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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lodger eating my food

81 replies

Confusedashell12 · 12/01/2021 23:46

My lodger has admitted to eating food out of my pan - leftovers from what I cooked, that I went back and put into a container to eat the next day. I must have been gone for no more than 20 mins. She claims to have had one spoon.

I find this utterly repulsive. AIBU?

OP posts:
SonjaMorgan · 13/01/2021 00:02

@Confusedashell12

SonjaMorgan it wasn’t food poisoning
Well yeah, that was the point I was making. You stated you had a "tummy ache".
sadcatdiary · 13/01/2021 00:06

snort Aye.

Butchyrestingface · 13/01/2021 00:07

@Confusedashell12

My lodger has admitted to eating food out of my pan - leftovers from what I cooked, that I went back and put into a container to eat the next day. I must have been gone for no more than 20 mins. She claims to have had one spoon.

I find this utterly repulsive. AIBU?

I'm confused. Where did she take the food from - your pan or a container?

And how did the subject even come up? Did you confront her and ask if she'd eaten food from your pan/container/wherever?

safariboot · 13/01/2021 00:07

YANBU. I agree with you, she probably ate straight from the pan without thinking (or without caring) that you'd be saving leftovers. "One spoon" my arse.

NoOneOwnsTheRainbow · 13/01/2021 00:08

Because you keep your spoons dirty?
@Sinful8 funny how on another thread you're being outright nasty telling everyone to wear a mask or they'll drop dead, yet here you're going in the opposite direction.
Are you confused about basic hygiene and how germs get around or just very thick?

Cherrysoup · 13/01/2021 00:09

@Confusedashell12 don’t provide food as part of the lodger agreement. I’ve never commented when she’s taken tinned food as I’m not fussed over a few quid here and there.

Seriously?! She’s taking your stuff and you don’t mind? Tell her! She’s stealing from you and you’re letting her. Get some boundaries, woman! What next, she jumps in the bath with you to share water?

ClareBlue · 13/01/2021 00:10

Breaking things might not be her fault as there are plenty with dispraxia that don't understand it or know about it and just think they are clumsy.

Original poster
Confusedashell12 · 13/01/2021 00:11

Butchyrestingface from the pan

There was too much to throw away

She mentioned it few days later and said what a good cook I am Confused

OP posts:
echt · 13/01/2021 00:11

I think it's the possibility of double dipping: spoon to mouth then back to pan again.

Original poster
Confusedashell12 · 13/01/2021 00:15

She said she was really hungry so took a spoon

That’s why I think it was more than a spoon

Feels so invasive

OP posts:
LizFlowers · 13/01/2021 00:24

@Confusedashell12

sinful8 because I don’t believe it was just one spoon and she isn’t the most hygienic person

In fact I developed a bad tummy ache soon after I had the left overs - and I never, ever get bad tummy aches

Poor wittle tum tums. Bless.

If you had food poisoning, you'd have more than that.

Yes she shouldn't have done it but it probably looked nice and she gave in to temptation.

Butchyrestingface · 13/01/2021 00:26

@Confusedashell12

Butchyrestingface from the pan

There was too much to throw away

She mentioned it few days later and said what a good cook I am Confused

In that case, YABU. What an over reaction.

Are you sure you're cut out for having a lodger? Many are called, but few are chosen...

WorraLiberty · 13/01/2021 00:31

Ok I was kind of understanding how you might feel a bit until...

Feels so invasive

She didn't rifle through your knicker drawer Confused

sazzysazz337 · 13/01/2021 00:31

what an overreaction

Jenasaurus · 13/01/2021 00:36

I sort of get you OP, when I went to visit my DSIS she had a housemate at Uni who would come in the kitchen and dip a spoon in whatever was being cooked and put it back on for more, it wasnt cheeky as she was also going to have some of the food, but she often had a cold and I found myself put off eating it in the end. I never said anything because it was my DSIS housemate and I thought it didnt bother her, but she said later how it annoyed her too.

maddening · 13/01/2021 00:37

I imagine that the op. Finds it repulsive as if the lodger had more than one spoon then she will have put the spoon she just had in her mouth back into the pan of food.

The op is not suggesting food poisoning but worried that it was germs from the licked spoon being in her food.

BoomBoomsCousin · 13/01/2021 00:38

It's poor behaviour. If she did double dip it's a bit scummy. It seems unlikely double dipping would leave you with tummy ache, though, unless she's been complaining of some tummy ache inducing infection too. Especially unlikely if you reheated. So I wouldn't bother blaming her for that.

Regardless, she's obviously bugging you and life is too short to live with people who bug you. Get rid and find someone else.

Jenasaurus · 13/01/2021 00:38

On a funnier note, I made my DILs favourite dish, Lasagne and had her and my DS round for dinner, I gave everyone a normal sized portion as I am always accused of piling peoples plates too high, I asked if anyone wanted anymore, and my other DS discovered DIL in the kitchen with the dish in her hand spooning it in. I took it as a compliment and laughed about it.

SmidgenofaPigeon · 13/01/2021 00:39

Yeah, I’m sure that would give you a tummy ache 😂

NoSquirrels · 13/01/2021 00:39

I think "utterly repulsive" about sneaking a spoonful of food from a pan of leftovers is a bit of an overreaction, as is "invasive". She certainly didn't contaminate your leftovers so that you would have been affected digestively. (Unless she's a cat, for instance - but then she'd not have needed the spoon!)

If you feel this way about your lodger, you should probably not have her living with you, as I'm sure the stress is no good for either of you. I'd reconsider having a lodger at all, if I were you. I think you need to be a particular type of person to deal well with it.

Jenasaurus · 13/01/2021 00:40

I guess in COVID times no one should be double dipping

Leeds2 · 13/01/2021 00:43

I wouldn't like it either. Nor would I like her taking my tinned stuff unless he had asked first.

Stealhsquirrelnutkin · 13/01/2021 00:45

That's gross, I would be furious. Anyone who trusts that she took a clean spoon and dipped it into the pan once is very gullible. If she was hungry she probably put the spoon in her mouth, then back into the food several times.
I would warn her that any second offence would lead to her being given notice.
Some people are just disgusting. I had a visitor who dipped their finger into a jar of lemon curd "just to see what it tastes like". I was tempted to throw up into her handbag, just to see what it smelled like, but instead I handed her the jar and told her to take it with her and go.

PrankedByLife · 13/01/2021 00:48

I agree, it's dirty / unhygienic.

Did she at least take one mouthful with a clean spoon and then put the spoon in the sink?

I don't know what culture you are from but in Indian culture utensil swapping, crockery swapping is as good as someone spitting in your food.

Disrespectful.

The tramp should have at least asked you if she good have some - she's a thief.

Dogissue · 13/01/2021 00:49

YABU for the use of 'tummy ache' unless you're 5.

I wouldn't like the dipping a spoon in my food, but I'd just make sure I didn't leave it lying about in future.

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