AIBU to wish Ds teacher would give me more details re home learning?

[Specksofwhiteallaround]

In case it’s relevant my son is 6 and has ASD so attends a special school. His teacher is doing all his teaching via Microsoft Teams and I’m struggling already as I’m finding it hard to use and his teacher has never used it before either. I had to email for clarification on almost everything she set last week and after seeing this weeks tasks it’s the same all over again. I feel like I’m constantly harassing her and most of the time I’m not even getting a reply which reinforces the feeling I’m being really annoying.

It’s things like the links she posts don’t work or she mentions a worksheet but it isn’t included in the file and no info on where to get hold of it. She also has mentioned different phases of work but I’ve no idea what phase ds is at or where I would have learned this as it wasn’t brought up at the last parent teacher call I had with her. He doesn’t get homework and what he’s doing each term and day is only briefly mentioned in the daily email so I can’t really hazard a guess.

She’s doing twice daily video calls (and wanted to include three more a day linking up with the children who are in school) but these had such a horrible effect on my son that we’ve since opted out of them. So now we’re obviously missing out on a lot of additional details regarding the home learning and the opportunity to ask for help and she isn’t replying to messages during the day which is frustrating. I get that it’s easier for her to do everything via video calls but it’s just not worth the negative effects on ds and to be honest it was a bit of a waste a time as the other kids are very excited and very loud so we didn’t even hear any of what she was saying, the app also didn’t pick up our microphone so ds couldn’t even join in.

Today’s work just says to complete speed sounds with children on sounds they already know (use chart to help) but I don’t know what the sounds are and there’s no indication of what the chart is or where to get it. Definitely feeling like the world’s worst parent for not knowing exactly where he’s up to but at the same time I sort of assumed if I needed to know they’d tell me as we obviously discuss his EHCP goals etc every term. I’ve tried searching online as I know what phonics they’re using but there’s different phases and stages mentioned so I’m no clearer.

I just wish she would assume most parents won’t know off the bat what chart or worksheet she’s referring to and include a pdf or a link or something that identifies she actually wants me to be doing with him. On the other hand I do understand she’s under a lot of pressure and the circumstances aren’t ideal for all of us so I’m not sure how unreasonable Im being in my expectations so looking for a bit of perspective.

@Wheresmykimchi I’m obviously aware my child isn’t the only child, not entirely sure why the fact that other parents may or may not be emailing her means I should accept no contact for mine...?
I’ve said I don’t expect an instant reply but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect to have at least one conversation with her? She’s had the time to make several comments on the uploaded videos one of the other children on teams, if she’s so inundated with emails that she doesn’t have time to talk to me surely she could spare a few seconds to let me know so I can lower my expectations a bit.

@TheLuckiest that would be perfect so maybe I should mention that. Ds was kicking off so much on the last one that I missed a huge chunk of what she was saying about resources she’s supposedly posting home and I don’t want to pester her so haven’t bothered to ask if that’s still happening or not

@TheLuckiest

When you do eventually get in contact with her, let her know that she can record Teams meetings / video calls and they upload automatically at the end of the meeting. This means you can watch them at a time that suits you so you know what to do.

We've been doing that every time we meet with our classes in case there is anyone who can't log on at the meeting time.

Hope that helps!!

The safeguarding advice on this varies hugely between schools- some have been explicitly told not to do this.

I agree it would be good for parents, but many schools won't allow it.

@drspouse

My DS has epilepsy and hasn't had a seizure for a year, so v similar. He's in school (except right now when he's self isolating). Why do they think the epilepsy is a risk?

My ds was sent home in March due to 'suspected epilepsy'. His NHS assessment was delayed due to C-19 overload on NHS. He returned to School 4 weeks before the end of term. He doesnt have Epilepsy. He is Y11. SN and SEN. No ECHp. No School place. Online provision is appalling. It is affecting his MH (and mine frankly)

OP you have all my sympathies.x

@SansaSnark Ah scrap that thought then, I don’t think she’d be allowed to do that. She emailed asking us all for permission to do video calls from within school (previous calls were from her home as she was home with her own child) so the kids could do an hours play together daily and from the follow up email I think quite a few parents had safeguarding issues and said no.

I should point out that the video calls are not lessons, they were purely the kids chatting, what I’m missing out on is the opportunity to ask any questions live and the fact she’s mentioning things like sending home resources and to expect emails from the head on the call but not putting that information in the files with the work so if you miss one call your on the back foot. She did initially send the work via email too but is now solely using teams which surprises me as not even half the class are engaging with it and half that did the first few days have stopped.

True @SansaSnark. Sorry, yes.I hadn't thought of that.

My school are ok with it but we do make sure we only record the teacher input (so sharing the screen & PowerPoint or whatever and task instructions). All children are muted & parents can only see the teacher's screen.

Might be worth an ask if the teacher doesn't realise you can do this on Teams?

Oh dear OP. It does sound like a bit of a mess &free for all. No wonder you're lost with it all. Doesn't sound like it's working for anyone at the moment.

