How to bag a wealthy man?

[Simonstrousers]

Realise I’m going to get flamed for this, but how many of you if you really were completely honest, would prefer to be with a wealthy man, given the choice?
How do you attract them, what type of women do they go for?
I live abroad, 10 minutes away are multi millionaire pound villas, extensive gyms and restaurants etc. I’ve seen these men with a mix of women..some much younger and glamorous (fairly obvious) but many of the wives are fairly quiet and quite plain.
How go these women generally end up with these men?

Either they don't go for the shallow gold digger types or they are shallow themselves and only date people of a similar background to themselves. Either way you're going to struggle...

@wonderup

Is there any evidence they are the exception? My cousin is a divorce lawyer, most clients have millions, she's always busy.

Well, to get evidence you would have to do an empirical survey of all of those within a certain income bracket.

Otherwise, its anecdotal, and might have a geographical bias. Who knows?

I was reading about the Bowes-Lyon family, who have produced a real cracker in the current heir (currently awaiting trial for sexual assault in his own castle). Apparently his father found his third wife working in the village ironmonger's. So theres an idea for you OP!

I only really know self made business types and lower grade aristos/trust fund types. The latter seem more prone to divorces and to marrying artists and actors for some reason. My purely personal observations!

Well, to get evidence you would have to do an empirical survey of all of those within a certain income bracket.

Otherwise, its anecdotal, and might have a geographical bias. Who knows?

I know, that's why I said in my experience you seemed certain though hence why I asked.

@Labobo - so if a woman ends up with a rich bloke she met at the top of the oxo tower, do they end up with the "bisto kids". I now have a vision of Linda Bellingham before me.

More to the point dd is 22. DH got home at 8ish tonight - getting on and winding down. I said to her why don't you skip to the front door and exclaim "daddy" like when you were little. She gave me an eye roll " FGS mummy, I was always in bed asleep when he came home when I was little".

@RosesAndHellebores

Not read since I last posted.

Is OP still here?

Had OP thought about an end of days situation?

I earn 3X DH and I like working.

In the event of a zombie apocalypse. He will be worth his weight in gold.

Me and the DD's are all on the slight side. He's twice my size and an ex rugby player

I reckon I'd make a great sniper.

But. When it comes to fighting off zombies, tearing bits off buildings to make a den etc. He would do that way better. Under my guidance on which bits etc obv.

In short. Someone who complements their partner is best, surely.

That's what I have and it works for us.

I imagine a rich man would want to control me to an extent. Fuck that.

I'll make my own money and have a hot strong younger man, who is devoted to me and the kids

I imagine a rich man would want to control me to an extent. Fuck that.

why do you imagine that ?

My partner is wealthy
I didn't realise until months later after meeting
He lived in an end terrace so I assumed it was a house that didn't cost much
He drove an old car and said he worked in IT

Later I realised he lived in a very smart area and the house was worth a lot more than I would've imagined

That his work in IT was actually an IT manager for a plc

The car was driven until it died and then he treated himself to a more expensive one

Lesson here - the rich ones don't always show it

I love DH, we both earn a decent amount between us, but some days I think cripes would be nice if he was rich and I could sit around doing fuck all. Ahhhh.

On the other hand, I've known men reject women as potential girlfriends because of their jobs/education level. It will be euphemised as 'not having enough in common', but in at least two cases, it was very clear they just saw her as beneath them.

I’m sure this happens, but I think it’s far more common for men to be intimidated by very smart and powerful women - it effectively neutralises their role as ‘the provider’ or knight in shining armour.

I think a lot of people are more impacted by their subconscious than they realise. It certainly sounds very archaic to talk about the man as the provider and women as maternal etc, but many women do seem as perturbed by the man ‘out mothering’ them as men do by the women ‘out providering’ them. There have been loads of threads on here from angsty mums about how their husbands is so much better with the baby etc.

But these threads always remind me that our PC ideals do not reflect the reality of our society....

I would

I have an old school friend whose a millionaire. Multiple houses all over the world, private jets, yatchs etc etc.

His wife is younger, long blond hair, very good looking, nice person, liked by all his many daughters from previous relationships-so I guess that's a thing.

She has her own business and flies the jet.

She met him when she was running her own business and he was going through a bad period mentally. She was a sort of life coach for the rich.

I know three people who set out to do this @Simonstrousers and did. They specifically wanted a high flying, wealthy man that would allow them a great life where they wouldn't have to work.

Person 1 - He loves her way more than she loves him. He is public school educated and very well spoken, a range of interests, very down to earth, kind. She's working class, worked in a paint shop, lovely parents and sibling, but she has an edge that's hard to explain. She got a job at an oil company and meeting men was definitely a reason behind it. Never went to Uni though very bright with A grades and could have had her pick, her belief is it was too much work. He has a Masters and PhD. He asked her out and she very cruely rejected him. It was only when he met someone else she threw herself at him and he married her. Not a marriage I'd want and in truth I feel a bit sorry for him. She also passive aggressively puts him down all the time. Terrible dynamic. Occasionally she will admit she was jealous of all wealthy people had and wanted that for herself.

