To treat myself

[FolkyFoxFace]

I'm due to give birth in the next few months - it's my first baby.

I've spent most of my pregnancy trying really hard to save as much as possible for the baby, getting things prepared. I've bought myself a few nice bits and bobs of maternity wear, but to be honest ended up mainly in PJ's or lounge wear due to lockdown.

Anyway, now that it's getting closer I'm thinking of treating myself to a big box of nice things from myself...mainly for that first month/few weeks after birth.

So far I've thought about a nice perfume, PJ's/nighties, maybe some bath stuff (if I'm allowed to get baths?), maybe a book or two. I don't want to go overboard and I don't want DH to choose things, because as lovely as he is he won't know exactly what I need. Although I'm not sure I do at the moment!

I am however struggling with the idea of wasting money - am I unreasonable to get some nice bits, or will it be a total waste?

If I'm not unreasonable, is my list crap or missing something major? I've got an older sister with kids but she didn't bother as she was gifted all kinds - I'm not a fan of even virtual baby showers so it's on me!

If you can still pay the bills/buy food etc then no, of course you're not being unreasonable to buy yourself things.

However,
I find the concept of it being 'treating yourself' because you've had a baby a bit odd...the baby IS the treat! Feel free to hand them over, a newborn would be a lovely treat for me! (50 now, no more babies 😢)

That aside, how are you sorted for Netflix/Brit box/prime/whatever is.

Maybe a couple of magazines (easier to read than a book when you're beyond tired) mine are 'special interest rather than fashion/celebs)

Do you have a nice 'stay hot' cup if you drink tea/coffee?

Cosy socks?

Cosy wrap/cardi (that you can jeep on if you intend to bf)

Cushions/throws

A sign fir the front door? 'Do not knock, if you wake the baby I WILL kill you'

Nice note book & some pens. There's always stuff you think of while pinned under a baby & handy fir recording stuff like feeding times (though you probably have all the apps!!)

Number 4 hook, some yarn & you tube. Teach yourself to crochet.

Maybe more like a room than a bix 🤣

@AmelieTaylor

If you can still pay the bills/buy food etc then no, of course you're not being unreasonable to buy yourself things.

However,
I find the concept of it being 'treating yourself' because you've had a baby a bit odd...the baby IS the treat! Feel free to hand them over, a newborn would be a lovely treat for me! (50 now, no more babies 😢)

That aside, how are you sorted for Netflix/Brit box/prime/whatever is.

Maybe a couple of magazines (easier to read than a book when you're beyond tired) mine are 'special interest rather than fashion/celebs)

Do you have a nice 'stay hot' cup if you drink tea/coffee?

Cosy socks?

Cosy wrap/cardi (that you can jeep on if you intend to bf)

Cushions/throws

A sign fir the front door? 'Do not knock, if you wake the baby I WILL kill you'

Nice note book & some pens. There's always stuff you think of while pinned under a baby & handy fir recording stuff like feeding times (though you probably have all the apps!!)

Number 4 hook, some yarn & you tube. Teach yourself to crochet.

Maybe more like a room than a bix 🤣

These are lovely ideas, thank you! I especially like the idea of some new notebooks - I'm much more a writing down person than an app sort. It's made me think that a diary would be a nice idea, too, to capture the early moments!

I phrased it badly with the "treat myself" comment I think; what I really mean is what can I get that will be useful and comfortable in those first few weeks! I'm not a big spender on myself at all, so anything new in one go feels a bit odd to me!

Go for it! Pregnancy and birth take a lot out of us, and newborns are hard work (lovely of course, but hard work nonetheless). Definitely treat yourself, you’ll be glad you did :) good luck with everything! X

@CouldntThinkOfAUsrname

Go for it! Pregnancy and birth take a lot out of us, and newborns are hard work (lovely of course, but hard work nonetheless). Definitely treat yourself, you’ll be glad you did :) good luck with everything! X

Thank you! I'm feeling a lot less daft for considering it now. I know how knackered I'm going to be, so some nice easy comforts felt like a good idea...I just had visions of getting things and then kicking myself/never using them! 😂 X

Maybe don't buy too much now. Wait until the baby is born, you might enjoy online shopping on your phone while you are up feeding at night.

