AIBU to wish Ds teacher would give me more details re home learning?

[Specksofwhiteallaround]

In case it’s relevant my son is 6 and has ASD so attends a special school. His teacher is doing all his teaching via Microsoft Teams and I’m struggling already as I’m finding it hard to use and his teacher has never used it before either. I had to email for clarification on almost everything she set last week and after seeing this weeks tasks it’s the same all over again. I feel like I’m constantly harassing her and most of the time I’m not even getting a reply which reinforces the feeling I’m being really annoying.

It’s things like the links she posts don’t work or she mentions a worksheet but it isn’t included in the file and no info on where to get hold of it. She also has mentioned different phases of work but I’ve no idea what phase ds is at or where I would have learned this as it wasn’t brought up at the last parent teacher call I had with her. He doesn’t get homework and what he’s doing each term and day is only briefly mentioned in the daily email so I can’t really hazard a guess.

She’s doing twice daily video calls (and wanted to include three more a day linking up with the children who are in school) but these had such a horrible effect on my son that we’ve since opted out of them. So now we’re obviously missing out on a lot of additional details regarding the home learning and the opportunity to ask for help and she isn’t replying to messages during the day which is frustrating. I get that it’s easier for her to do everything via video calls but it’s just not worth the negative effects on ds and to be honest it was a bit of a waste a time as the other kids are very excited and very loud so we didn’t even hear any of what she was saying, the app also didn’t pick up our microphone so ds couldn’t even join in.

Today’s work just says to complete speed sounds with children on sounds they already know (use chart to help) but I don’t know what the sounds are and there’s no indication of what the chart is or where to get it. Definitely feeling like the world’s worst parent for not knowing exactly where he’s up to but at the same time I sort of assumed if I needed to know they’d tell me as we obviously discuss his EHCP goals etc every term. I’ve tried searching online as I know what phonics they’re using but there’s different phases and stages mentioned so I’m no clearer.

I just wish she would assume most parents won’t know off the bat what chart or worksheet she’s referring to and include a pdf or a link or something that identifies she actually wants me to be doing with him. On the other hand I do understand she’s under a lot of pressure and the circumstances aren’t ideal for all of us so I’m not sure how unreasonable Im being in my expectations so looking for a bit of perspective.

@modgepodge she is uploading the work in files on Monday morning and has asked the parents to upload the work and photos of anything our kids is up to in the same place so it’s all visible to everyone. Initially she wanted it in the same folder but that wasn’t possible so me and another parent have made a separate folder in our child’s name to put everything into.
With only one other parent so far are using it there’s not a lot of opportunities to ask for help. She did send a general email suggesting one to one video calls and I did reply saying I’d be happy to do that but never heard back so no idea what’s happening there, I assume if it was an option she’d contact us.

I would say 'relax'. Your 6 year old is in special school. It won't matter whether you do a particular sound, glittery pom poms or some other sensory activity.

Do you have any cornflour? Mix a bit with water (oobleck) and let him puddle his fingers in it. Take some photos. "DS really enjoyed some sensory play today".

Take some pictures of him counting something.

Honestly, just engage him and upload those photos. You could say "we didn't quite understand the worksheet, but DS has done x".

DD1 (15) is in special school. Class Dojo went down yesterday. I knew she was meant to be doing something about time to one minute, so I found a worksheet online, got her to do it, then, when Dojo was back up, I posted it with "Dojo went down but DD has done these worksheets."

[quote Specksofwhiteallaround]@Wheresmykimchi Well on day one she sent out a general email with instructions about emailing the work to her but on day two she said she thought teams would be a great platform for us all to keep in contact and suddenly nothing was being done by email anymore so while the use of teams in general wasn’t her idea, deciding to do everything there exclusively seemed to come from her. But perhaps you know better.

When I asked if I had somehow missed the worksheet for last weeks home learning as she did say some things would be sent home but I haven’t received anything like that yet she managed to send it me as a pdf so again she had the power to do that, I’m fairly sure she could have included it in the original file as she obviously had access to it but maybe not, I didn’t think it was particularly unreasonable to ask for it in any case.[/quote]
It's not about knowing better , it's about seeing the bigger picture. Classroom teachers don't make half the decisions parents think they do.

