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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if Anxiety is an acceptable excuse for not wearing a mask?

827 replies

balihai550 · 12/01/2021 21:19

Just this...I had a mild panic attack in M&S today because for some reason masks make me feel closed in and like I can't breathe.

So I took it off and then had to explain to three people why I couldn't wear it. Anxiety in their view wasn't a good enough reason.

I often try to get online shops but atm all the ocado, Sainsbury's and Waitrose slots in my area are gone, so have to venture out.

Is not wearing a mask because of Anxiety and panic attacks unreasonable?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
ivfbeenbusy · 12/01/2021 22:04

Is this self diagnosed anxiety like a lot of people seem to be afflicted with these days?

We are ALL ANXIOUS.....anxious about catching the bloody virus. None of us enjoy wearing masks but we understand the reasons why they are needed

Sorry but if you can't wear one for the 10 mins needed to nip round the supermarket you should arrange for home deliveries

Literallynoidea · 12/01/2021 22:05

YABU

Notabs · 12/01/2021 22:05

It is hard but please try keep it on. I can’t breathe out of my nose at all, so a mask covering my mouth does make me anxious but I have no doubt you can manage it if you put your mind to it 🙏 Try to dress in lighter clothes so you don’t get too warm and flustered. You’ll be fine x

Bollss · 12/01/2021 22:06

@ivfbeenbusy

Is this self diagnosed anxiety like a lot of people seem to be afflicted with these days?

We are ALL ANXIOUS.....anxious about catching the bloody virus. None of us enjoy wearing masks but we understand the reasons why they are needed

Sorry but if you can't wear one for the 10 mins needed to nip round the supermarket you should arrange for home deliveries

Would you ask that about a physical health condition?

Surprised you're not asking op if it's all in her head. You may as well have done.

covidaintacrime · 12/01/2021 22:06

*Is this self diagnosed anxiety like a lot of people seem to be afflicted with these days?

We are ALL ANXIOUS.....anxious about catching the bloody virus. None of us enjoy wearing masks but we understand the reasons why they are needed*

"Aww you're on the spectrum? We're all a little autistic!"
That's what you sound like. What an odd presumption to make about someone, diagnosed anxiety is different to experiencing a state of being anxious. OP has not said she has self-diagnosed.

CrochetOrBust · 12/01/2021 22:06

All the people saying that people who can’t wear masks should stay home - do you have the same view about children not being allowed in shops? They don’t have to wear masks either so equally could spread Covid - shouldn’t parents find childcare / online slots as well?

OrangeSamphire · 12/01/2021 22:07

It really depends on how it affects you OP.

I find masks make me feel anxious, short of breath and claustrophobic but I can manage it for about an hour, so I do.

My daughter cannot. When she puts a mask on, she hyperventilates and then collapses. Repeatedly. She wants to wear one and has tried so hard, but can’t. But part of her therapy / recovery is to make sure she gets out of the house and also I can’t leave her home alone ever so she comes shopping with me. She wears a lanyard, sanitises, distances from others and is as safe and respectful of the rules as she can be.

It would do her no good to stay at home the entire time. Doing normal things like grocery shopping is just about keeping her on an even keel. I can’t risk her becoming suicidal again. So going out without a mask is what she has to do.

Chloemol · 12/01/2021 22:07

I get that some people get anxious, but i bet if your life depended on wearing a mask you would do it

Try wearing a mask at home for a couple of minutes building up time wearing it

It’s been proved that wearing the blue paper masks you get the same amount of oxygen as not wearing one

The point is you are protecting others from you, you maybe a symptomatic and be passing the virus round. You need to wear a maskb

LemonPeonies · 12/01/2021 22:07

Nobody ever died of a panic attack though did they.

beatingthefirstdaybacknerves · 12/01/2021 22:07

@Notnt

I won't use it as an excuse personally. I have (diagnosed) severe GAD, panic disorder (that unfortunately don't respond to medication) and autism and have coped with a mask. I don't particularly like it and did take a little time to get used to it but it became easier over time. I suppose it depends on the person. I do need other exemptions (someone with me at hospital is one, although visitors/accompanying adults are currently not allowed in most situations), as I literally won't cope otherwise, as has happened before, so I can't judge anyone else.
Hospitals tend to be very good with this Flowers, I had a couple of horrendous appointments mid summer and wasn’t allowed an escort at all but was given a nurse escort instead .

Dentist OTOH no problem at all with escorts, DM was allowed to sit with me and come to any future appointments . Maxes a huge difference - the difference between sitting there and running away !

Athinginitself · 12/01/2021 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsMiaWallis · 12/01/2021 22:08

@TheNewSchmoo

I can't quite put my finger on why I feel an air of goadiness.

Perhaps see if Asda, Tesco or Morris ons have a delivery slot.

Me too. Maybe get a friend to shop for you for a bit?
covidaintacrime · 12/01/2021 22:08

Nobody ever died of a panic attack though did they.

