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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask if Anxiety is an acceptable excuse for not wearing a mask?

827 replies

balihai550 · 12/01/2021 21:19

Just this...I had a mild panic attack in M&S today because for some reason masks make me feel closed in and like I can't breathe.

So I took it off and then had to explain to three people why I couldn't wear it. Anxiety in their view wasn't a good enough reason.

I often try to get online shops but atm all the ocado, Sainsbury's and Waitrose slots in my area are gone, so have to venture out.

Is not wearing a mask because of Anxiety and panic attacks unreasonable?

OP posts:
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5
TornadoOfSouls · 12/01/2021 21:57

Try to get used to the mask by wearing it at home when you are relaxed. You will find that actually you can breathe normally and once you are used to the feeling you notice it less and less.
I have just had a funny thought - I remember when I first started wearing a bra it was horribly uncomfortable and I was conscious of it all the time. But of course that wore off and I got used to it! There’s nothing wrong with not wearing a bra of course but most women learn to wear them. If you tend to be anxious no doubt you are very conscious of the mask - the best way to overcome that is to get used to it.
Panic attacks and anxiety can be overcome. It would be beneficial to you and to others if you wore a mask and it could be a step towards recovering from anxiety for you. I think actually learning to wear a mask could be less stressful than feeling others are judging you for not wearing one - and rightly or wrongly, they will be.
Good luck.

Meredithgrey1 · 12/01/2021 21:58

Why should your anxiety about masks override my anxiety about another mass of the population dying? People who otherwise might be leading happy lives for many more years?

Why does your anxiety trump mine?

Because that’s the law. Take it up with your MP.

ToadsThePeanutButterSnob · 12/01/2021 21:58

@LAgeDeRaisin

Hi OP, I'm a doctor on a covid ward.

I get anxious wearing a mask and full PPE at work because lots of my patients are dying of covid. I get stressed because the visors steam up and make it hard to see to cannulate/do other procedures. My anxiety is made worse because all of these things can slow down how fast I can treat patients, how quickly I can move from one patient to another. The time lag to attending an emergency.

This whole bloody pandemic is awful for everyone. We've all got to do things we really don't find comfortable. People are dying, and it's people like me that have to (over and over and OVER AND OVER and over again) call hysterical families to tell them their brother, son, sister, daughter, mother, friend, whoever is dead. Dead forever. Dead when they might not be dead if everyone wore a mask, at all times, when out of their own homes.

Why should your anxiety about masks override my anxiety about another mass of the population dying? People who otherwise might be leading happy lives for many more years?

Why does your anxiety trump mine?

Just because you can't see the outcome of your actions, doesn't mean I dont.

Next time you feel anxious in a mask, leave the shop and come in again once you've calmed down. Don't risk somebody's life.

Are you the same HCP who mocked and was very aggressive towards a suicidal poster?
LooneyLovefood · 12/01/2021 21:58

I suffer terribly with anxiety and crippling panic attacks. If something interferes with my breathing (even if it's just in my head!) such as a scarf too tight around my neck, getting out of breath while running, there being cigarette smoke in the air etc my brain miscommunicates it as something threatening and I have a panic attack. Masks also have this effect on me. However, I'm able to see the bigger picture and the importance of mask wearing for myself and anyone around me. So if I really need to go shopping I put my mask on at the last possible moment, run into the shop, grab what I need and I'm out with my mask off as soon as I can. There have been two occasions when I've had to leave the shop to settle my breathing and once when I had to rip the mask of my face and calm myself down in the middle of the aisle. What I said to myself from day one of this was that I would always put the mask on and wear it for as long as I possibly could and for the vast majority of times I've been fine wearing it - it's all a mental game.

I would suggest trying out a few different types and seeing what suits you - I didn't like the blue surgical ones but I quite like the fabric ones as they seem lighter. Keep trying and you'll do better than you think you can.

Also, I try to avoid going anywhere indoors as much as I possibly can which also really helps!

WorraLiberty · 12/01/2021 21:58

How about a visor?

At least if you coughed or sneezed it might contain some of the spray?

UnrulyJulie · 12/01/2021 21:58

There were at least 12 people in my big Tesco today with no masks on. I lost count after that. I was only in there for 30 minutes.

One walking around talking very loudly and shouting across the aisle to her mate.

It’s a bloody disgraceAngry.

FFSAllTheGoodOnesArereadyTaken · 12/01/2021 21:58

For me it depends. Feeling uncomfortable and panicky - suck it up and wear a mask. Having a full blown panic attack to the point of collapse- of course dont wear a mask. Both cases - try and get online delivery or a friend or volunteer to shop for you if you genuinely think you cant wear a mask

Meredithgrey1 · 12/01/2021 21:59

if my DC with autism, anxiety and sensory issues can wear one, so can you.

What a short sighted attitude. Is there nothing your DC can’t do that others with the same conditions can? Not everyone is the same.

PearlescentIridescent · 12/01/2021 21:59

There are some fucking aresholes on this thread completely diminishing how debilitating anxiety can be.

OP you should not have posted this and certainly not in AIBU.

I have anxiety and I wear masks everywhere because it's not triggering to me. Doesn't give me the right to take the piss out of the OP for feeling otherwise.