@Wheresmykimchi Who makes the over all decisions is irrelevant to this though. She’s the one physically uploading the work so of course she’s the person I’m going to contact with any questions about it. I’m not going to ring reception on the off chance someone else added the links that don’t work or that they might know where to find the resources , I’m sure they’re busy enough

[quote Specksofwhiteallaround]@Wheresmykimchi Who makes the over all decisions is irrelevant to this though. She’s the one physically uploading the work so of course she’s the person I’m going to contact with any questions about it. I’m not going to ring reception on the off chance someone else added the links that don’t work or that they might know where to find the resources , I’m sure they’re busy enough [/quote]
It's not irrelevant. I'm not telling you to do that. But you said about why doesn't she do this and this instead of this. It might not be her decision. I don't know many teachers who decide how their department is going to operate lessons.

You just sound very passive aggressive and critical. If you're not happy with how she is doing things , speak to her or go above.

@Lougle that’s pretty much what we’ve been doing so far. Some of the tasks are actually pretty hard to document so I think I’m a bit paranoid she’ll think we’re not doing the work. We’ve not yet worked out how to add text to the photos so some of the photos don’t make too much sense, hoping she’ll let me know if there’s a problem with that

@Wheresmykimchi If it’s passive aggressive to have a whinge on an anonymous forum about home learning teething problems then fair enough I guess I am. I haven’t voiced any of my annoyance to her and had no intention of doing so. I accept that this is the way it is but I don’t have to say it’s working well for me as it’s not.

Would you say that everyone who starts a thread on mumsnet about something that’s annoying them is being passive aggressive and critical? Curious to know if your on other threads where people have criticised some aspect of home learning saying the same thing?

[quote Specksofwhiteallaround]@Wheresmykimchi If it’s passive aggressive to have a whinge on an anonymous forum about home learning teething problems then fair enough I guess I am. I haven’t voiced any of my annoyance to her and had no intention of doing so. I accept that this is the way it is but I don’t have to say it’s working well for me as it’s not.

Would you say that everyone who starts a thread on mumsnet about something that’s annoying them is being passive aggressive and critical? Curious to know if your on other threads where people have criticised some aspect of home learning saying the same thing?[/quote]
It is passive aggressive. You're not saying that you don't like your approach , you're phrasing it as 'well i didn't think that would be an issue / I just thought if she had time to do this she could do that / I didn't think it was too much to ask but obviously I'm wrong ' type . That is passive aggression.

I would challenge anyone criticising home learning but it's the wide eyed faux 'i don't understand' masking bashing the teacher and the system that gets my goat.

@Wheresmykimchi I don’t understand why she can’t find a few minutes in her day to contact me about an action she proposed, no faux naivety here. If she doesn’t want to talk to me why include me in the many emails saying she’s available anytime to help. I’m not a complete dick though so I’ve only expressed that opinion anonymously here and I’m rapidly wishing I hadn’t.

Do not agree that having a couple of issues with how things are going means I’m bashing her at all. Ive spoken to her several times before the second lockdown and think she’s a great teacher who does a fantastic job with my son. Does that mean I think she’s perfect? No, of course not. I’ve no idea why your taking it so personally?

[quote Specksofwhiteallaround]@Wheresmykimchi I don’t understand why she can’t find a few minutes in her day to contact me about an action she proposed, no faux naivety here. If she doesn’t want to talk to me why include me in the many emails saying she’s available anytime to help. I’m not a complete dick though so I’ve only expressed that opinion anonymously here and I’m rapidly wishing I hadn’t.

Do not agree that having a couple of issues with how things are going means I’m bashing her at all. Ive spoken to her several times before the second lockdown and think she’s a great teacher who does a fantastic job with my son. Does that mean I think she’s perfect? No, of course not. I’ve no idea why your taking it so personally?[/quote]
Not taking it personally, I just don't agree.

[quote Specksofwhiteallaround]@Becles where on earth have you got that from? I haven’t phoned her once so that’s wrong. It hasn’t been five working days either, I had two phone calls and three emails from her on Monday when she thought he would be able to attend, and she’s been sending out emails everyday since then as the situation has changed.