Hope you can get to speak to the teacher & get something sorted.

Hi OP, just wanted to try to help with the RWInc phonics work- on YouTube there’s lots of videos of the sounds/pronunciations. Particularly recommend John Pau for you to look at. Hope that helps x

@SallyTheSloth Thanks for that, will look at that. He absolutely loves doing the phonics work, I just wish I knew what I was doing so I could support him better.

Tomorrow’s learning task involves pom poms, paint and glitter - none of which we have in the house and I won’t be leaving the house to obtain them so that’s going be fun to bodge

Sounds like you're in the same boat as every teacher and every parent Op!
Cut yourself and the teacher some slack.
This is brand new to all of us!

[quote Specksofwhiteallaround]@Wheresmykimchi I’m obviously aware my child isn’t the only child, not entirely sure why the fact that other parents may or may not be emailing her means I should accept no contact for mine...?
I’ve said I don’t expect an instant reply but I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect to have at least one conversation with her? She’s had the time to make several comments on the uploaded videos one of the other children on teams, if she’s so inundated with emails that she doesn’t have time to talk to me surely she could spare a few seconds to let me know so I can lower my expectations a bit.[/quote]
I didn't say you should accept no contact. I was responding to you saying that there is a problem if she can't reply to one email.

For what it's worth if everything is as you say it doesn't sound great.

@Wheresmykimchi I get that she can’t respond to everyone immediately but I still think that if she’s so over worked that between herself and three teaching assistants there’s not enough time to reply to questions about work they’re setting within the space of a week then there’s a problem. It’s not a criticism of them, if that’s the case they shouldn’t be in that position.

Personally I think if she has the time to send out multiple emails a day about the video calls and leave comments on some parents videos, she can spare two minutes to clarify which chart I should be using in this weeks work so I can get on with it.

So in the 5 working days since schools changed how they work on one day's notice, you have sent the teacher (who is also managing a class of children with additional needs and facilitating twice daily video calls):

5 emails
2 Teams messages
5 phone messages

Any class of children with educational needs that justify 3 teaching assistants isn't one where the teacher is coasting.

You need to seriously calm down or accept that your relentless barrage may be putting the teacher off contacting you.

It’s not a criticism of them, if that’s the case they shouldn’t be in that position.

@Specksofwhiteallaround why don’t you go be a teacher then? Go whole hog and teach at a special school, as you seem to think it should be so easy.

[quote Specksofwhiteallaround]@Wheresmykimchi I get that she can’t respond to everyone immediately but I still think that if she’s so over worked that between herself and three teaching assistants there’s not enough time to reply to questions about work they’re setting within the space of a week then there’s a problem. It’s not a criticism of them, if that’s the case they shouldn’t be in that position.

Personally I think if she has the time to send out multiple emails a day about the video calls and leave comments on some parents videos, she can spare two minutes to clarify which chart I should be using in this weeks work so I can get on with it.[/quote]
No offence OP, but why are you tracking what she is sending to other parents?

@Becles where on earth have you got that from? I haven’t phoned her once so that’s wrong. It hasn’t been five working days either, I had two phone calls and three emails from her on Monday when she thought he would be able to attend, and she’s been sending out emails everyday since then as the situation has changed.

I haven’t been sending endless emails, Ive actually only sent her one to ask for a missing worksheet, the other emails sent were a reply to ones from her where I’ve added a question regarding work in my reply and those went unanswered. I sent one message on teams but it wasn’t even directly to her, it was a general question about uploading that another parent replied to...

Not sure where Im supposed to have said she’s coasting, if anything I’m getting a constant barrage of contact from her it’s just that none of it is actually a reply to anything I’ve said to her. I do think it’s kind of annoying that she has the time to send out video call invites three times a day for an hour a time, but can’t spare the time to include a pdf with the resources we need to do the home learning file when she uploads it on Monday but I’m not harassing her over it or frothing at the mouth so no need to calm down

@Xmasgrump Where did I say I thought it was easy??

@Wheresmykimchi No offence but I’m not tracking other parents, she’s been actively encouraging us to use teams to chat to each other as she thought it would be useful and give us all extra support etc. All the comments are in general chat so everyone can see what’s being said, any other parent can read the comment she made on my kids work at the start of the week. It also shows who’s online or not, it’s hard not to notice that when you go on yourself. We’re not all snooping on each other...

[quote Specksofwhiteallaround]@Xmasgrump Where did I say I thought it was easy??

@Wheresmykimchi No offence but I’m not tracking other parents, she’s been actively encouraging us to use teams to chat to each other as she thought it would be useful and give us all extra support etc. All the comments are in general chat so everyone can see what’s being said, any other parent can read the comment she made on my kids work at the start of the week. It also shows who’s online or not, it’s hard not to notice that when you go on yourself. We’re not all snooping on each other...[/quote]
But it does sound like that , OP

She's not answering my email but look she commented on such and such's video and made this comment.

