AIBU to complain about smear test experience?

[Ktmc94]

On Monday I contacted my GP surgery to get a new prescription for my pill. I spoke to the nurse who sorted that out but then proceeded to ambush me into a smear test appointment. I have looked into the screening for myself and was not convinced that I wanted to participate (I'm 26). I got flustered and agreed to the appointment thinking that at the very least I could have a discussion with her about it.

Then yesterday I arrived for my appointment. Blood pressure taken for pill and then I was weighed (didn't see the weight on the scale but I'm about a size 14/16). What came next was effectively a lecture about my weight which sent me reeling because I was already feeling nervous and uncomfortable about what was to come.

I was then ordered to strip behind the curtain without further ado, I tried to intimate that I was feeling apprehensive and was basically told to get on with it "it's only 20 seconds it's fine". No reassurance, no chat about the procedure or pros and cons of screening.

She then presented which, to me, looked like a rather large speculum and I voiced my concerns about it and was told that due to my weight a larger size was needed (I have never given birth). I was shell-shocked by this pronouncement and the bloody thing hurt before it was even opened but was once again told to relax and get on with it.

I left the appointment absolutely devastated at being lectured about my weight while feeling too vulnerable to assert myself. Fine, I need to do something about it but to launch immediately into a diabetes and heart disease lecture and then telling me that because I'm a bit chunky it means I must have a fat vag and offering no further explanation on the matter was just too much in my view.

I couldn't sleep last night tossing between wondering if I'm overreacting and feeling very upset about what happened. I phoned the practice manager this morning to discuss what had happened and was not encouraged. She skipped over the part about me trying to make an informed choice before deciding to screen and said "but you're 26 you should have had one by now" and "the nurse has been doing these on a daily basis for 30 odd years" and then rounded off by saying "not in any way to diminish your feelings about what happened" while having no comment on the fact that a weight lecture took up more of the appointment than some much needed reassurance about an invasive test.

I can't find anyone of any size who has been refused even a try with a smaller speculum and if I'm being honest I'm not massively fat, just pandemic misery has got me seeking dopamine in the biscuit tin but she could not have cared less about the state of my mental health. I'm still spotting and cramping which I had to find out for myself were side effects.

@Writersblock2

And the reason why GPs bring it up at every available opportunity is because they get monetary bonuses if a certain percentage of women st their practice agrees to be tested.

Funny that.

That would explain why they are so pushy and aggressive about it then.

@Circumlocutious

A smear is not a nice procedure. I can’t imagine many women would say, I love it, but equally for our own sake, it’s something we really should do.

It’s great being softly softly but the nurse hasn’t got time to reassure every patient for a prolonged period. What do they have, 10 mins each appointment?

Do you feel the same about other necessary medical procedures that people feel nervous about? Taking blood, administering a vaccine, having a prostrate exam, conducting a breast examination. No time for any reassurance or tact, no ‘softly softly’, just get stuck in because the patient should be grateful for what they’re getting?

I can see how these attitudes can filter down and lead to terrible quality healthcare and nursing. When are nurses not ever rushed for time, in any setting, at any point in the past decade?

We’ve probably all experienced the difference between excellent and compassionate care, and care at a very mediocre and dismissive level. I wish people would stop trying to act like that difference is irrelevant or doesn’t exist.

Oh my goodness, it’s a pandemic!!! How many times has it been reported that the NHS has never faced this kind of pressure? It’s on the news daily.

I’m surprised they are even doing smear tests at the moment and they might not be for much longer.

Where’s the understanding for the overstretched nurse? Putting herself at risk to try to help the general public? Yeah she probably has forgotten how it feels the first time and yes and her tone doesn’t sound overly sympathetic but if that was me, I’d ask for a different nurse next time. I wouldn’t complain and risk removing a nurse, to increase pressure on the other nurses or at worst they are too short staffed to offer this service to anyone. So it’s stopped altogether.

And what about the patients that are being kept in an ambulances for 6 hours waiting to be seen in A&E, should they complain? I mean that’s not great care is it? But of course no one should complain, the staff aren’t magicians, they can only do what they can do and the pressure they must be under will immense.

@luxxlisbon

OP you are projecting a look of things here. She didn't say you had a "fat vag" and no, obviously that isn't the only way to take it. They also use a larger speculum on women who are sexually active, does that mean they are basically calling them sluts? Of course not.

I don't think you would have been as angry about the smear if it didn't come after being warned about your weight.

For next time, it isn't really appropriate to go to the appointment and only then discuss whether you want the procedure done or not. As far as the nurse is concerned you are booked in for a smear, she doesn't know you are considering not actually doing it. You are your own advocate.

This this and this with bells on!!

I understand totally it will be very hard for someone who has maybe had a assault/ rape experience, but what are the cons for the general public?

Not just assault /rape, there are medical conditions that can make it painful such as vaginimus. The trauma (physical or mental) of a birth. The fact that some women may have only had no/only one sexual partner and decide that the risk is minimal. There are many reasons, and women have a right to say no for any of them or more.

[quote TableFlowerss]@Autumnterm

😂

In the current circumstances, I think you’d be grateful for anything and anyone![/quote]
You clearly have some strong opinions, but don’t tell me how I feel please. My views and feelings are my own.

