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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to wish Ds teacher would give me more details re home learning?

72 replies

Specksofwhiteallaround · 11/01/2021 11:46

In case it’s relevant my son is 6 and has ASD so attends a special school. His teacher is doing all his teaching via Microsoft Teams and I’m struggling already as I’m finding it hard to use and his teacher has never used it before either. I had to email for clarification on almost everything she set last week and after seeing this weeks tasks it’s the same all over again. I feel like I’m constantly harassing her and most of the time I’m not even getting a reply which reinforces the feeling I’m being really annoying.

It’s things like the links she posts don’t work or she mentions a worksheet but it isn’t included in the file and no info on where to get hold of it. She also has mentioned different phases of work but I’ve no idea what phase ds is at or where I would have learned this as it wasn’t brought up at the last parent teacher call I had with her. He doesn’t get homework and what he’s doing each term and day is only briefly mentioned in the daily email so I can’t really hazard a guess.

She’s doing twice daily video calls (and wanted to include three more a day linking up with the children who are in school) but these had such a horrible effect on my son that we’ve since opted out of them. So now we’re obviously missing out on a lot of additional details regarding the home learning and the opportunity to ask for help and she isn’t replying to messages during the day which is frustrating. I get that it’s easier for her to do everything via video calls but it’s just not worth the negative effects on ds and to be honest it was a bit of a waste a time as the other kids are very excited and very loud so we didn’t even hear any of what she was saying, the app also didn’t pick up our microphone so ds couldn’t even join in.

Today’s work just says to complete speed sounds with children on sounds they already know (use chart to help) but I don’t know what the sounds are and there’s no indication of what the chart is or where to get it. Definitely feeling like the world’s worst parent for not knowing exactly where he’s up to but at the same time I sort of assumed if I needed to know they’d tell me as we obviously discuss his EHCP goals etc every term. I’ve tried searching online as I know what phonics they’re using but there’s different phases and stages mentioned so I’m no clearer.

I just wish she would assume most parents won’t know off the bat what chart or worksheet she’s referring to and include a pdf or a link or something that identifies she actually wants me to be doing with him. On the other hand I do understand she’s under a lot of pressure and the circumstances aren’t ideal for all of us so I’m not sure how unreasonable Im being in my expectations so looking for a bit of perspective.

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 11/01/2021 12:16

Ask for a phonecall and have a chat.

Specksofwhiteallaround · 11/01/2021 12:24

@Hankunamatata I already have, twice last week and again today but received no answer. I thought it would be an easier way to explain the situation with the video calls being disruptive etc but I can only assume she’s too busy.

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 11/01/2021 12:25

Can you ring the school? Is there anyone there?

Hankunamatata · 11/01/2021 12:27

support.microsoft.com/en-us/office/microsoft-teams-video-training-4f108e54-240b-4351-8084-b1089f0d21d7

We were giving to this at work for leanting to use teams. Might help if your not familiar 🤷‍♀️

SavoyCabbage · 11/01/2021 12:31

Speed sounds are 'Read Write inc'. She might just think you already know that from a previous time or she's mentioning it during the calls you aren't having.

Remember it's not even a full week since the announcement and it's been a difficult time for everyone.

Can you not do the calls with her without your son?

HugeAckmansWife · 11/01/2021 12:36

Try looking in the Files section of each of his Teams.. She may have put things there, or try Assignments. Teams is actually really good when both the teacher and the learner have had some training / experience but it's potentially v confusing if that hasn't happened.

ChristmasinJune · 11/01/2021 12:36

Is it read, write inc speed sounds?
Have posted the charts here if that's any help.

AIBU to wish Ds teacher would give me more details re home learning?
AIBU to wish Ds teacher would give me more details re home learning?
TheUndoingProject · 11/01/2021 12:41

I appreciate the impact they were having on your son, but I think you need to accept that you’re missing a lot by not participating and it’s a huge burden to expect the teacher to duplicate twice daily calls just for you. Can you listen on headphones without your son?

Becles · 11/01/2021 12:47

Links not working aside, what struck me was 2 bits in your post

She’s doing twice daily video calls (and wanted to include three more a day linking up with the children who are in school) for children in a special school and you're complaining that she's not responding to your queries during the day?

Seriously? A week into the government shambles the teacher is trying to keep up educational requirements and importantly prioritising the social needs of kids at home. But she isn't responding to you on demand while (in your own words) actively engaging with children with special needs.

Let me know the school I'd love to send her a bottle of wine, her brain must be fried at the end of the day when she still responds to you. Biscuit

Specksofwhiteallaround · 11/01/2021 13:02

@Becles No... my problem is she hasn’t replied to any of my emails at anytime during the week. If her brain is so fried that she can’t respond with one email a week then yes there’s obviously a serious problem, not sure exactly what I can do to help with that? Does that mean I shouldn’t approach her for help at all and accept she can only be available to the students who are allowed to attend school?

OP posts:
ScrapThatThen · 11/01/2021 13:06

Can you do the video calls on your own? Accept that you and she are both under a lot of pressure and it won't be perfect.

Specksofwhiteallaround · 11/01/2021 13:06

@TheUndoingProject absolutely not expecting her to duplicate multiple video calls but would definitely make it easier if she included a couple of links or pdfs when she posts the file containing the work. There are only 8 students in his class and so far only 3 households have been doing the audio calls for various reasons so probably not just me who’s missing out on the information either.

