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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Chance of a lifetime or?

127 replies

chunkfunk · 12/01/2021 20:34

Dh is in the forces and has been given the chance of a posting in either Canada or Cyprus (house is included and would be payed extra whilst over there)
Our children are currently 9/7/4
It's once in a lifetime opportunity but on the other hand I worry about the kids education. DH thinks we should go for it whilst the children are still primary age. Of course it's a decision only myself an my DH can make but just wondering what other people's views are?

OP posts:
DuzzyFuck · 12/01/2021 21:54

I'd already be packing my bags OP! How exciting. Echoing others, Canada if you have the choice!

believeinblue · 12/01/2021 22:00

@thegcatsmother that must have been hugely frustrating, my husband is in Cyprus atm and has mentioned things are expensive. We'd probably be fine as I can work from home so we'd be dual income in MQs (assuming we could rent out our house) but Cyprus just doesn't appeal much. I've got friends who love it and it looks beautiful, but there's only so much sun, sea and sand I could take before I'd get bored I think. Would love to go Canada though! I have a couple friends in the army who've been based there and I seethed with jealousy at their photos! I'd make sacrifices for that opportunity.

Funkypickle · 12/01/2021 22:01

Another Canadian here. Nearly fled the UK with my family back in March when Justin Trudeau called all Canadians abroad to return home.

The education system is fantastic, real libraries (not book corners) in primary school, swimming pools, proper science and technology labs and computer sciences. If I want the same level of education here we have to go private.

The seasons, all four of them. Each and every season something to do or explore. The wilderness and cities all amazing.

Also, as pp mentioned lots of vacation opportunities. The States, the Caribbean and Mexico all very affordable.

Seriously debating a move back to Canada.

1FootInTheRave · 12/01/2021 22:04

I'd be gone in a shot.

Probably to Canada.

Bagamoyo1 · 12/01/2021 22:05

I wouldn’t go. I couldn’t do it to my Mum.

chubbycheeks26 · 12/01/2021 22:05

My parents were in the forces and if they'd told us we were moving over to either of those I'd have the biggest grin on my face ever.

Now - I'd also be at the airport like byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Inthemuckheap · 12/01/2021 22:10

Having being brought up in quite a few countries, go for it! It's only 2 years and your kids are the perfect age. No brainer.

Thehop · 12/01/2021 22:12

OMG can I message you please @chunkfunk

Treemama · 12/01/2021 22:20

That sounds amazing! I would go to Canada. If you guys don't take the offer where can we sign? Grin

Justcallmecaptainobvious · 12/01/2021 22:21

I moved country at ages 5, 7 and 11, different educational systems. Wouldn’t have changed it for the world - I think your kids are great ages for it.

momager1 · 12/01/2021 22:24

I moved from belfast to canada.. I hated it at first.. THEN i went home to live again as i REALLY hated Canada... (think it was the wrong age for me to move as i was only 17 and missed my friends) I moved back to belfast for several years when i turned 18 and my parents were NOT happy..but i lived with my auntie and uncle and contributed to the household finances as i got a full time job. One year later I was back in canada to see my parents and really REALLY realized how lucky i was to have the chance to live in canada. I did move home to belfast in my 30s for a short while...but honestly, Canada is an amazing place and if i looked back now...YES take canada

tellthem · 12/01/2021 22:24

depends where in Canada, it has its shit holes too

SynchroSwimmer · 12/01/2021 22:25

Grab it with both hands, opportunity of a lifetime, you will all look back in later years and be so glad. It’s life enhancing in so many ways.
(I did 2 tours, our replacements after 3 years didn’t want to leave uk, but they wouldn’t let me extend)

Ltdannygreen · 12/01/2021 22:30

If I got offered Canada I’d be packing before they finished asking..

SunsetSenora · 12/01/2021 22:50

Do it - they are not old enough that it will seriously disrupt them and they will get so much from the experience.

Almostslimjim · 12/01/2021 22:53

I'd be packing my bags! Definitely go whilst you can.

Labobo · 12/01/2021 22:55

Definitely Canada. I would go there, definitely.

pricklymole · 12/01/2021 23:00

I'd go to Canada but not Cyprus

threeitchyfeet · 12/01/2021 23:19

Definitely go for Canada (personally I'd try to do both countries for two years each, clue in the username), but check out the location (and driving distances, airports, flight costs to the UK and to where you might want to visit, etc) before you agree if you're planning to do a lot of travel or have people visit you.