It all just sounds so....unhealthy.

If you feel you have grounds to complain then do it and go above her head but they will not and should not be discussing her interaction with anyone else's child, so this whole teams thing to me is very odd.

www.ruthmiskin.com/en/
Read write inc are doing free phonics lessons daily at 9.30.
Go to the link above and you can access them. The lesson is then available for24 hours. If your child doesn't sit through it you could have a watch and then you would know how to support him the 'read write inc way' which is quite prescriptive.

home.oxfordowl.co.uk/reading/
This link is free e books to complement the RWI scheme. You need to have a browse to see what is suitable for your son's needs.
Hope this is helpful.

Stop emailing and instead ask for guidance on the Teams chat. Then other people can help answer or get help too.

Spend a bit of time tonight when DC is in bed getting to grips with Teams while there's no pressure, just explore the platform. If there are multiple channels, there might be different files in each. It's daunting when a child is watching you or you have a time pressure, so getting to grips with it in your own time is important.

I suspect that if your email is a general panic, making it clear you don't know anything about teams, then she will have to spend considerable time figuring out how to answer/phrase the answer. You should say where you have checked, what you see etc. so she can answer easily.

Just to add, your son will be on set 1 starting m a s d t i n etc the programs started on the 5th Jan so today was probably n and tomorrow will be p.
The order is on the website.

@Wheresmykimchi I only mentioned it in the context of her having time during the day and evening to post comments on teams as so many posters were piling on to say she’s obviously far too busy to answer emails. I was trying to point out that yes she’s undoubtedly busy but the time it took to write those comments probably amounted to the same amount of time it’d take to respond to a question on the work sent in an email. It’s kind of hard to not notice that almost none of the other parents are using it as I have to go on it a few times a day to upload Ds's work and we’re all expected to use the same folder, I think its human nature to wonder why. Your implying I’m jealously keeping score on her interactions with other parents and that’s just fanciful.

I’ve no intention of complaining, I was just, like a lot of people right now, having a bit of a rant about finding home learning hard and wishing it could be easier. Personally I absolutely hate teams and would be far happier just email her the work as was initially planned but she’s very keen for everyone to use it so we’ll just muddle on with it and hope we’re getting some of it right.

[quote Specksofwhiteallaround]@Wheresmykimchi I only mentioned it in the context of her having time during the day and evening to post comments on teams as so many posters were piling on to say she’s obviously far too busy to answer emails. I was trying to point out that yes she’s undoubtedly busy but the time it took to write those comments probably amounted to the same amount of time it’d take to respond to a question on the work sent in an email. It’s kind of hard to not notice that almost none of the other parents are using it as I have to go on it a few times a day to upload Ds's work and we’re all expected to use the same folder, I think its human nature to wonder why. Your implying I’m jealously keeping score on her interactions with other parents and that’s just fanciful.

I’ve no intention of complaining, I was just, like a lot of people right now, having a bit of a rant about finding home learning hard and wishing it could be easier. Personally I absolutely hate teams and would be far happier just email her the work as was initially planned but she’s very keen for everyone to use it so we’ll just muddle on with it and hope we’re getting some of it right.[/quote]
You seem to think she has the power to make these decisions - not use teams , make PDFs

I'd imagine she doesn't. I'm not implying anything , I'm telling you how it looks.

Has your son been set any ‘assignments’ on teams? That’s where I set all the work, with all attachments necessary attached to the assignment. Are you sure she isn’t doing that, then mentioning in the team that they need to do their phonics and to look at the worksheet (or whatever)?

I do think you’re probably missing out by not joining the daily calls. In my morning call I go through the timetable with my class - she might well be outlining daily activities in that too. If your son can’t cope with them can you join and listen at least?

Try asking questions like ‘does anyone know where the worksheet for maths is’ on the team so everyone can see it, then one of the other parents can point you in the right direction maybe.

We do all communication about remote learning via teams not email, because emails just get lost amongst all the other emails we get day in day out from SLT, marketing stuff, other members of staff etc. We set all the work on teams so it’s much easier if it’s all submitted on there too. If the work is being set/submitted via assignments, you won’t be able to see what the other parents are/aren’t submitting either.

We do video all calls because from a safeguarding perspective, if a child accuses an adult of anything untoward, the call has been videoed to prove what happened/didn’t happen.

@Wheresmykimchi Well on day one she sent out a general email with instructions about emailing the work to her but on day two she said she thought teams would be a great platform for us all to keep in contact and suddenly nothing was being done by email anymore so while the use of teams in general wasn’t her idea, deciding to do everything there exclusively seemed to come from her. But perhaps you know better.

When I asked if I had somehow missed the worksheet for last weeks home learning as she did say some things would be sent home but I haven’t received anything like that yet she managed to send it me as a pdf so again she had the power to do that, I’m fairly sure she could have included it in the original file as she obviously had access to it but maybe not, I didn’t think it was particularly unreasonable to ask for it in any case.