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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To ask if Anxiety is an acceptable excuse for not wearing a mask?

827 replies

balihai550 · 12/01/2021 21:19

Just this...I had a mild panic attack in M&S today because for some reason masks make me feel closed in and like I can't breathe.

So I took it off and then had to explain to three people why I couldn't wear it. Anxiety in their view wasn't a good enough reason.

I often try to get online shops but atm all the ocado, Sainsbury's and Waitrose slots in my area are gone, so have to venture out.

Is not wearing a mask because of Anxiety and panic attacks unreasonable?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Coffeeandaride · 12/01/2021 22:20

I don’t think you can universally say anxiety.
I have anxiety and wear them all day. If anything they seem to slow down my breathing and this helps my heart not racing.

I agree with pp that this is an airbourne virus at its height. Would want you (whenever possible) to avoid going unmasked into spaces with other people, seems unfair not to take this little imperfect measure.

beatingthefirstdaybacknerves · 12/01/2021 22:21

@covidaintacrime

I suck it up though and soldier on wearing it as I’m not self centred and understand that I’m wearing it to protect others. I don’t think anxiety is an excuse at all, if you can’t manage it you shouldn’t be going out. I’m fed up of people with their pathetic excuses for not wearing one to be honest.

Mental illness and disability are "pathetic"?

And apparently also idiotic, selfish, self centred, lazy and better off hidden behind closed doors ...
pricklymole · 12/01/2021 22:21

@LemonPeonies

Nobody ever died of a panic attack though did they.
Maybe not but it certainly can feel like you are dying which is terrifying when you are alone in the middle of the night.
Wontbemadetofeelrubbish · 12/01/2021 22:21

@TooManyDinosaurs1 hope you don't pass on your horrid attitude to your child.

AldiAisleofCrap · 12/01/2021 22:21

No you still need to wear a mask, you know logically that you can breath . A panic attack is not comparable to someone becoming severely ill or worse.

MrsMiaWallis · 12/01/2021 22:22

These are the most comfortable masks I have worn
neqi mask

If it helps anyone

MintyMabel · 12/01/2021 22:22

Next time you feel anxious in a mask, leave the shop and come in again once you've calmed down. Don't risk somebody's life.

If you are a doctor you will be familiar with the herd concept.

If 95 people out of 100 wear a mask, the OP not wearing one because it causes her problems isn’t going to be a problem. That’s the concept and the reason exemptions are allowed. The majority doing their best to protect the minority is the whole point of what we are trying to do.

Why does your anxiety trump mine?
Why would yours trump the OP’s? It isn’t a game of trumps, it is about working together to reach a goal.

OP, I echo what others say. Try desensitising at home. Build up to being able to wear it for longer periods. When you start to feel anxious when out, either step outside, or to one side, away from everyone, take the mask down, breathe deeply, calm it down and carry on. Then put it back on and carry one.

I struggled with masks for a long period, so tended to avoid going anywhere I needed to do that. When things opened up and numbers were low, I went for a massage as my shoulders were wrecked. I had to wear a mask and was really worried, but found there was no problem at all wearing it for an hour in that setting because I was so relaxed. That made me realise I had some control over it and that has really helped. I still don’t go anywhere near a supermarket unless absolutely vital (if I couldn’t get a slot - which doesn’t happen often now)

If you are worried about the reaction of others, Instead of just going maskless and saying that’s that, see what you are able to tolerate and restrict your time in the store to that. Make a plan of where you are going to go and focus on it rather than the mask. I find that wearing lipsyl helps too.

Gingaaarghpussy · 12/01/2021 22:22

When you do not need to wear a face covering
In settings where face coverings are required in England there are some circumstances where people may not be able to wear a face covering.

Please be mindful and respectful of such circumstances. Some people are less able to wear face coverings, and the reasons for this may not be visible to others.

This includes (but is not limited to):

children under the age of 11 (Public Health England does not recommend face coverings for children under the age of 3 for health and safety reasons)
people who cannot put on, wear or remove a face covering because of a physical or mental illness or impairment, or disability
where putting on, wearing or removing a face covering will cause you severe distress
if you are speaking to or providing assistance to someone who relies on lip reading, clear sound or facial expressions to communicate
to avoid harm or injury, or the risk of harm or injury, to yourself or others ‒ including if it would negatively impact on your ability to exercise or participate in a strenuous activity
police officers and other emergency workers, given that this may interfere with their ability to serve the public
There are also scenarios when you are permitted to remove a face covering:

if asked to do so in a bank, building society, or post office for identification
if asked to do so by shop staff or relevant employees for identification, for assessing health recommendations (for example by a pharmacist) or for age identification purposes, including when buying age restricted products such as alcohol
if required in order to receive treatment or services, for example when getting a facial
in order to take medication
if you are delivering a sermon or prayer in a place of worship
if you are the persons getting married in a relevant place
if you are aged 11 to 18 attending a faith school and having lessons in a place of worship as part of your core curriculum
if you are undertaking exercise or an activity and it would negatively impact your ability to do so
if you are an elite sports person, professional dancer or referee acting in the course of your employment
when seated to eat or drink in a hospitality premise such as a pub, bar, restaurant or cafe. You must put a face covering back on once you finish eating or drinking
The government’s guidance for keeping workers and customers safe during COVID-19 in restaurants, pubs, bars and takeaway services clearly advises that designated indoor seating areas for customers to eat or drink should at this time only be open for table service, where possible, alongside additional infection control measures.
This is what the government says.
I have found cloth masks make my anxiety worse, so have been using a sunflower lanyard given to me by a local shop, that also has their name on.
On the back of other threads where people have been judgemental about those of us who have panic attacks at the drop of a hat, I had a wander round amazon and there are plastic masks, when I get mine, I will also be seeing if I can ours cloth mask over the top because I can't see how plastic will stop any lurgy.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 12/01/2021 22:23

@UnrulyJulie

All the people saying that people who can’t wear masks should stay home - do you have the same view about children not being allowed in shops? They don’t have to wear masks either so equally could spread Covid - shouldn’t parents find childcare / online slots as well?