OP posts:
Specksofwhiteallaround · 11/01/2021 13:19

Have no problem doing a video call between just me and her in theory and have mentioned that in the email but there’s an issue with my microphone so she won’t actually be able to hear anything from our side which is a pain. I also can’t see how she’d find the time for that.

It is read write inc, so I know generally what he’s doing and we do have the letters at home but finding it really hard to find which resource we’re meant to be using for each activity.
@ChristmasinJune thank you that’s so helpful.

@HugeAckmansWife she’s posting the home learning in the files in teams so we can access that no trouble, it’s the open ended instructions that are tripping me up.

We have to document him doing the work with photos and post them daily to prove he’s doing the work so I’m really conscious of doing it correctly but I’m also really aware of bothering her. One of the tasks last week was to watch then discuss a YouTube link but the link was to a video that had been taken down, I went with my inclination which was to watch something similar and do the work she’d set but my Dh's opinion was that I should probably have checked if that was ok so kinda doubting myself too now.

OP posts:
Specksofwhiteallaround · 11/01/2021 13:23

If nothing else this week has really brought home to me how much I struggle with open ended instructions. It’s taking me right back to being at school myself and agonising over if I’m doing something right or have misunderstood somehow Blush

OP posts:
24HoursInPoliceCustody · 11/01/2021 13:24

Your son should be at school, I would enquire about this.

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 11/01/2021 13:26

Did you say most of the time you havnt got a reply or any time? And how many emails have you sent in total?

GreyPebbledash · 11/01/2021 13:26

It sounds like she could be expecting a high background knowledge of education which is not realistic to expect from parents. An alternative is that there is a technical IT problem.

I would be emailing that as a general concern, and saying that there are too many references to worksheets or charts that are not linked. If she is putting them in as links they are not showing up on your system. I would also include some general phrase about how you hope to hear from her soon, by the end of - what, Wednesday or at least the end of the week - about this issue as it is preventing your child from accessing the education. If you really don't get any joy you'll need to go over her head and find a next contact, a deputy head or someone - not quite sure in a special school.

Specksofwhiteallaround · 11/01/2021 13:55

@24HoursInPoliceCustody He’s been diagnosed with focal epilepsy so they can’t allow him in school. It’s sad as he’s only ever had two seizures when he was first diagnosed almost three years ago and is now being weaned off his meds on advice of his consultant but it’s obviously too much of a risk.
He’s badly missing school which is one reason the video calls went so badly, he was getting upset over why the other children are in school but not him and was spending hours crying and getting very agitated over the whole thing.

@Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov I’ve emailed her back in reply to her emails regarding the video calls three times and once asking if it might be possible to speak to her over the phone (she did say at beginning of the term she’d available via phone or email.) but she’s not answered any of those messages. I emailed once to ask which worksheet she meant which she didn’t answer, and I messaged her again on teams about the worksheet and she did send the me the pdf but no other communication. I asked generally on teams how to upload files to the folder she specified and another parent answered that which was helpful.

The whole class has been added to a group on teams and she did say she hoped we could all use this to keep in contact, answer questions etc but only one other parent is uploading the work in the way his teacher has asked and I’ve not seen anyone else online so not quite working out as planned.

OP posts:
Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 11/01/2021 14:12

I'd give her one more week and then send an email asking for a call, outlining the issues with your son being on the call and asking for a plan for going forward and give her a few days to reply before going over her head.
It could be that she's struggling with getting started and settled so give her a bit more time for the benefit of doubt. Or she could be rubbish. Either way if you give her a bit more time I think you're being infinitely reasonable to go above her head.
My old boss used to say would you be embarrassed/ashamed telling your mother, a judge or seeing it in the papers, and that's how you tell if you're being reasonable. I think your tik tok assignment passes that test. At the end of the day you're doing your best and sure that's all you can do.

drspouse · 11/01/2021 14:22

My DS has epilepsy and hasn't had a seizure for a year, so v similar. He's in school (except right now when he's self isolating). Why do they think the epilepsy is a risk?

Wheresmykimchi · 11/01/2021 14:28

[quote Specksofwhiteallaround]@Becles No... my problem is she hasn’t replied to any of my emails at anytime during the week. If her brain is so fried that she can’t respond with one email a week then yes there’s obviously a serious problem, not sure exactly what I can do to help with that? Does that mean I shouldn’t approach her for help at all and accept she can only be available to the students who are allowed to attend school?[/quote]
But it won't be one email a day she gets. Your child is not the only child.

drspouse · 11/01/2021 14:37

With 8 in a class, and the OP asking that she respond to one email per week, I think she's not being U at all.

Specksofwhiteallaround · 11/01/2021 14:37

@drspouse They sent home an email to all parents listing the clinical conditions which put them at a higher risk of complications should they should catch covid, said these children should remain at home as long as we are in lockdown. They’ve instructed parents that they will contact us when and if they’re is a place for our children so no room for discussion.

OP posts:
TheLuckiest · 11/01/2021 14:40

When you do eventually get in contact with her, let her know that she can record Teams meetings / video calls and they upload automatically at the end of the meeting. This means you can watch them at a time that suits you so you know what to do.

We've been doing that every time we meet with our classes in case there is anyone who can't log on at the meeting time.

Hope that helps!! Thanks

drspouse · 11/01/2021 14:40

They are not medics though - ask your DS' consultant.

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