Am I unreasonable?

[ennaycul]

I have just realised that I have a slow puncture on my car tyre. I asked hubby to have a look at it. He confirmed it was a slow puncture and pumped it up for me using a foot pump. So I asked him what the best solution is to get this sorted, as I have to travel to work tomorrow using my car. He told me my options were to try to get it fixed somewhere today (was not really keen on that, as I'm super busy today working from home) or to drive to work with the dodgy tire tomorrow. I'm totally miffed, since he has a perfectly good car that he will not be using since working from home but has not offered for me to use it! Why would he send me to work driving a car that is not road worthy rather than offer to drive his? I am fully insured on his car and he is aware of that! If it was the other way round, I would have offered mine straight away! Feeling rather upset!!!

I just don't want to have to ask him for his car!
That's just ridiculous

In our house we have 3 cars and 3 drivers, each is our own car, purchased and insured by us and only DH can drive all of them.

If I had a slow puncture I would have to fix it or pump it up to go to work (or pay for day insurance on one of the other cars). What would happen in reality is I would ask DH to drop me at work, but it is only a 15 min drive and he would be wfh. I wouldn't expect or wait for him to offer.

However actually it is me who can wfh without going to the office and it is DH who as a key worker leaves the house. He is rotating the cars to give them a run, but he would never take mine without first checking with me that it is OK. The only time he ever does this is if one of the DC need picking up late at night and I'm in bed ad my car is the easiest to get to.

Sorry this is bonkers. If you're married but can't ask to use his car there's issues there. Equally mad that he wouldn't offer his car.

Of course,you ask, you don't tell someone that you're borrowing their belongings!

Having said that of course they should say "yep, here's the keys" - but regardless of this, asking is just politeness.

I don't think I've seen a thread where literally not one person agrees with the OP. Sucks to be them.

If you don't want to ask him directly, ask him why didn't he offer his car. My DH very protective of his precious car, but he gives it when there's a problem with mine.

Have you asked him yet?

You could try the old sales trick, saying a question as a statement.

"Right, the garage is fully booked today so can I use your car tomorrow as I really don't want to drive on a dodgy tyre and risk further damage."

The full stop rather than question mark at the end (so bring your tone down or flat rather that up at the end) implies it's the obvious and most reasonable solution. The question itself is in the middle so subconciously doesn't imply a yes/no choice. Polite, but matter of fact (rather than, 'Can I please use your car?').

Sneaky, but as far as he's concerned you asked how you were going to sort your car so you could take it to work tomorrow. He's taken it literally, so be literal back.

Absolutely ridiculous thread

If you've got a relationship where you refer to him as "hubby" then surely you can ask to take the other car

And I can't believe you asked him for a solution. If you're big enough to drive then you're big enough to manage your car

"My car has a slow puncture and I don't feel safe driving it tomorrow, can I borrow yours since you're home and don't need it"

• "sure love / no because..."

How fucking easy was that??

I just don't want to have to ask him for his car!

You're being really passive aggressive. If you want to use his car, just bloody ask him. And there are lots of garages that will sell you/fit a tyre today. Stop being so pathetic.

Just bloody ask him for the car!!

My dh can be a bit dopey and the obvious solution could completely pass him by.

If I said “well...could I take your car” you would literally see his eyes go “fuck...why didn’t I think of that?!”

OP as others have said, just ask.

I wouldn't think of offering my car if someone was specifically asking me about what options they had regarding THEIR car. Just say, I can't get it fixed today and I don't really want to drive it whilst it's like that. Could I take yours or could you give me a lift in? It really is that simple.