Is death really the criteria we are basing empathy on?

sibuttercup · 12/01/2021 22:08

YABU
Practice wearing the mask at home. Get help for your anxiety. If you struggle when out, leave the shop. Ground yourself and go back in. With the mask ON.

People really need to get a grip or this is going to go on for much much longer

drumst1ck · 12/01/2021 22:08

Lots of good advice already for you OP on starting to train yourself at home and slowly build up to wearing one if you can manage it.

I used to get panic attacks whenever I did exercise as the increase in heart rate and breathing mimicked what happened during them and set me off. Over time, with practice and short sessions I gradually got better. It's very tough though!

There's a lot of very harsh comments on here but at the moment, people are scared, dying and angry so if you can try to train your anxiety slowly I think that would be a good thing. If not, look into other options such as online shopping or a friend/neighbor who might be able to pick things up for you.

Good luck!

Giraffey1 · 12/01/2021 22:08

I understand it might be tricky. But we have had nine months of mask wearing - how is it you have only just discovered it makes you ‘anxious’?

Bollss · 12/01/2021 22:08

@LemonPeonies

Nobody ever died of a panic attack though did they.
Oh that's okay then.
LAgeDeRaisin · 12/01/2021 22:09

@ToadsThePeanutButterSnob no, so please don't make that horrible accusation.

It's not about having no sympathy, it's about us being in the worst pandemic in modern history and it being an awful choice between wearing a mask/online shopping if you can't, and hundreds and thousands of grieving families losing a loved one. It's avout a balance of what's more awful.

Anxiety is crippling, but it can't trump somebody's right to life. Especially when we are so close to the vaccine being rolled out. There is an end in sight.

Don't you have sympathy for the anxiety the grieving families experience? Please don't accuse me of not caring.

My whole life is about caring for people. Looking after people. Making people feel better. Going the extra mile. Staying after my shift ends to hold people's hands while they die because they are dying with nobody there and their families can't visit and the next shift doctors and nurses are too busy firefighting the shitshow of the rest of the ward to have time.

How dare you.

ToadsThePeanutButterSnob · 12/01/2021 22:09

@LemonPeonies

Nobody ever died of a panic attack though did they.
They might if they are left untreated and it results in suicide.

I was suicidal in the run up to Christmas because I kept having panic attacks and no matter what I did they wouldn't bloody stop.

Athinginitself · 12/01/2021 22:09

Have just reported my own post as posted in error due to lack of reading skill!

Bollss · 12/01/2021 22:09

@sibuttercup

YABU Practice wearing the mask at home. Get help for your anxiety. If you struggle when out, leave the shop. Ground yourself and go back in. With the mask ON.

People really need to get a grip or this is going to go on for much much longer

Do you tell people with physical illness to get a grip when they can't do something, too?
Weirdfan · 12/01/2021 22:10

I struggled with exactly the same thing to begin with OP and I've stayed home as much as possible throughout as a result. Circumstances have changed for me though and I'm having to go shopping now where DH did it before (no chance of a delivery slot round here since first lockdown) and it's getting better. I went today and realised afterwards I hadn't actually noticed I was wearing it, in fact I'd walked halfway home before I remembered to take it off. I have PTSD from an attack during which my attackers hand was over my mouth so it hasn't been easy to come to terms with masks but I think I'm getting there, I hope you can too Flowers

ToadsThePeanutButterSnob · 12/01/2021 22:10

[quote LAgeDeRaisin]@ToadsThePeanutButterSnob no, so please don't make that horrible accusation.

It's not about having no sympathy, it's about us being in the worst pandemic in modern history and it being an awful choice between wearing a mask/online shopping if you can't, and hundreds and thousands of grieving families losing a loved one. It's avout a balance of what's more awful.

Anxiety is crippling, but it can't trump somebody's right to life. Especially when we are so close to the vaccine being rolled out. There is an end in sight.

Don't you have sympathy for the anxiety the grieving families experience? Please don't accuse me of not caring.

My whole life is about caring for people. Looking after people. Making people feel better. Going the extra mile. Staying after my shift ends to hold people's hands while they die because they are dying with nobody there and their families can't visit and the next shift doctors and nurses are too busy firefighting the shitshow of the rest of the ward to have time.

How dare you.[/quote]
Apogies. Your posting style seemed very similar that's all.

What's your advice to suicidal people who aren't been taken seriously?

HelloThereMeHearties · 12/01/2021 22:10

How about wrapping a scarf around your face instead of a mask.

LagneyandCasey · 12/01/2021 22:11

There are some really nasty responses on this thread. OP isn't a covid denying mask refuser, he or she is finding it difficult to wear one. This is a shitty situation for all - a tiny bit of kindness and understanding wouldn't hurt.

OP, do you have time to shop little and often? If you've a small shop nearby that you know well you could make a list taking the quickest route around the shop. Most shops are fairly quiet on weekdays. If you feel overwhelmed you could leave your basket and pop outside for a minute or two to get fresh air.

I agree with wearing your mask at home to get used to it as well.