Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To ask if Anxiety is an acceptable excuse for not wearing a mask?

827 replies

balihai550 · 12/01/2021 21:19

Just this...I had a mild panic attack in M&S today because for some reason masks make me feel closed in and like I can't breathe.

So I took it off and then had to explain to three people why I couldn't wear it. Anxiety in their view wasn't a good enough reason.

I often try to get online shops but atm all the ocado, Sainsbury's and Waitrose slots in my area are gone, so have to venture out.

Is not wearing a mask because of Anxiety and panic attacks unreasonable?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Meredithgrey1 · 12/01/2021 22:11

@Athinginitself I think you misread my comment. I already said upthread that legally the OP doesn’t have to wear one if it causes severe distress.

HelloThereMeHearties · 12/01/2021 22:11

@LemonPeonies

Nobody ever died of a panic attack though did they.
And you know this how?
OrangeSamphire · 12/01/2021 22:12

@ToadsThePeanutButterSnob Flowers sorry to hear that. My daughter was too. Her panic became psychosis. She attempted suicide three times. And she had months in hospital.

Shaniac · 12/01/2021 22:12

Nobody ever died of a panic attack though did they.

People have been hospitalised from them though.

UnrulyJulie · 12/01/2021 22:12

All the people saying that people who can’t wear masks should stay home - do you have the same view about children not being allowed in shops? They don’t have to wear masks either so equally could spread Covid - shouldn’t parents find childcare / online slots as well?

You know kids under age 11 are generally shorter than adults so unless you’re bending down to face level in front of them, the chances you breathing in a kids respiratory exhalations is minimal? Hmm.

mummymayhem18 · 12/01/2021 22:13

I understand what you're saying as I have found when I go out to the shops in my mask,it's normally for a prescriptions or something as I get my food delivered that I get very anxious wearing it,partly because I can't breathe through my nose so I have to have my mouth open and the feeling of the mask and the hot breath etc makes me get hot and I get palpitations and generally feel like I'm a bit out of breath. When I feel like that I just take a few slow deep breathes in and out to try and calm myself. I try to get done as quickly as possible and in and out if I can manage it. But I think everyone who ventures out to the shops or anywhere there will be other people indoors should wear a mask. If you aren't well enough to do that then you shouldn't be outside and risking it. I do have underlying health problems and would be at risk if I was to get Covid. It's all very well saying you are exempt but that would be no comfort to a person if they lost someone to COVID by catching it from a non mask wearer.
In regards to the food delivery slots although it's a pain staying up late but I know certainly with Asda and Tesco they would often be released at midnight. I did this during the first lockdown to make sure I got a slot. I have a delivery pass with Tesco so I have the next 3 or 4 weekly slots booked in advance.

WeAllHaveWings · 12/01/2021 22:13

Poor excuse. I struggle to wear a mask for long so I plan around it - book slots well in advance with whatever supermarket is available, if I have to go in I make a list and I am in and out as quickly as possible, avoid supermarket and use butcher or local shop instead. If you need a quick breather leave trolley for 1 min and go outside (if no queue to get back in), go at quiet times, find a quiet corner and take mask off for 2 secs for a breather, find a better mask (disposables are the worst), wear lighter clothing so not hot inside helps, stock up freezer/cupboards for between deliveries (I hate frozen bread but needs must), ask someone else to pick something up for you.

Lots of options before not wearing a mask.

Andrea87 · 12/01/2021 22:14

Have you considered doing a ‘click and collect’ - it’s a lot quicker , you don’t go into a shop and you’re not close to people - you might find it easier to cope with overall. Just a thought

Athinginitself · 12/01/2021 22:14

[quote Meredithgrey1]@Athinginitself I think you misread my comment. I already said upthread that legally the OP doesn’t have to wear one if it causes severe distress.[/quote]
Yeah i totally did. Apologies. Have reported my post x

Chimboo · 12/01/2021 22:14

I hate that this is what we have become.

My husband had a panic attack after a “funny turn” when we were out today (he is recovering from brain tumour removal surgery, waiting for a follow up MRI this week and was trying to do something “normal” to take his mind off the worrying wait and practice independence) when he suddenly lost his sight. This has never happened to him before. He always wears his mask (and don’t even start with the “he should be at home 24/7” because I don’t want to hear it. His mental health is bad enough as it is without being under total house arrest. And yes we have both already had Covid, we had it in March because he is an emergency service worker.) I was waiting outside - because we shouldn’t both be going inside even though that’s what I would have preferred - watching him in case anything happened. I ran in and removed his mask as it was making the claustrophobia and panic worse. I couldn’t give a damn whether people thought we were “spreading” anything because in that moment the mask was impacting HIS health more than it was protecting anyone else.

He had a hat on so no one would have seen the huge scar across his head. I’m sure we were being judged by some. Have some compassion and remember you have NO idea what other people are going through.

ToadsThePeanutButterSnob · 12/01/2021 22:14

[quote OrangeSamphire]@ToadsThePeanutButterSnob Flowers sorry to hear that. My daughter was too. Her panic became psychosis. She attempted suicide three times. And she had months in hospital.[/quote]
Sorry to hear about your daughter.

I have attempted suicide before and was hospitlised after and I don't want to go back there. That was the only thing that was making me push through.

Bollss · 12/01/2021 22:15

@UnrulyJulie

All the people saying that people who can’t wear masks should stay home - do you have the same view about children not being allowed in shops? They don’t have to wear masks either so equally could spread Covid - shouldn’t parents find childcare / online slots as well?

You know kids under age 11 are generally shorter than adults so unless you’re bending down to face level in front of them, the chances you breathing in a kids respiratory exhalations is minimal? Hmm.