You may not read books at all. I only had time to read on my phone with small kids, and the pile of unread books both tempted and depressed me. I only managed a lovely bath twice in the first year (think short dips to soothe the agony of taking a crap with awful piles). Once DP back at work, I became brilliant at extremely quick showers.

As for crocheting?! Don't make me laugh, unless you have found a new way of doing it with one hand!

Lockdown mums don't get much time to themselves typically.

Personally I didn't use strong fragrance around the baby as in my family it has been known to trigger allergies and irritate newborns. On the contrary, I switched my deodorant to fragrance free, stopped using perfume and used only very gently scented products for me as I do for baby.

Things I found useful were:

• good quality vitamins pills to support breastfeeding
• range of herbal teas as not drinking much caffeine due to breastfeeding
• setting up an order with our milkman for delivery of fruit juice and fresh pastries every Saturday morning
• Tucks and tea tree oil, to help with soothing painful bits and piles post-birth
• a couple of good baby slings second hand from eBay so I could try different styles.
• a slow cooker to make it easier to manage getting meals for the family when DP went back to work
• a decent waterproof (can't hold a brolly whilst pushing a pram)

The best treat anyone gave me post-birth was an inflatable donut-shaped ring, I was in agony from piles and stitches from episiotomy for weeks and breastfeeding sitting up was so painful.

I'm not saying don't buy yourself treats, but maybe what seems like a treat now won't seem like a treat when the baby arrives.

I agree you should hang fire on the books and perfume. My 6 week old is so fussy about scents I’ve had to switch to unscented soap and deodorant, and no time to read though I used to be voracious!

Dressing gown or cardigan is a good idea. Really good quality nipple balm. A decent flask or insulated bottle. Audiobooks. Good slippers. Nice food. All things I’ve appreciated!

To the excellent advice listed, I’d also add...

-some bath or shower items, I used to enjoy a long bath when DH got home
-comfortable knickers (something that won’t ride up, hurt your undercarriage or c-section)

• coffee/tea stuff and decent snacks (granola/protein bars) that you can eat easily, because getting food during the day whilst home alone with a newborn was hard

-lots of streaming telly options, for all the hours spent sat BFing -comfortable sweats, as you won’t wanna wear your maternity clothes much longer

And congratulations and best wishes

Epsom salts to put in the bath help with a stingy undercarriage if you have stitches.
A.big water bottle if you're breastfeeding especially useful when your partner returns to work. I'd recommend one with a straw.
Cosy socks, cardigan and soft bottoms would be nice too

What a lovely idea 🙃

If I could go back to having DC1 then I'd treat myself to a nice water bottle, insulated coffee cup, a feeding apron and some nice snacks. And maybe some nice slippers & socks as he was an Autumn baby. I used to have baths after I had him but I didnt want to use any overly scented products.

I agree with previous posters and would look for some nice lounge wear, a well-stocked snack basket, decent size water bottle. If you like to read and budget allows then maybe a kindle? Reading an actual book whilst holding a baby or feeding is impossible.
My little one is 10 months and I still can't wear perfume, it makes his face blotchy, and sadly I think I've only had 2 baths since he was born (perfected the 3 minute shower though!) Good luck x

Absolutely, OP! Get yourself some practical things like comfy pj's, snacks, a cup with a straw will be a lifesaver if you have a sleepy baby on you!
My sister would recommend you get a basket of essentials to keep near you. Keep a book,notebook,snack,water bottle, hairbands etc in it and if baby falls asleep on you you'll have anything you need. A charging block thing for your phone will help too.

Perfume would be lovely but you'd have to be careful wearing it around baby as they'll be snuggled in your neck a lot and you'll be washing your hands so much you'll wipe it off your wrists! Some nice deodorant might be enough to perk you up though.

