxiety disorder. Like you can be very upset without having clinical depression, or you can panic without having panic disorder.

I don't think there's any point gatekeeping who can say what just because some might have it worse. It's better that we can be more open about our feelings and not just think there's a black and white division between 'happy and fine' and 'diagnosed disorder'.

Good post @thefuriousfuggler.

People, and it seems to mainly apply to teenage girls / young women, seem to use anxiety as an excuse for not facing a situation.
Anxiety is a perfectly normal hormonal response. Feeling anxious / nervous about a situation is your body telling you to prepare. Just as adrenalin kicks in when a speeding car is hurtling towards you.
In my opinion, young people spend too much of their lives on line rather than actually living it. They've lost their individuality, both of thought and appearance. They need to learn that real life isn't perfect and that they will have to face up to things they don't like. By citing anxiety, depression, or mental health as an excuse to avoid a situation or as a pre-emptive excuse, we're going to end up with a whole generation who cannot deal with anything. We should be preparing our children to be strong, capable individuals. We are not doing them any favours by enabling this trend.
Clinical anxiety, depression or mental health issues should be taken seriously and dealt with appropriately.

I’ve learnt not to discuss my mental health problems as I think there is a desensitisation to anxiety which has arisen now lots of people say they have anxiety when they mean I am anxious about these things. I was repeatedly hospitalised for ten years because I became so anxious that I couldn’t eat and would vomit tens of times until
I was dehydrated and needed treatment for ketosis. It was only after being placed on antipsychotics that I could function more and I still can’t work, go out in the evening, go to new places alone, eat in public or eat much apart from bread leading to treatment for malnutrition. I will never be able to stop taking my medication despite the side effects including high cholesterol and being pre-diabetic.

But this isn’t a new concept - when I was diagnosed with clinical depression twenty years ago and put on antidepressants which I will also take for life - lots of people said they were also depressed when they probably meant they were having a tough time. But I think most people aren’t saying they have anxiety or depression to offend me and probably have some tough things to deal with and it’s not a competition etc as you will drown in two inches of water the same as a tsunami.

@elliejjtiny

YANBU. It's like when people say they're "a bit OCD" or "a bit autistic"

yep. I am very anxious about a lot of things, and probably could describe myself an 'anxious' person but i would never label myself as having 'anxiety' as I understand that to be a clinically defined thing which needs professional help. In my case, I just quite often need to get a grip.

That is true - anxiety, fear, sadness, anger etc are part of life. Not everything will run smoothly in life and we all have to feel these things and get over them and move on. In my, inexpert, opinion it is when people are unable to deal with these emotions that there is a mental health issue.

@Frazzled2207

i would never label myself as having 'anxiety'

But what do you have when you're feeling anxious? Stress? Panic? Surely the appropriate noun is 'anxiety', isn't it?

I have suffered from severe and debilitating anxiety since I was about 8 years old. I'm 30 now and it still rules my life. I have been on medication in the past but could no longer cope with the side effects. I hate stating that I have it because I know a lot of people think you're overreacting/attention seeking/making excuses. Maybe some people are, I don't know.

@Eckhart
agree to some extent it is semantics. What I mean is in my case it's not something that can be medically managed - it's just a trait of who I am and does not require special attention.

many people will require attention for their anxiety - and it would follow that they describe themselves as 'anxious' too - I suppose when you use it as a noun it in this case relates to a medical condition

It means you dont have to wear a mask though

@Frazzled2207

I suppose when you use it as a noun it in this case relates to a medical condition

Yes, and this is where the problem comes in. People suppose things, then talk to others as if their suppositions are the new rules. There's nothing anywhere that says the word 'anxiety' is now only to be used to define clinically diagnosed/diagnosable conditions (if there is, find it and post it on the thread), so, I suppose everybody can carry on using it, can't they? If they're feeling anxiety and need to express what they feel?

Pretending you're ill when you're not, I'm against. Taking a word and deciding it only applies to certain circumstances now, and any other use of it is 'casual' and offensive, I'm also against.

I think this is one of those things you have to have lived to understand but we have lots of staff off with anxiety atm. Isn't everyone feeling anxious atm? To me, medical anxiety is when you feel anxious without reason, whereas we all have big things going on atm.

but i would never label myself as having 'anxiety' as I understand that to be a clinically defined thing which needs professional help.

Then your understanding is wrong

@Eckhart
I see what you are saying and admit it's not ideal.
but I suppose it's one way (not saying it's the best way) of separating those with a genuine medical condition from those without. "diagnosed anxiety" would be one way of explaining that you really do need extra help.

But the whole point of the thread with respect to OP is that some people seem to like to label themselves as "having xyz" when in fact they're just healthy people with certain personality traits. And OP is perfectly reasonable to be irked by this.

Same as depression.

Anxiety and depression are diseases.

Feeling anxious or depressed can be a lot more low level.

@Doffodils

I think this is one of those things you have to have lived to understand but we have lots of staff off with anxiety atm. Isn't everyone feeling anxious atm? To me, medical anxiety is when you feel anxious without reason, whereas we all have big things going on atm.

Yeah I've always suffered with anxiety. Although it only takes something minor to.set it off now I've been no more anxious than normal during Covid. I'm more relaxed if anything.

@User158340

Anxiety and depression are diseases

Anxiety disorders and clinical depression, you mean.

Anxiety and depression are descriptors of emotions that everybody has sometimes.

The Oxford dictionary probably knows the meaning of the word best, doesn't it? It says that the medical definition is a subset of the more general definition. Rather than that the medical definition is the only definition, as claimed by many wrong people on this thread.

www.lexico.com/definition/anxiety