I haven’t been sending endless emails, Ive actually only sent her one to ask for a missing worksheet, the other emails sent were a reply to ones from her where I’ve added a question regarding work in my reply and those went unanswered. I sent one message on teams but it wasn’t even directly to her, it was a general question about uploading that another parent replied to...

Not sure where Im supposed to have said she’s coasting, if anything I’m getting a constant barrage of contact from her it’s just that none of it is actually a reply to anything I’ve said to her. I do think it’s kind of annoying that she has the time to send out video call invites three times a day for an hour a time, but can’t spare the time to include a pdf with the resources we need to do the home learning file when she uploads it on Monday but I’m not harassing her over it or frothing at the mouth so no need to calm down [/quote]
Your own words 4-5 days into this

I had to email for clarification on almost everything she set last week

she isn’t replying to messages during the day which is frustrating

Phone calls up to Monday morning:twice last week and again today but received no answer

I’ve emailed her back in reply to her emails regarding the video calls three times and once asking if it might be possible to speak to her over the phone

I emailed once to ask which worksheet she meant which she didn’t answer

I messaged her again on teams about the worksheet

I asked generally on teams how to upload files to the folder she specified

Maybe the problem is she is spending so much time on these video calls. Some schools have been pushed towards the live and video calls and this takes a lot of time but actually doesn't work that well for people. I have posted before on this and I think that the clamour for live and video has really backfired. The teacher is probably spending far too much time on this kind of blended learning. Think about what you really need vs what would be your ideal and then you are probably about right.
Judging by your posts:
You need her to post the work on a single doc or in one place on teams or wherever in the morning each day OR she puts the week on there on Monday (She might not be able to do this - it could be in the ideal realm.
She sends you some info on Read write inc where you can see the sounds and things she refers to in her lessons
Video calls - if they are not helpful to ds or you, don't do them or compromise and do one towards the end of the week where ds can share some of his work with his friends.

If the school have asked him to not come in then they do need a clear way of sending out the home learning.
If she isn't willing to meet you anywhere between what you need and what is the ideal, take it up with the head as it is in all likelihood the school's choice to work in this way. The teacher may well have no choice.

@cansu

Maybe the problem is she is spending so much time on these video calls. Some schools have been pushed towards the live and video calls and this takes a lot of time but actually doesn't work that well for people. I have posted before on this and I think that the clamour for live and video has really backfired. The teacher is probably spending far too much time on this kind of blended learning. Think about what you really need vs what would be your ideal and then you are probably about right. Judging by your posts: You need her to post the work on a single doc or in one place on teams or wherever in the morning each day OR she puts the week on there on Monday (She might not be able to do this - it could be in the ideal realm. She sends you some info on Read write inc where you can see the sounds and things she refers to in her lessons Video calls - if they are not helpful to ds or you, don't do them or compromise and do one towards the end of the week where ds can share some of his work with his friends.

If the school have asked him to not come in then they do need a clear way of sending out the home learning.
If she isn't willing to meet you anywhere between what you need and what is the ideal, take it up with the head as it is in all likelihood the school's choice to work in this way. The teacher may well have no choice.

This is good advice.

Certainly IME id be astounded if it hasn't come from above.

If current communication isn't working OP the quickest route is don't do the work. She has a duty to chase that up .

@Becles when I said I’d had to email for clarification on a lot of the work I didn’t expect people to take it so literally. She sent three emails to my personal email for various reasons, I replied to what she was asking and included a couple of questions about the work, missing links etc. Oh, I also sent one message explaining why I was opting out of the video calls for now and said she could call me if she wanted or needed to discuss it. When there was no reply I sent an email from the one she has set up in sons name specifically about the worksheet and she did reply to that. So a handful of emails and one message not directly to her on teams in total and she has said more than once to contact her with any questions or problems... This week the work is just as confusing but I haven’t contacted her at all.

I’ve never phoned her, I’ve never mentioned me phoning her, you’ve either misunderstood or made that bit up.

@cansu she currently posts the weeks work in the files on teams which is fine, I have no problems accessing it.