Sorry what!! Do you actually believe that? Can it not travel vertically?
MrsMiaWallis · 12/01/2021 22:15

In Singapore it is mandatory for all people over 6 to wear a mask when they leave their homes. If you cannot tolerate a mask you must wear a face shield. They have done brilliantly containing covid. Maybe OP could wear a visor?

ToadsThePeanutButterSnob · 12/01/2021 22:15

I wear a mask on the rare occasion I go out before anyone starts.

Chimboo · 12/01/2021 22:16

@LagneyandCasey your post is lovely Flowers

beatingthefirstdaybacknerves · 12/01/2021 22:16

@Chimboo

I hate that this is what we have become.

My husband had a panic attack after a “funny turn” when we were out today (he is recovering from brain tumour removal surgery, waiting for a follow up MRI this week and was trying to do something “normal” to take his mind off the worrying wait and practice independence) when he suddenly lost his sight. This has never happened to him before. He always wears his mask (and don’t even start with the “he should be at home 24/7” because I don’t want to hear it. His mental health is bad enough as it is without being under total house arrest. And yes we have both already had Covid, we had it in March because he is an emergency service worker.) I was waiting outside - because we shouldn’t both be going inside even though that’s what I would have preferred - watching him in case anything happened. I ran in and removed his mask as it was making the claustrophobia and panic worse. I couldn’t give a damn whether people thought we were “spreading” anything because in that moment the mask was impacting HIS health more than it was protecting anyone else.

He had a hat on so no one would have seen the huge scar across his head. I’m sure we were being judged by some. Have some compassion and remember you have NO idea what other people are going through.

Flowers

In July my mum had a seizure in a well known clothes shop .

Instead of helping me whilst I dialled 999, the manager glared at me and said, is she done yet, can you tell them to get a move on?!

wanderings · 12/01/2021 22:17

Bingo.
Bingo.
Bingo.
Bingo.
Bingo.
Bingo.
The usual nasty replies. "Would you prefer a ventilator?" "Try wearing one in a covid ward." Mumsnet never disappoints.

CrochetOrBust · 12/01/2021 22:17

@UnrulyJulie

All the people saying that people who can’t wear masks should stay home - do you have the same view about children not being allowed in shops? They don’t have to wear masks either so equally could spread Covid - shouldn’t parents find childcare / online slots as well?

You know kids under age 11 are generally shorter than adults so unless you’re bending down to face level in front of them, the chances you breathing in a kids respiratory exhalations is minimal? Hmm.

Unless you’re bending down to get something from a shelf.

Or you’re in a wheelchair. Or the child’s in a trolley.

Or you’re like some of my friends’ children who are actually taller than me...

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 12/01/2021 22:17

Wow some of the comments. Mumsnet you're really out doing yourself with a lack of empathy
OP asked - clearly many disagree with her - maybe there's a "post here to attract nodding dog responses and lots of flowers" channel rather than AIBU?

Bananabuddy3 · 12/01/2021 22:18

Hi OP,

When I first put on my mask, I often struggle to get my breathing into a regular pattern (best way to explain it) it takes me a couple days of minutes to get it positioned well (to also avoid steaming up my glasses) and get the rhythm of my breathing back to normal. I’ve had a lot of practice - I have to get the bus to work so I’ve got used to them.

The first thing I would recommend to you, like others have said, is practice. But I will also add ordering a selection. Disposables, ones with filters, different fabrics and different amount of layers - you need to find ones that fit and work be at for you. I’ve got a couple with a film-like layer on the skin side and I struggle with them because the film sucks in when I breath and it gets hot and goes in my mouth. I have several fabric ones though that fit amazingly and allow me that bit of space in that the fabric isn’t against my mouth or blocking nostrils. You need to find ones right for you, size and comfort.

I second wearing one at home. Set the timer and start small. My friend was anxious and struggling at first and she started wearing hers outside. Wore it to walk around the block, and gradually increased walk length. She now where’s it to the shop on the basis that, if she can survive the walk, she can survive the shop.

Getting a delivery slot isn’t easy atm (least not where I am). Are you near the shops op? Can you manage / fit in frequent visit? By which I mean start small - go in there for your milk and bread - grab and come straight out - focusing will help with the anxiety and over time you’ll build up.

Masks will likely be here a long time (I’ve just ordered 4 more from Etsy) and I think it’s reasonable to have another go and seek help for your anxiety

TooManyDinosaurs1 · 12/01/2021 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

sibuttercup · 12/01/2021 22:19

This isn't a physical disability though.

Also, I said "people need to get a grip" not specifically OP.

I said OP needs to try to make the mask wearing work. If genuinely exhausted all avenues, then sure, don't wear a mask (but then should also try to do stuff online instead.)

covidaintacrime · 12/01/2021 22:19

I suck it up though and soldier on wearing it as I’m not self centred and understand that I’m wearing it to protect others. I don’t think anxiety is an excuse at all, if you can’t manage it you shouldn’t be going out. I’m fed up of people with their pathetic excuses for not wearing one to be honest.

Mental illness and disability are "pathetic"?

Wontbemadetofeelrubbish · 12/01/2021 22:20

NC for this.

I don't wear a mask, I was attacked a few years ago and their hand was put over my mouth, it sets off flashbacks and panic attacks. It's awful. No one has confronted me and I will not just 'stay home'. People who say that are prejudice walkers. I will do my shopping, distance myself and get on with it. People need to get over themselves, they don't have the rights to berate someone about something they know sod all about.

covidaintacrime · 12/01/2021 22:20

This isn't a physical disability though.

Is mental illness or psychological disability not valid to you?