Am I unreasonable?

[ennaycul]

I have just realised that I have a slow puncture on my car tyre. I asked hubby to have a look at it. He confirmed it was a slow puncture and pumped it up for me using a foot pump. So I asked him what the best solution is to get this sorted, as I have to travel to work tomorrow using my car. He told me my options were to try to get it fixed somewhere today (was not really keen on that, as I'm super busy today working from home) or to drive to work with the dodgy tire tomorrow. I'm totally miffed, since he has a perfectly good car that he will not be using since working from home but has not offered for me to use it! Why would he send me to work driving a car that is not road worthy rather than offer to drive his? I am fully insured on his car and he is aware of that! If it was the other way round, I would have offered mine straight away! Feeling rather upset!!!

Firstly YOU need to get YOUR car sorted. We all do it. It's not the man's problem to sort your tyre. Welcome to adult life.

It should have gone without saying that you would use his car till you can find a moment to sort the tyre, but yes he should have suggested it and YABU not to say it to him when he didn't.

What's with all the passive aggressive games?

YABU

Why wouldn’t you just ask if you can use his car tomorrow? You’re creating problems where there aren’t any!

MN is amazing. These little windows into other people's marriages.

Why was the conversation not just "I'm really busy today so can't go get my tyre fixed, are you ok if I just take your car tomorrow. I'll be able to get mine fixed on X day when I have less to do".

How do people get through life with this level of communication and unspoken resentment?

Why would you passively aggressively ask him what he thinks you should do rather than just outright asking to borrow his car?

If you’re going to play mind games expect him to not have a clue what you’re referring to.

Yeah my husband would of said the same. He is very literal. Just ask him!

I wouldn’t wait for husband to offer, id just ask him if I could take his car.

There's absolutely no way on God's green earth that I would have someone tell me that they are using my car because they can't be bothered to get theirs fixed. If they ask then yes, I will likely let them take it, but there isn't a single person that I would allow to simply tell me and not give me a choice.

Ask to borrow his car then.

To add insult to injury, I just tried to get the tire fixed at the garage where I bought the tires from less than two month ago and they are fully booked today. I just don't want to have to ask him for his car!

So I asked him what the best solution is to get this sorted, as I have to travel to work tomorrow using my car

So you said you needed to travel to work using your car. So maybe he thought you needed to use your car?

Maybe talk to him?

This is just game playing in my book. You have a problem, you know how to solve it but want to test your DH to see if he gives you the 'correct' answer on his own? Quit the games and just ask to borrow his car. Women like you give us a bad name and why men 'can never trust what a woman says because she'll mean something different'. Jeez. Rant over.

OP you’re being ridiculous. You’ve still not explained why you don’t want to ask him to let you use his car!

“DH I will be taking the Audi/Toyota/Skoda etc to work tomorrow “
Problem solved

'DH, am I OK to use your car tomorrow? The garage is fully booked today so can't get mine sorted'

I just don't want to have to ask him for his car!

Why??

Surely the conversation should just go ‘my car has a puncture can I take yours tomorrow’.

Arrange for a mobile repair person to come out or phone other garages.

Why the drama?

Why?

Go to another tyre place ? if none available , just ask him ?? How bizarre.

If the puncture really is slow, and you're not going a long way you can probably get away with using your car for a day or two, especially if you have a mobile compressor (either come with cars that don't have spares or fairly cheap to buy, and very useful).

But I don't understand why you can't take his car, he doesn't need it. You're a partnership aren't you? Surely couples just share cars according to need?

DP used my car for a few days while his was having major repairs in the garage and I was WFH and I use his car when I need to take passengers or anything big as my car is a little 3 door that doesn't carry much and (in normal times) DM can't get in the back and she likes to sit back there with the dog if we go to the beach or something.

I would never have to ask my husband to use his car if he wasn't using it. Well I would, but would laugh in his face if he said no.

He's your husband.
Just say I'm taking the other car.
You're married. It's your car as well?
He might be on Dadsnet now sniggering about the wifey can't even sort a tyre out and wondering how long before she asks for my car....

I just don't want to have to ask him for his car

There's either a huge back story here or some sort of silly bet going on where you lose if you have to use his car for some reason.

Ask him to use his car.
If there is some kind of problem with that then book a taxi.
Get on with your day now !

Stop being a pathetic woman and ask him.

JFC are you for real? Just ask (actually 'tell') him that you need his car for today, then sort out somewhere else you can get your own car fixed. There are plenty of tyre centres around so I'm sure you'll be able to get it done somewhere.

This is so weird. You don't ASK for his car. You say 'I'll use your car tomorrow since you're working from home'.