Not sure how this has turned into a big debate on me harassing my sons teacher. My main gripe was that the tasks that we’re being set are missing bits and I don’t feel I can keep pestering her for them. Going by the comments on here I was right to think that... It was just things like the task tells you to fill in the worksheet and it’s not there, or when she asks you to watch a video but it doesn’t exist. I don’t want to keep asking what I’m supposed to do but I don’t really want to just skip the tasks either which is why I’m finding it frustrating. The assumption that I know what resources I’ll need and where to find them, is probably a separate issue but again without speaking to her I’m not sure how I’m supposed to resolve it. I do try to google it myself and hope I’ve understood it correctly but without any feedback I don’t know if it’s acceptable or not.

[quote Specksofwhiteallaround]@cansu she currently posts the weeks work in the files on teams which is fine, I have no problems accessing it.

Not sure how this has turned into a big debate on me harassing my sons teacher. My main gripe was that the tasks that we’re being set are missing bits and I don’t feel I can keep pestering her for them. Going by the comments on here I was right to think that... It was just things like the task tells you to fill in the worksheet and it’s not there, or when she asks you to watch a video but it doesn’t exist. I don’t want to keep asking what I’m supposed to do but I don’t really want to just skip the tasks either which is why I’m finding it frustrating. The assumption that I know what resources I’ll need and where to find them, is probably a separate issue but again without speaking to her I’m not sure how I’m supposed to resolve it. I do try to google it myself and hope I’ve understood it correctly but without any feedback I don’t know if it’s acceptable or not.[/quote]
Having read this update I see your point far more than before. You need to call the school and say the above b

OK so the issue is that there are some links and worksheets missing or you don't know where to look. This could come under the heading of she is working it out! Maybe give it this week and see if it improves. If not, ask to speak to her as suggested. If she doesn't call, ring and speak to someone on SLT. I am a teacher and I do endeavour to return calls within a couple of days. Tread carefully though as some schools are really struggling at the moment but there should be someone who can and will help you on SLT.

If your mic doesn't work there is the option of live chat in Teams so you can ask questions during the session. I teach and it's easy to have this going alongside the verbal conversation too .

As she is in school and setting online work she will be busy, but, your son isn't accessing the group chats, you have emailed concerns and they haven't even been aknowledged? 🤔

I work in asn, I am in some form of daily contact with my kids, either in class, online or through slt. If parents have concerns or question as a team we will reply within 24h, normally earlier.

You are not being an annoying parent, just a concerned one. Contact the head teacher, explain you just need some help, heck, we all do. As a teacher I have no problem supporting parents and in special/asn we don't have 30+ families emailing daily.

Teams has also been playing up, if that's what you use, with work vanishing so it could be glitches. Seesaw if more stable and offers much quicker interaction. Good luck.

Oh op that sounds like a right shambles. Hope you manage to reach the teacher. I got a reply from an email I'd sent before they broke up from school today 😳

From school for xmas that should have said

@EachDubh I don’t think it’s teams being glitchy as much as no one including the teacher and TA's know how to use it so we’re all struggling with it.

I wouldn’t say she’s not addressed my concerns as such, she emphasised several times that the the video calls are optional so I guess there’s nothing for her to say regarding us opting out.

I guess what’s annoying for me is that they’re not lessons, they were just for the kids to interact and parents have an opportunity to have face to face contact with her, other parents and the TA's and it didn’t occur to me she’d be only available to speak to then if that makes sense.
The middle of last week, she added more video calls daily and said that she’d be available for 1:1 calls so I replied saying we’d be happy to do that and she didn’t get back to me but that might be because she’s too busy so we’ll just wait and see, I don’t feel I can keep chasing it up.

@wantmorenow that’s handy to know. For some reason the microphone just doesn’t pick up our voices so we were stuck there listening to everyone else and not able to join in.

@cansu I wasn’t planning on complaining or anything drastic as I do get that it’s been hardly any time and no one knows how to use teams. I was just having an ill advised rant at the work again referencing a lot of things I’ve never heard of before and wishing she could be a bit clearer with what she wants us to do as it feels like I’m harassing her if I asked for more help.
I’m just getting a bit bogged down with it as there’s no practical help with home learning unless I can get teams working and somehow get Ds to go along with the video calls. I also have social anxiety so I’m probably more stressing more about doing it right than I should be.