Person 2 - She was engaged and realized she'd likely always be the breadwinner with her community 20k year NHS job. He earned a bit less. She kicked him to the curb telling him she wanted someone with more potential, retrained, moved to London, applied for jobs in Canary Wharf and bagged her boss. A public educated, met the Queen at social events, very arrogant man who in truth wasn't very good looking or at ease socially and she is very bubbly, the life of the party, well liked instantly and confident. She had traits he I'm sure wishes he had. He's very anti social but very high income with parents that will die and leave him millions of inheritance. As soon as they were engaged she quit work and has never worked again. Lives in a 2 million pound home in the home counties, gardener, ironing lady, twice weekly cleaning lady, weekly dinner parties costing 500-800 and 3 dc in fee paying schools totaling 45k/year and rising as they get older. Honestly i would not swap lives, she has no equality in the relationship, she's there to please him and it is very much let me get you a drink the second he arrives home. He's away loads, not an involved parent though is better than she thought he'd be and part of me feels she sold so much of herself to marry him. Their home is immaculate and it is expected it is always to be that way, after all she doesn't "work" - his standards not mine. Even after the birth of all of her dc she was in a rush to get back to her perfect weight as he had started calling her "the whale". He wants a trophy wife and it's her job to be that. Not for all the tea in China would I do that.

Person 3 - also NHS worker, angry she didn't get a Dr. Joined dating agencies adn looked for older men (a decade +) who had never been married, had good jobs adn wanted to settle down. She met someone 12 years older, she's attractive and confident. At 40 he was shocked a career 28 year old wanted him. They married within a year and he dropped dead a year later.

I think people who set out to do this may be pleased with material things the rich men bring them. But of the three people I know above, none are truly happy. That's not me judging them, but things they've admitted. They use words to describe their marriage that are so telling.

Now, I think you can meet someone and this not be the case, whether they are wealthy or happen to become wealthy. It's the mindset of finding someone wealthy that seems to create a paradigm in a relationship I don't think most people would want.

I didn’t set out to bag a super wealthy DH, but I did have a rule that I generally wouldn’t date men who earned significantly less than I did. I didn’t want to end up in the position of main breadwinner and unable to work PT once I had children. I knew that by my mid 30s my salary would be nudging 6 figures. I broke my rule on several occasions and always found that the men were very happy to be passengers in the relationship- I was definitely the driving force.....which probably explains why I was heading for 6 figures and they weren’t. Often they were terrified of my ambition. I dated a few obscenely wealthy men. Most worked in finance or had their own companies. Where to meet these people? On holiday (esp if you holiday in tax havens or ex pat hang outs)....if you pick expensive holidays you are likely to only find other people who can afford them, blind dates set up by friends (again all people in the same ish financial bracket). If you live in a wealthy area you are much more likely to meet these types. There are always chance meetings -Rebekah Vardy met jamie in a club), but as a general rule you are unlikely to bag a millionaire if you are working in the chippy in bognor Regis.
DH earns mid 6 figures. I still work. Almost all the women I know married to wealthy men still work.

The majority of dental, medical and law undergraduate students in the Uk are female

The majority of dental, medical and law graduates will not be able to afford to put 2+ DC through private school.

The majority of dental, medical and law graduates will not be able to afford to put 2+ DC through private school.

really?! Just how expensive are the private schools in the UK?! Or... How little are the doctors, dentists and lawyers being paid.

I'm in Australia and we all live on my DH's salary as a doctor and all of our DC are being privately educated. I have heard that private schools in the UK are more expensive than here but I didn't realise that the difference was so vast.

30k a year

@wonderup

30k a year

for secondary on average. Boarding schools more

TooManyKidsSendHelp

Actually I was talking to someone yesterday who is relocating to Oz. Do you pay for all schools there? They are going to put their dc info private because apparently it's pretty cheap b

🤣🤣🤣 OK this is funny. I have no advice but it made me LOL. My DH works in the city and there are certain pubs/bars where single ladies trawling for rich chaps go and stand about like peacocks. Spoiler alert... don't be one of those 😂

We have free public schools (which is the same as UK state schools) but their quality is very variable dependent on area. I'm in a rural area and the public schools here are, frankly, crap. However in the more cosmopolitan areas they can be quite good. It's a bit of a postcode lottery.

There is a sliding scale of private schools, ranging from the frighteningly expensive to the very affordable. I know families where the parents are both in minimum wage jobs and still manage to send their kids to the more affordable private schools.

Hi OP!

Can I ask what is behind your question as I wonder if what you are looking for is the world that non rich people think rich people have? A world where the day to day complexities don’t exist? Because I imagine that behind that veneer are people who work very hard to ensure that the day to complexities are minimised so that they can concentrate on other things (career/business/networking, etc).

I read something perhaps on here that stuck with me that said ‘don’t judge your interior by others exteriors’ and I think it is a good quote. I cannot say that the people I know who are rich are happier than those who are not. I watched a documentary recently about someone who I think could easily be classed in that category and what struck me was how desperately unhappy this person was with absolutely no idea on how to fix the real things causing him difficulty in his life.

Finally, I wrote a post on here before Christmas about dating someone who was from a wealthy and well known background. I was very insecure about getting into a relationship with him as the differences put me off (even though we had something in common through work). The other posters quite rightly picked up on the fact that the wealth was a red herring for something else - I had drifted so far into complacency in my own career and was not producing anything of the kind of quality I knew I could do that I had put myself completely on the back burner. Since then, I’ve worked really hard to get back up to speed and focus on what I am doing at the kind of standard I can work at. I think the posters on here are trying to get you to see that wealth/success and the ease it can bring to your life (along with the problems) are a consequence of working hard and achieving success by your own accomplishments and then you might naturally meet someone who is also successful in their own right.

That ha to be the best way for happiness, surely? You can’t compromise yourself ever and we are able now to live in a time and place where women don’t have to.

What are your talents, OP? Where could you be?🙂🤔

There is a sliding scale of private schools, ranging from the frighteningly expensive to the very affordable. I know families where the parents are both in minimum wage jobs and still manage to send their kids to the more affordable private schools.

How are the cheaper ones funded?