Some good, comfortable granny pants will be a godsend in the first few weeks and beyond. Make sure you have plenty and keep on top of washing so you can freshen up as often as needed. And keep 2 pairs at the back of a drawer in case you run out- you really don't wanna be handwashing a pair of knickers and blowdrying them while holding a newborn!

Btw, you're allowed to have treats other than the baby. The baby won't always be a treat, and you're allowed to look forward to eating a bar of chocolate more than you look forward to another sleepless night. Any feelings you have regarding motherhood are valid!

Best of luck to you, OP. You've got such an exciting time ahead, I hope it's everything you dreamt it would be.

Get some really good quality hand cream. You wash your hands so much with a newborn, and it's an easy treat.

If I had my time again I'd definitely arrange more food deliveries/easy food options/fabulous snacks.

If you can afford it, do it.

I’d recommend:

• a straw type water bottle (that you don’t have to tip to drink)
• an insulated cup. I used mine for cold drinks while in hospital
• a big bar of your favourite chocolate (Lindt excellence for me!) or bag of sweets
• a kindle - much easier to read one handed when stuck under a baby
• extra long charging cable for your phone
• Netflix or similar subscriptions

I wouldn’t bother with new clothes, you don’t go back to your prebaby size straight away, and it takes time for your uterus to go back to its normal size so you still look a bit pregnant for a while after. I’d save that treat for a bit. Socks are always good though!

Depending on what you have already or your preferences, one of those little book lights or a kindle for reading in dim light. A comfortable pair of headphones for watching things on the ipad without waking the baby. Comfy lounge wear so if you feel like it you can change out of your pjs but still be comfy. I found a v shaped pillow invaluable for feeding comfortably.

@AmelieTaylor @FolkyFoxFace please acknowledge that although a baby is a blessing please don't set the OP up to think her baby is a treat and there won't be hard times ahead. This kind of statement implying OP must be absolutely in awe of her baby is not fair . Having a baby is a treat yes but it is hard work and OP you absolutely do deserve a treat and please continue to treat yourself when baby is here you must look after yourself , you need those treats to recharge you so you can then look after baby but always remember your oxygen first . Sometimes sleep deprivation, missing your old life doesn't feel like a treat and that's ok because having a baby is a big change and it's important to realise these feelings are normal please don't make women feel there baby must be a treat to them it is hard work too and they deserve their treats too.

I haven't rtft so I'm probably repeating others, but Epsom salts for healing baths, and some arnica cream. A water bottle. Small thermos flask. Lansinoh nipple cream. Nice fluffy socks. Nice chocolates. Dry shampoo. Don't bother with perfume, the baby will want your natural scent. Also don't bother wirh anything you can't do one handed, including books probably!

OP I would wait until your baby is born.

You have no idea what you will want/need until your LO arrives.
You will have a lot of time sitting wih a baby in the early days to think of stuff that may be a treat.
For instance perfume- was totally off the cards whan I had infants. My babies liked to snuggle into my neck, over my shoulder, and I didn;t want them smelling of some synthetic fragrance.
I would set the money aside for now, you can order stuff online as and when you need it after the arrival.

Treats

-subscription to audible
-AirPods

• milk frother to make nice hot chocolates
• travel mug for carrying hot chocolate

-drinks cup holder for pram

• neals yard mothers blend incense
• lush magic cream
• chocolate
• decent warm socks for pram walks for yourself and good shoes for walking

I wouldn't get perfume you won't want your newborn smelling of it.

I would get skincare personally, after my baby was the first time I really started to take 10 mins for myself in an evening(and to avoid me looking like death ha).

Espa overnight hydration is a lovely cream and I like their serum too.

Books are good. I read so many. But I ended up reading feel good series I'd read before as I couldn't concentrate on new or complicated!

Hello! I have an 8 week old baby. Some notes:

• impossible to hold a book and a baby, but kindle on my phone works well. Make sure any books downloaded are page turners. If it’s hard work you won’t bother reading.