I've been in Ontario for over a decade and these wonderful reports of the education system are unrecognisable to me. We've had many incredible teachers but my DS9 and DS12 can barely write (as in form letters that don't look like they've been written by a 4yo). All my DC are amazingly self-aware about their emotions, but academically are way behind their younger English cousins. Tall poppy syndrome is very real, and in my area you are absolutely NEVER EVER ALLOWED to do any work above grade level if even identified as gifted. SEN provision is drastically underfunded (and I have heard all the horror stories about UK parents having to fight tooth and nail for SEN provision--but at least there's some to fight for!). No schools in my area have pools or nice tech/science facilities (except the private one), but they do have decent playgrounds, and there don't seem to be rough/undesirable schools in the same way (lack of yob culture definitely helps with that, I think). Some or all of this will probably vary school board to school board, and certainly province to province, so it's probably worth your while to join some fb groups for the places you might live.

But you're not doing it for the education, you're doing it for the life experience, the travel, the exposure to different customs, the adventure. If the schools where you end up are like the ones near me, you can teach them things like times tables and handwriting yourself. So I would go for it without hesitation!

Charliecatpaws · 12/01/2021 23:29

Go for it and live the experience, your children will have memories that will last their lifetime, they will thank you when they are older. I love Cyprus for a holiday but Canada would be my choice

BTV2000 · 12/01/2021 23:41

100% check where in Canada you’re likely to end up. My DH is in the forces and has been stationed in Canada and there was the opportunity for us to go at one point. Unfortunately where he used to have to go was out in the arse end of nowhere with the towns about 1-3 hrs away depending on which direction you drive!

thegcatsmother · 12/01/2021 23:50

believe I only moved to Brussels, as after 2 years there, dh was offered a further appointment at the EUMS, which meant another 4 years, and that wasn't tenable for six weeking. As I wanted to keep my marriage, I resigned, let the house, moved ds from school, and off we went. I thought I'd be there for 4 years, and ended up doing 7 when dh was still serving.

He had to retire the day before he was 54 (RN Cdr), and we came home prior to that, only for him to get a post retirement job in much the same arena, but as a civvy, in Brussels, so back out for another 6 years, but no MQs etc.

Home for good now, and glad of it; I didn't want to stay abroad any longer.

feelingfree17 · 12/01/2021 23:53

Canada in a heartbeat. Don’t worry about your children. As long as you are a strong family unit they will be fine. A move like this could only broaden their horizons and enrich their education.
Start packing and enjoy! Two years will fly by.

chunkfunk · 13/01/2021 08:41

@BTV2000

100% check where in Canada you’re likely to end up. My DH is in the forces and has been stationed in Canada and there was the opportunity for us to go at one point. Unfortunately where he used to have to go was out in the arse end of nowhere with the towns about 1-3 hrs away depending on which direction you drive!
Can I ask where your DH was based please? We would be in either med hat or ralston I think If we opt for Canada. Have joined fb groups but waiting to be accepted if anyone here has any info that would be lovely ☺️
OP posts:
chunkfunk · 13/01/2021 08:47

@threeitchyfeet

Definitely go for Canada (personally I'd try to do both countries for two years each, clue in the username), but check out the location (and driving distances, airports, flight costs to the UK and to where you might want to visit, etc) before you agree if you're planning to do a lot of travel or have people visit you.

I've been in Ontario for over a decade and these wonderful reports of the education system are unrecognisable to me. We've had many incredible teachers but my DS9 and DS12 can barely write (as in form letters that don't look like they've been written by a 4yo). All my DC are amazingly self-aware about their emotions, but academically are way behind their younger English cousins. Tall poppy syndrome is very real, and in my area you are absolutely NEVER EVER ALLOWED to do any work above grade level if even identified as gifted. SEN provision is drastically underfunded (and I have heard all the horror stories about UK parents having to fight tooth and nail for SEN provision--but at least there's some to fight for!). No schools in my area have pools or nice tech/science facilities (except the private one), but they do have decent playgrounds, and there don't seem to be rough/undesirable schools in the same way (lack of yob culture definitely helps with that, I think). Some or all of this will probably vary school board to school board, and certainly province to province, so it's probably worth your while to join some fb groups for the places you might live.

But you're not doing it for the education, you're doing it for the life experience, the travel, the exposure to different customs, the adventure. If the schools where you end up are like the ones near me, you can teach them things like times tables and handwriting yourself. So I would go for it without hesitation!

Ah see this does worry me! Ds 1 (9) is already quite behind so him falling further behind would be the last thing we want as his return to the uk would be when he is starting secondary school! Such a hard decision this opportunity is unlikely to come up again on one hand but the other hand it's my sons life and am I willingly by making things harder for him academically x
OP posts:
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