How many times has it been reported that the NHS has never faced this kind of pressure? It’s on the news daily.

@TableFlowerss

The NHS and critical care is absolutely under pressure. What on earth does that has to do with community nursing and a smear test though? You do realise that 'nurse' isn't one job that covers ever sector, right? What would you suggest a community nurse who's not on the covid front line to do with their time if not carrying out their usual jobs?

I'm as concerned about the pressures on our hospitals as anyone, but throwing out 'Covid!' about any medical query or issue is ridiculous. The medical community is vast, not every part of it is currently focused on the virus.

I’m surprised they are even doing smear tests at the moment and they might not be for much longer.

As an aside, isn't this quite problematic? I do wonder what problems the NHS will face down the line because some routine care and checks haven't been given.

@BrumBoo

I understand totally it will be very hard for someone who has maybe had a assault/ rape experience, but what are the cons for the general public?

Not just assault /rape, there are medical conditions that can make it painful such as vaginimus. The trauma (physical or mental) of a birth. The fact that some women may have only had no/only one sexual partner and decide that the risk is minimal. There are many reasons, and women have a right to say no for any of them or more.

To further add to that. We are socialised our entire lives to cover up except for sexual intimacy

Let’s not pretend everyone can switch of that socialisation just because it’s a medial procedure. I hate them. It hurts, the sensation of something being where it shouldn’t etc etc . You don’t have to be a victim of sexual assault to find it unpleasant so let’s not belittle people who do!

Also everyone ripping into the OP for having her first smear at 26, isn’t it now 25 when you have your first?

Are you young enough to have had the cervical cancer vacccine op? Given they don’t test for abnormal cells but just the virus that causes them I don’t understand why we test people who’ve had the vaccine. It must be massively diminishing returns.

@BrumBoo

How many times has it been reported that the NHS has never faced this kind of pressure? It’s on the news daily.

@TableFlowerss

The NHS and critical care is absolutely under pressure. What on earth does that has to do with community nursing and a smear test though? You do realise that 'nurse' isn't one job that covers ever sector, right? What would you suggest a community nurse who's not on the covid front line to do with their time if not carrying out their usual jobs?

I'm as concerned about the pressures on our hospitals as anyone, but throwing out 'Covid!' about any medical query or issue is ridiculous. The medical community is vast, not every part of it is currently focused on the virus.

Perhaps because many many routine procedures have been cancelled because of covid?..........

The problem is, the more times smear tests are conducted in a way that makes the patient feel like shit, the less of then will take place as people will just say, no.
I personally haven't had one in many years because I had such a devastating experience the first time that left me feeling like I'd been assaulted. I spoke to someone at the practice about it the next time I was called in and they literally dismissed me as being "precious" and not understanding they're invasive so basically shut up love and get on with it. I've since ignored all calls and I'm near on 40.
It certainly was the start of my health anxiety.

I get that they are asked to speak about healthy choices, my GP and I had a chat about it when I went for something that couldn't wait after Christmas. But it was handled in such a nice way, basically admitting we've all eaten a bit more than normal, don't call it a diet as that just makes it miserable straight off, eat more veg and be kind to yourself. So it can be done sensitively
I find with older staff they are just brisk and can be incredibly rude. Especially nurses.
I would email the practice manager, explaining that you felt your comments were diminished and you feel no better. You expect an apology and for the surgery to take time to recognise that what they did was wrong in your case, and that you will be writing a relevant review on the NHS choices site for their surgery. I did that last year over by DS care and they soon sorted out a far better response and made a note we would not accept an appointment off the individual again.

@TheScurrilousFunge

I’m surprised they are even doing smear tests at the moment and they might not be for much longer.

As an aside, isn't this quite problematic? I do wonder what problems the NHS will face down the line because some routine care and checks haven't been given.

I agree. I dread to think the waiting lists for routine appointments.

You clearly have some strong opinions, but don’t tell me how I feel please. My views and feelings are my own

@Autumnterm

They are indeed your own. I’m pointing out, in an emergency, people are generally grateful for any help..... apologies if that doesn’t include you.

Perhaps because many many routine procedures have been cancelled because of covid?..........

Hospital procedures and treatments, and not all of those either. During last lockdown I still had appropriate gyna care when I needed it, despite being at the peak of the virus at the time.

Community and general care has continued where appropriate. Or do you think all other forms of nursing outside critical care been cancelled? Do you think they're going to stop doing blood tests and similar in your local surgery because there's a queue of ambulances outside the hospital miles away?

They are indeed your own. I’m pointing out, in an emergency, people are generally grateful for any help..... apologies if that doesn’t include you.

But a smear is usually just a routine appointment, are you always so melodramatic or is it just the pandemic that's getting you a bit over excited about the NHS? Because you don't seem to understand the system very well.

As an aside, isn't this quite problematic?

Yes very.

I do wonder what problems the NHS will face down the line because some routine care and checks haven't been given.

More cancers diagnosed at later stages, sadly.