You know kids under age 11 are generally shorter than adults so unless you’re bending down to face level in front of them, the chances you breathing in a kids respiratory exhalations is minimal? Hmm.

The exemption for children was when children were thought not to pass on the virus; with the new strains, recognition that children are often asymptomatic carriers has arisen since the original guidance. Probably why they opened schools last term thinking that it would not increase spread of the virus, but have now closed them again Hmm
Chimboo · 12/01/2021 22:23

@beatingthefirstdaybacknerves I’m so sorry 😞 I hope your mum is okay. How anyone can look at someone in distress and not want to help is beyond me, and I wish I could say I was surprised, but I’m
not. The only health condition that seems to matter these days is Covid and it’s made me realise how many people are lacking an ounce of compassion.

Bollss · 12/01/2021 22:23

@sibuttercup

This isn't a physical disability though.

Also, I said "people need to get a grip" not specifically OP.

I said OP needs to try to make the mask wearing work. If genuinely exhausted all avenues, then sure, don't wear a mask (but then should also try to do stuff online instead.)

Ah right so you don't think mental health issues count then? I see.
covidaintacrime · 12/01/2021 22:23

No you still need to wear a mask, you know logically that you can breath . A panic attack is not comparable to someone becoming severely ill or worse

I am actually so envious of individuals who have so little lived experience that they can dismiss mental health issues as something you can defeat by "knowing logically". What does that even mean?

Corcory · 12/01/2021 22:24

Get a visor thingy instead.

sibuttercup · 12/01/2021 22:25

@covidaintacrime this was in reply to @TrustTheGeneGenie

Yes it is valid. But in the OP's case, at least from what they wrote it isn't clear they have tried that hard to get themselves to be able to wear a mask.

Wontbemadetofeelrubbish · 12/01/2021 22:25

@UnrulyJulie plenty of 9/10 year olds are taller than me.

Viviennemary · 12/01/2021 22:25

Most people have anxiety about the number of people not wearing masks.

LouMumsnet · 12/01/2021 22:25

Evening everyone.

We just wanted to bob on here and let you know that we've received a few reports about this thread suggesting that the tone isn't particularly sympathetic to the OP. Having read the full discussion, we're inclined to agree.

The thread may be in AIBU but that doesn't meant that we'll allow disablist posts to stand - and we've deleted some of these. We've also deleted some troll hunting.

Can we ask that folk stick to our Talk Guidelines when posting please and bear in mind that real people are on the receiving end of your comments - and to word your posts accordingly?

Mumsnet is here to make parents' lives easier after all - and one thing we could certainly all do with right now is some compassion and understanding.

Peace and love to all in these difficult times. Flowers

Bollss · 12/01/2021 22:26

[quote sibuttercup]**@covidaintacrime* this was in reply to @TrustTheGeneGenie*

Yes it is valid. But in the OP's case, at least from what they wrote it isn't clear they have tried that hard to get themselves to be able to wear a mask.[/quote]
Ah okay so would you ask someone with a physical disability to "keep trying" to do something they couldn't do, potentially causing themselves harm, before you deemed it okay for them to be exempt?

covidaintacrime · 12/01/2021 22:26

Yes it is valid. But in the OP's case, at least from what they wrote it isn't clear they have tried that hard to get themselves to be able to wear a mask.

What, to you, would constitute "trying that hard"?

sibuttercup · 12/01/2021 22:27

@trustthegenegenie hold up, where did I say I don't think it counts. I responded to you asking about physical disabilities counting. And now you're twisting that answer? Hmm

ToadsThePeanutButterSnob · 12/01/2021 22:27

@Viviennemary

Most people have anxiety about the number of people not wearing masks.
I hear this being said a lot but I very rarely see anyone not wearing a mask.
Chimboo · 12/01/2021 22:29

@Wontbemadetofeelrubbish I’m so sorry. You should not have to choose between reliving trauma and locking yourself away for months and months on end. Hang in there ❤️

ChristmasinJune · 12/01/2021 22:29

At school I wear a little plastic face shield with a visor on top, would that work for you? It feels less constricted and is easier to breathe in.
Have a look around, there's lots of different things around now so maybe there's something that you can tolerate?

To ask if Anxiety is an acceptable excuse for not wearing a mask?
AdultHumanFemale · 12/01/2021 22:29

I'm really surprised at responses on this thread. Anxiety can be debilitating and I absolutely get how someone might feel like they absolutely can't wear a mask because of it. I do not suffer with anxiety myself, but have friends and family members who do, and I have every sympathy.
But I would suggest that if you feel unable to wear a mask, you try to avoid going places where mask-wearing is expected, and investigate alternative ways of accessing the goods or services on offer in those settings. If for no other reason than that so many mask-wearers become similarly anxious in the presence of non-wearers.

diamondsr4u · 12/01/2021 22:31

Sorry I don't think anxiety is a good enough reason when we have a deadly virus going around. You need to do online shopping if you suffer anxiety