• decent nursing pillow

• nice nipple balm with lanolin

• nice comfy big black cotton pants (hold maternity pads better, hug your tummy)

• hot water bottle for staying snuggly warm in early hours and keeping baby mattress warm

• cotton cardigans for layers with boob access. Fluffy ones will send fibres everywhere in baby eyes and mouth.

• DECENT LEGGINGS. Honestly I have been living in Sweaty Betty leggings - they feel nice and secure around the middle so are flattering yet still stretchy. I felt like a slobby mess in floppy bottoms but in nice Sweaty Bettys and layered cotton tops I looked and felt human. They might still have some in the Xmas sale

• seconding the donut cushion. Life saver.

• you might want to save your pennies for subscription services to keep you awake in early hours when baby is v young or keep occupied when stuck on sofa feeding all day

• mild scented bath oil (can only use once stitches healed) for my one time of peace.

• cotton dressing gown for hospital and home. Towelling ones are comfy but they are often too bulky and big for handling a newborn safely.

Honestly don’t spend much. Every baby is different so you may find yourself having to buy bits more specifically for your baby in the weeks after birth. And when you are post-partum you will know more about what will make you feel good.

There are other sorts of treats as well - I think I ate Brie for lunch for a week after birth, as I had missed squidgy cheese so much. Food was VERY important after the birth. Combination of healing energy, breast feeding, exhaustion. Everyone kept sending flowers and champagne but the friend who brought 5 Tupperwares of food was a lifesaver. Flowers are a chore after birth and no one wants to drink champagne on 4 broken hours of sleep.

One of my babies hated me wearing perfume!! I guess I smelt wrong.

Have you got an e-reader? Really good for reading during long, nighttime feeds. They are pricey, but there is a kindle app too.

Nakd bars for nighttime snacks

Also, ignore the PP saying a baby is treat in itself. You 100% deserve to be treated. Being pregnant is hard, giving birth is hard, and newborns are solid hard work. And that’s without a pandemic. Your body has been slogging it for months even before the main event. Post-partum women in the early weeks should be treated like queens!

Snacks, water bottle and travel mug a must. I was able to read books fine (although it seems others have struggled) while feeding although nothing that was too taxing! A Netflix/prime etc subscription. A nice set of pjs/nightie and dressing gown, and slippers.

I had these things called lanisoh therapearl and they could be used as hot or cold packs on boobs and they were heaven! Now in use as bumped knee ice packs

[quote nininani]@AmelieTaylor* *@FolkyFoxFace please acknowledge that although a baby is a blessing please don't set the OP up to think her baby is a treat and there won't be hard times ahead. This kind of statement implying OP must be absolutely in awe of her baby is not fair . Having a baby is a treat yes but it is hard work and OP you absolutely do deserve a treat and please continue to treat yourself when baby is here you must look after yourself , you need those treats to recharge you so you can then look after baby but always remember your oxygen first . Sometimes sleep deprivation, missing your old life doesn't feel like a treat and that's ok because having a baby is a big change and it's important to realise these feelings are normal please don't make women feel there baby must be a treat to them it is hard work too and they deserve their treats too. [/quote]
@nininani very wise words

@FolkyFoxFace some of the best advice I've seen regarding "treats for mum" on here has been to make a "survival basket" (or bag) that you can easily carry with one hand and access while breastfeeding/cuddling/being slept on. I only found this suggestion after I had my first, but I'll be making use of it with my second (due later in the year)!
List of things I'll be putting in there: snacks (I like flapjack, oats are good for milk supply and you an instant hit of sugar as well as long release energy), drink bottle, lip balm, hand cream, kindle or book, spare muslin, spare breast pads, nipple cream.

Other things I'm going to get for myself before baby number 2:

Bottoms Up (soothing spray) from Natural Birthing Company (found in Boots). I used it first time round and found it really good. Other people like "Spritz for Bits" which is very similar.

Low (but nice) scent toiletries for hospital bag and to use at home afterwards. Body Shop 'honey and almond' was lovely last time.

New pyjamas (or loungewear) with easy access for breastfeeding. I spent way more time in pyjamas than I thought I would last time round!

Chocolate. Lots of. Hehe