I'm in two minds because if a health care professional is concerned about your weight for your health, then they are obligated to flag it up with you but on the other hand you should absolutely not be treated uncomfortably when you're going for an intimate appointment and they should have some tact. Personally, when I had my smear test I found the nurse callous and rough, it really hurt, I bled afterwards and I cried in my car when I left because I did not feel at ease at all. I think it is just one of those really unpleasant things we have to go through. My best advice would be to try and forget about it. Likeliness is she'll be doing your next smear test in a few years!

@TableFlowerss from what I can tell, OP isn't suggesting or considering going to the NMC, or calling for the nurse to be sacked. Emailing to give some written feedback to the nurse is entirely appropriate and very unlikely to lead to any significant issues for the nurse (unless she is already under the radar for other issues and this is not an isolated incident). Complaints and feedback are part and parcel of healthcare. Yes it sucks when you get one about you, but reflecting and learning can lead to better care.

Ultimately, I feel that you have a core view that we should accept any level of medical care we are lucky enough to receive during this pandemic. And I disagree with that. Ambulances waiting 6 hours to unload is unavoidable at the moment... I do not feel this poor patient encounter was unavoidable. You call it being 'softly softly' I call it basic compassion and communication before an intimate procedure.

I'll leave it there Table, all the best.

@BrumBoo

Perhaps because many many routine procedures have been cancelled because of covid?..........

Hospital procedures and treatments, and not all of those either. During last lockdown I still had appropriate gyna care when I needed it, despite being at the peak of the virus at the time.

Community and general care has continued where appropriate. Or do you think all other forms of nursing outside critical care been cancelled? Do you think they're going to stop doing blood tests and similar in your local surgery because there's a queue of ambulances outside the hospital miles away?

I wouldn’t be surprised unless it was for something they deemed important.if staff go off sick they work on skeleton staff levels so something will have to give.

@BrumBoo

They are indeed your own. I’m pointing out, in an emergency, people are generally grateful for any help..... apologies if that doesn’t include you.

But a smear is usually just a routine appointment, are you always so melodramatic or is it just the pandemic that's getting you a bit over excited about the NHS? Because you don't seem to understand the system very well.

I’m talking about the current circumstances, you know when you watch the news and staff from all areas across the NHS are being drafted in to help out during the pandemic

For God's sake OP. I don't even know where to begin, it's probably easier to just say YABVU on all fronts.

@TheScurrilousFunge

I’m surprised they are even doing smear tests at the moment and they might not be for much longer.

As an aside, isn't this quite problematic? I do wonder what problems the NHS will face down the line because some routine care and checks haven't been given.

Depends which surgeries I think. I have had the reminder, but that comes from a central place, not the surgery itself.

I'd have thought the risk was minimal though - covid doesn't spread via the nether regions.

Or do you think all other forms of nursing outside critical care been cancelled? Do you think they're going to stop doing blood tests and similar in your local surgery because there's a queue of ambulances outside the hospital miles away

Yes people have posted on here about "routine" blood tests being cancelled by GPs. Not because they don't have capacity, because they deem them not necessary. Well it may be routine to the surgery but it's not routine to the person concerned.

@Dundundunnn

For God's sake OP. I don't even know where to begin, it's probably easier to just say YABVU on all fronts.

Why? Far too easy to throw in that sort of useless comment - rather than provide support.

Dear women of MN. Not everyone has easy periods. And not everyone has easy smear tests. So learn some empathy and stop being so nasty because you can hide behind anonymity.

YABU. Take responsibility for your health in all ways.

[quote djddjj]@TableFlowerss from what I can tell, OP isn't suggesting or considering going to the NMC, or calling for the nurse to be sacked. Emailing to give some written feedback to the nurse is entirely appropriate and very unlikely to lead to any significant issues for the nurse (unless she is already under the radar for other issues and this is not an isolated incident). Complaints and feedback are part and parcel of healthcare. Yes it sucks when you get one about you, but reflecting and learning can lead to better care.

Ultimately, I feel that you have a core view that we should accept any level of medical care we are lucky enough to receive during this pandemic. And I disagree with that. Ambulances waiting 6 hours to unload is unavoidable at the moment... I do not feel this poor patient encounter was unavoidable. You call it being 'softly softly' I call it basic compassion and communication before an intimate procedure.

I'll leave it there Table, all the best. [/quote]
I don’t disagree with you’re views for the most part, I really don’t. I don’t think a cold callous nurse should is best place in a job like that and I agree it’s not nice.

Under normal circumstances I would say yes complain, but I’m sympathetic to the nurse because I assume she’s under enormous stress.

It would be the same if someone complained about you at work today and you came on here tonight to vent, I would stick up for you. I would say how whilst you might have, I don’t know, snapped at a patient, it must be horrendous having to work under the pressure right now. So I’d be saying they should cut you some slack.

Anyway, I am sorry if you thought my reply was harsh last night. It was. I do very much respect what you do and I am grateful to all the NHS staff and I suppose that’s why I get more frustrated as I feel they often can’t win.

Women who refuse future smear tests after having a painful one or one done by a bitch of a nurse need to think how they are only potentially hurting themselves. They aren't stocking an up yours finger to the nurse. She doesn't care..