DH and I are both 33 and if we got pregnant tomorrow we’d be 34 when our first child was born. We’ve both agreed we want kids, probably two, but don’t actually want to get pregnant right now. However we are aware we’re not getting any younger and are wondering whether we should move our plans forward? We are financially stable and should be able to afford it.
On the plus side for moving things forward - we don’t know how long it will take us to get pregnant so it could be a couple of years away anyway; we’ve heard it gets harder to conceive as you get older (although anecdotally we know a number of older parents and it’s younger couples we know who are struggling); we’re worried about our own parents being old and not being able to enjoy the grandkids properly; and COVID is scuppering all of our other plans so we might as well take what control we can! Also, most of our friends are having kids at the moment so it would put us on the same level as them (we’ve felt “behind” for a couple of years as everyone got married around the time we met).
On the side for waiting longer: we met later than we would have liked so have only had 3 years together and one of those has essentially been in lockdown! We want to have a wedding - we got married last year but only with parents and siblings present due to covid and no proper reception. We’re both very sociable people with large friendship groups we would love to celebrate with! Of course we could throw a party after we’ve had a baby but it seems a bit random to do it so long after the wedding and maybe our priorities will change after a child and we won’t want to spend the money? But I think I’d always feel sad to have missed out on that. Same with a honeymoon - we’d love to go on a big holiday together pre-children but due to covid won’t be able to go until later this year. We’re also not living where we want to when we have kids. Our aim is to move this year but it might take time and we don’t want to be still stuck here when the baby arrives. Finally, we haven’t got as far in our careers as we would have liked to when having kids. This means less money and less power/freedom at work to set our own hours etc. We would rather have another couple of years of seniority under the belt. Plus, we just don’t fancy having them yet!
So...given our position and age - WWBU to wait another 18 months to TTC? So we can have our wedding, honeymoon, move house and get further in our careers? Or is that too risky, especially with COVID making weddings and travel difficult anyway!