LAgeDeRaisin · 12/01/2021 22:00

I think anxiety can be a really crippling thing, but it's completely absurb to imply that mask wearing would cause death in the anxious.

I've seen lots of people have panic attacks. I have never in my whole career seen somebody die from a panic attack. They get patched up, maybe some beta blockers by the GP or in A&E, and turfed out.

Another 4 months of online deliveries until we get the vaccine rolled out, from your second or 3rd choice of supermarket also wont induce death.

What we DO know is that lots of people are dying of covid. We also know that not wearing a mask causes covid to spread.

I have suggested that if the OP feels overwhelmingly anxious, she leave the shop.

It's a shit deal for the OP being so overwhelmingly anxious, but does that trump so many grieving families? I just dont think it does.

Porcupineintherough · 12/01/2021 22:00

@covidaintacrime the OP has literally posted in AIBU asking for people's opinions. You dont have to agree with people but it's a bit unreasonable to get arsey at people for giving them.

joystir59 · 12/01/2021 22:00

Try working in a mask for 12 hours on a covid ward. Just wear a mask in the shops!

Shaniac · 12/01/2021 22:00

It’s a shitty excuse.

Lol sorry other peoples mental health conditions inconvenience you.

HibernatingTill2030 · 12/01/2021 22:00

I think people are being a bit harsh. If a mask gives you a panic attack, it gives you a panic attack. That said, do I think you should be able to shop without one? No. Step outside the shops and remove your mask if you really have to.

In your situation I would try click and collect so you could be in and out quickly.

I found it intolerable to wear a mask at first. Build up slowly wearing it for longer periods. I find the surgical ones easier to breathe in than the cloth ones. (although I do worry about the waste I am creating)

covidaintacrime · 12/01/2021 22:01

I think anxiety can be a really crippling thing, but it's completely absurb to imply that mask wearing would cause death in the anxious.

I've seen lots of people have panic attacks. I have never in my whole career seen somebody die from a panic attack. They get patched up, maybe some beta blockers by the GP or in A&E, and turfed out.

It's almost like anxiety can be a debilitating condition, and when combined with depression (which it VERY commonly is) can lead to suicidal tendencies, especially with multiple traumatic incidents like panic attacks. Gee whiz.

joystir59 · 12/01/2021 22:01

I have almost paralysing anxiety every waking moment since losing my DW 6 months ago.

Meredithgrey1 · 12/01/2021 22:01

I think anxiety can be a really crippling thing, but it's completely absurb to imply that mask wearing would cause death in the anxious.

No one has said that. The law on mask wearing isn’t that you have to wear one unless doing so would kill you.

5zeds · 12/01/2021 22:01

The reasonable response is to address the anxiety. Ds struggled at first, (he has fairly severe SN). We practiced till he could manage. Every day for weeks. Could you try that?

Bollss · 12/01/2021 22:01

@joystir59

Try working in a mask for 12 hours on a covid ward. Just wear a mask in the shops!
Try working on a mental health unit and experience what untreated mental health issues look like.
covidaintacrime · 12/01/2021 22:02

the OP has literally posted in AIBU asking for people's opinions. You dont have to agree with people but it's a bit unreasonable to get arsey at people for giving them.

Opinions = absolutely fantastic, I love hearing multiple points of view.
Ableism= not a chance, sorry not standing for it.

And there have been many ableist posts on here.

Sway19 · 12/01/2021 22:03

Do you think you’ll feel less anxious when you’re wearing an oxygen mask?

NRE20 · 12/01/2021 22:03

I can imagine it’s really uncomfortable and scary when you have an anxiety attack whilst wearing the mask. You can get face shields. Why not look into getting one of those? They sell them for less than £10 on Amazon. The problem is that people are increasingly catching this virus and more and more people are dying from it, so for your own safety and those you love, I would try to find a way to cope with the mask, find an alternative such as a shield, or avoid going out and ask someone else to get your essentials, until it’s safe to be out without face protection.

BaggoMcoys · 12/01/2021 22:04

I've had the feelings of a panic attack coming on with mine, but I just lift it away from my face briefly for air, go outside if possible and remove it, and try to limit my time spent in places where I have to wear a mask.

I think it's reasonable for those with a specific related issue - e.g. victims of traumatic abuse who had their nose/mouth covered as part of the abuse and suffer for PTSD.

For the kind of anxiety I feel with a mask on, which sounds similar to yours, I don't think it's reasonable to not wear a mask. I think it's up to us to make reasonable adjustments such as stepping outside when possible. It's not really nice for anyone at the moment and we should all be doing our bit imo.

Notnt · 12/01/2021 22:04

I won't use it as an excuse personally. I have (diagnosed) severe GAD, panic disorder (that unfortunately don't respond to medication) and autism and have coped with a mask. I don't particularly like it and did take a little time to get used to it but it became easier over time. I suppose it depends on the person. I do need other exemptions (someone with me at hospital is one, although visitors/accompanying adults are currently not allowed in most situations), as I literally won't cope otherwise, as has happened before, so I can't judge anyone else.

Bollss · 12/01/2021 22:04

@Sway19

Do you think you’ll feel less anxious when you’re wearing an oxygen mask?
Can I ask why you think she will be? I notice you say "when" as of not wearing a mask means you absolutely will be admitted to hospital with covid.