Chance of a lifetime or?

[chunkfunk]

Dh is in the forces and has been given the chance of a posting in either Canada or Cyprus (house is included and would be payed extra whilst over there)
Our children are currently 9/7/4
It's once in a lifetime opportunity but on the other hand I worry about the kids education. DH thinks we should go for it whilst the children are still primary age. Of course it's a decision only myself an my DH can make but just wondering what other people's views are?

@Steppemum I grew up as a third culture kid and moved regularly. I think those experiences and exposure to other cultures and ways of living have been a huge asset to me and I wouldn’t change a thing.

The people you regularly meet are unfortunate but not typical of me or my friends who had similar experiences. Whilst we may prefer some places to others, I don’t think we would skip any of the postings or placements. I feel incredibly fortunate to have had my eyes opened to the world at an early age. Most TCKs do.

@chunkfunk yes we've haven't needed to move since our eldest was reception either so I relate! Have you spoken to your DS about moving? My DS would be very reluctant to move but if I told him about the Cyprus lifestyle he would do it in a second.

A wonderful opportunity. My parents took my brother snd i then 9 and 7 to live in spain in the 80s. Best move ever. Such a greet opportunity to grow up abroad and learn other languages and cultures.

Go for it - home school / online school or enroll locally. The advantages of travel are far higher than the disruption

Would say a big yes to Canada. It's been harder in the past to be able to meet criteria to be able to work and live there (no idea what effect covid and Brexit might have) so having some help with that possibility would mean a lot. Vancouver is one of the best places I have ever seen.

Vancouver is one of the best places I have ever seen.

Vancouver is one of the best places in the world for sure, but Medicine Hat and Ralston are light years away in every sense. I'm always fascinated by the Canada love in the UK. It is an amazing country, but don't think you'll be skiing and sea kayaking, hiking and mountain climbing on a day to day basis, if ever, if you're not on holiday or don't live in one of the beauty spots.

Fair enough - I did realise quite how big a place it was when travelling there eventually, and didn't take in Medicine Hat while on those travels.

Not sure I would move to that neck of the woods in Canada. I think Cyprus would win in that instance, as you could easily travel around Europe, home to see family etc.

Do you have parents etc?

Another one who would do the posting to Canada in a heartbeat.

We visited some friends who had moved over there a few years ago and they absolutely love it, as did we when we visited. A few surprising things they found in terms of somewhat old fashioned infrastructure (ie when moving there and getting established, opening bank accounts, getting registered for things, setting up utilities etc etc things we we take for granted as being able to do online there just wasn't the set up for) but still overall brilliant, loving it. And the people genuinely are so friendly and lovely!

[quote DifficultBloodyWoman]@Steppemum I grew up as a third culture kid and moved regularly. I think those experiences and exposure to other cultures and ways of living have been a huge asset to me and I wouldn’t change a thing.

The people you regularly meet are unfortunate but not typical of me or my friends who had similar experiences. Whilst we may prefer some places to others, I don’t think we would skip any of the postings or placements. I feel incredibly fortunate to have had my eyes opened to the world at an early age. Most TCKs do.[/quote]
Sorry DifficultBloodyWoman, I have given you the wrong impression.

Upthread I very clearly said to the OP - go for it, as I think it is a wonderful thing to do.
Giving kids an opportunity to experience another culture and place is a great advantage, particularly in the modern world of globalisation.

My comments were a reaction to the poster who said - kids will be fine, go for it.

While I think being a TCK is amazing (I am one, and so are my 3 kids) it is not something you should do without thought, and no, kids are not always fine. There are ways of doing it well, and ways of doing it badly, and you should take time to think it through

I work with families on their way overseas and on their way back. My goal is to eductae them about TCKs, and help them prepare kids to move, and help them adjust when they come back. It doesn't usually take much to make a difference. I am always very clear that it is on balance a positive experience, and I have rarely met a TCK who regretted it.

BUT there are a lot of people who moved many times with no support and are very troubled by their upbringing. The US Forces in particular are very bad at pulling kids out of school mid semester and giving no support and training to the family.
I have met so many trailing spouses who were not even given the most basic information and support about the culture they were moving into, like the wife who was upset at the attention she received when at the car dealership in the vest top and short skirt in a muslim country.

I find that a lot of people say - the kids will be fine. They'll learn the language, no problem, it will be easy to make new friends etc.
In reality, they will need more support than that, and there are times when it is a bad idea to move, and when the kids will need a lot more help and support, eg moving a 15 year old from and all American International school to a UK comprehenive into the middle of year 10.
They will crash land. A bit of support and forethought could help them not to crash land.

Cant you put the kids into boarding school?
You could enjoy his placement as well then get 5he kids flown over for the holiday.

Win win

Reading this thread, I've changed my mind. Definitely go, but to Cyprus not Canada!

My Canadian relatives are all completely batshit so I’d pick Cyprus - esp.having lived there and enjoyed it.

Miles better weather than Canada, too. Though I suppose it’s all right if you don’t mind 9 months of winter - that is unless you’re in BC.

Thanks for explaining @Steppemum. Support (and attitude) does make a huge difference.

Interesting that you should cite US to UK Comprehensive as a tough move - that was also my most difficult transition. It was dreadful school although I did make one lifelong friend there.

@Funkypickle - that's interesting your comment about primary schools. My DD's state school has a proper library, swimming pool, computer room. Not a science lab, though. That's pretty standard round here. The more I read on here though - schools in the UK seem to vary so much!

Canada, omg, yes, no thought required.

@DifficultBloodyWoman

Thanks for explaining *@Steppemum*. Support (and attitude) does make a huge difference.

Interesting that you should cite US to UK Comprehensive as a tough move - that was also my most difficult transition. It was dreadful school although I did make one lifelong friend there.

I think it is difficult as the two schooling systems are so different, but because both are in English parents often don't realise that difference.

I think also many International schools have the ethos/style of small private schools, and then to land in a huge Comprehensive in the middle of a large city is a massive culture shock.

We're in Canada and love it. Miles away from Alberta, over on the east coast.

I lived in BC and can say it's spectacular.

Wr to education, DS is only 7 but so far we're happy with his schooling.

The general quality of life over here is better than the UK.

If I were your kids I would definitely thank you in the long run for the move to Canada (saw one person comment that they wouldn't uproot their DC- ridiculous!) Go for it!

@LilMidge01 I was the ridiculous poster who wouldn’t. I’d go permanently without a doubt, just not for 2 years with a DC who would then go straight into high school. But then around me there are very good oversubscribed high schools or for late applicants an extremely poor high school which I would rather move altogether than them go to.

Do it.

@LilMidge01 - I was also a ridiculous poster who wouldn't uproot my kids. I think it's more ridiculous that posters are suggesting there should be no thought involved. Of course there should be! Everyone proclaiming how great Canada is because they went on holiday there once. As has been discussed the place OP will be going to is in the middle of nowhere and nowhere near the nice places.

And no mention of family in the UK?

@UndertheCedartree of course there's thought involved. The OP has also been reasonably clear in her initial post I think that she is going to fully think this through with her husband (not make her decision based on MN! She's not an idiot) but is looking for initial reactions (hence posting in AIBU section). I never said anything about holidays. I objectively think Canada is a better country to live in than the UK. And yes, I still think you're being ridiculous to worry about 'uprooting' kids of that age to give them an experience of a lifetime rather than a few additional years in the UK at their age.

@Indecisive12 well we have to agree to disagree. I still think its ridiculous to not consider the opportunity based on a year or two of high school. Kids change schools in Year 9 and they're not damaged.

Canada definitely, perhaps not Cyprus.