My son is 2. I had a shortish relationship with his dad which failed as he had a lot of psychological/mental health issues, I tried to help but he refused to help himself and there was only so much I could do. He now lives abroad with a friend and has done for over a year, hasn't seen DS since he left but I get generous maintenance payments. He's settled there with a job and I'm pretty certain he isn't coming back any time soon. I'm okay with the setup as he was not in a position to be a stable father. He was raised in a very intense Christian sect (won't say which one, but their beliefs are very bizarre and they have a reputation for being very invasive in trying to get people to join) and that was the source of his issues.
Our whole relationship was strongly against the religion's rules, so he kept it separate from the rest of his life (all his social life was through the religion, and his family). However after I fell pregnant he had to confess and was promptly kicked out of the religion for premarital sex. They have a hard shunning policy, everybody cut him off, including his own mother and brother. He was living with his mother at the time and she kicked him out, so he moved in with me. She did come round not long after DS was born to see him (this isn't technically 'allowed' due to the shunning), ex was glad to see her taking an interest but after that she started begging him to come back and try and get reinstated to the religion. So he essentially told her where to go.
For the past 6 months, she has not left me alone. She is desperate to get me and DS into the religion. I have had to block her on Facebook and messenger due to her constantly asking to take DS to meeting/service after Covid is over or telling me to read this new article on the religion's website. I keep her number unblocked in case there is ever an emergency or something but I am getting absolutely sick of it all. The other day I got a paragraph of drivel about how me and my son will die soon unless I take up the religion. Other times it's just begging to see him and take him out etc. It's awful as I know she loves her grandson and thinks she is doing right by him but I will not have this shit in his life, especially after seeing what it did to my ex. Ex has mentally checked out of the situation, he can't talk to his mum about it anyway because she isn't allowed to have any contact with him due to the shunning policy. If she is found out to have had 'unessential' contact with him she could also be kicked out of the religion. Yes she came round after DS was born but that was clearly to see how likely it was that he'd come back. I actually think she may have him blocked everywhere now. I've also recently had her sister contacting me on her behalf telling me how much it would mean to her if I let her see DS. She is grinding me down and making me feel bad but surely I'm not in the wrong for not wanting him brainwashed? The religion takes over the entire live's of its members, so it's not a realistic prospect to allow contact on the condition that she keeps the religion separate, she would always feel like she was doing him a disservice by not 'saving' him.