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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DD black bra, white blouse?

86 replies

rabbitheadlights · 10/01/2021 21:26

I know when we were younger it was seen as inappropriate/ a bit tarty.

Does it really matter these days? Would you advise your DD's against it?

OP posts:

donewithitalltodayandxmas · 10/01/2021 22:06

Yes as others said in the 90's wore lots of see through/ net type tops that you could clearly see the bra
My mum prob didn't think appropriate but she wouldn't say as knows I would of taken no notice
Can't get away with it nowadays as need a ugly supportive bra so I don't trip over my boobs ,

thefirstmrsrochester · 10/01/2021 22:14

So long as it’s not for going to school, it’s fine.

PlanDeRaccordement · 10/01/2021 22:14

I would not say anything so long as she has a mirror.
She probably knows.
And I think it is not risqué today anyway. Wasn’t the last decade full of women wearing NO bra at all? I think a visible bra under a top is actually considered a bit old fashioned now.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 10/01/2021 22:15

I think its fine as long as she's aware it's showing. Might just be that she stuck it on and didn't think about the colour so I would mention it. Would also mention it if she is very young.

FortunesFave · 10/01/2021 22:15

YABU for saying "tarty" OP. Stop buying into that old crap. The idea that bras should be invisible is a hangback from the bad old days when women were accused of tempting men into assaulting them.

eenymeanieminymo · 10/01/2021 22:17

It was seen as cool when I was at school to wear a dark bra under a white shirt so I wouldn't be surprised if it was a thing now.

Staywithmemyblood · 10/01/2021 22:17

@WeeDangerousSpike

It was a thing when I was at secondary in the late 90s. All the popular girls wore dark bras under fitted white blouses. I wouldn't be surprised if it's still a thing with all the celebs that wear sheer outfits.

Yup, still a thing here anyway. DD(15) and her friends wear black bras under their white school blouses 🙈😂

TerrifiedOfTrying4No2 · 10/01/2021 22:18

I don’t really see it as trashy or tarty I guess- I don’t think being able to see a bra through a shirt makes you trashy.. or a tart. But I do see it as not very well put together.

I personally would never have my bra showing through my clothes when it’s not meant to. (Sheer blouses are/were a thing recently?!)

I’d advise her not to. But it’s not that big of a deal in respect to ‘girls have boobs, get over it’

Emeraldshamrock · 10/01/2021 22:19

It is fine, the boys wear turned up ankle jeans and white socks or invisible socks with ankles on display they were a no no in my youth.

Leannethom85 · 10/01/2021 22:26

My daughter wears all colours sport bras under her white shirts and wouldn't care what anyone said to her, then again she's on the rudgy team so I doubt many people would say anything to her.

anneyc · 10/01/2021 22:27

I Asked 18 yr old DD as I'm the wrong generation to answer this. Depends on age, where she's going, what sort of top, how it's worn, if it's not a push up bra (so not trying to be noticed- not too revealing etc) then can be quite classy.

Lemonpiano · 10/01/2021 22:29

I think there's a difference between being aware from your reflection that your bra can be seen through your top if you study it, and being aware that other people will be looking at your chest and your bra, judging and commenting.

So she might be making a statement or she might just not realise how other people will ogle or react.

I hadn't realised people still got upset about this stuff until someone I worked with kicked off about a woman's bra straps being visible. It still baffles me that anyone would care.

Theunamedcat · 10/01/2021 22:31

Our headteacher would go through the roof if you tried it at my old high school he was also hot on tucked in shirts and belts on boys trousers i dont see any former classmates wearing there trousers at half mast like was fashionable a couple of years ago

covidaintacrime · 10/01/2021 22:32

@mumwon

raised eyebrow - "so past it dear they use to wear that in the (insert decade) - I always think black bras make white shirts look - dingy" or "is this deliberate? or fashion statement? bit old hat (appropriate current term instead) Do you need some new bras?" or "that's nice dear" (daughter looks horror struck at dm approval rushes off to change)

I would find this quite judgy / snarky. I reckon you should just leave your DD be, OP, it's just clothing.

partyatthepalace · 10/01/2021 22:33

Well not for school or work but beyond that I wouldn’t worry about it. Unless she is so young you don’t think she realises in which case just point it out neutrally.

I do think you have to try and find a way to discuss v sexualised dressing w mid teens, or they can end up getting reactions they aren’t equipped to deal with. But I wouldn’t think this falls into that.

Bluntness100 · 10/01/2021 22:34

Meh let her crack on. Don’t get me wrong, as a full grown adult I’d not be wearing that look to work, but as a teenager if they want to, I’d just let her.

Hugoslavia · 10/01/2021 22:35

If you do ever wish to change the way that your DD dresses, the best way is to admire her sense of fashion and go out and buy similar outfits. It would soon nip it in the bud.

echt · 10/01/2021 22:35

The nuns at my school in 60s-70s - the time not their age- would do their nut about visible bras.

Thewinterofdiscontent · 10/01/2021 22:35

Bras are there to make tits more comfortable. It’s not like no one can tell you are wearing a bra if it’s skin coloured either.
Wear bras how you like I say.

Original poster

rabbitheadlights · 10/01/2021 22:37

@FortunesFave I said d that's how people used to see it, not that I do

OP posts:

PawPawNoodle · 10/01/2021 22:37

Having a skirt that showed your ankles was tarty at one stage. Things change.

I remember in school a good 15 years ago wearing a black bra under your white shirt was just a way of going 'look I have boobs now'.

InTheNightWeWillWish · 10/01/2021 22:37

Why are we only concerned with black bras and white tops? Is it because black bras are seen as more sexy and white bras more pure and functional. Because sometimes you can just as easily see a white bra through a black top. As I’ve discovered (accidentally) several times.

PickAChew · 10/01/2021 22:46

Risque or not, it does look a bit crap.

BluePeterVag · 10/01/2021 22:56

When I was a high school, mid nineties, this was a thing. We had horrid yellow blouses though. I don’t remember anyone every saying anything as I think we almost all did it.

sergeilavrov · 10/01/2021 22:59

I work in a region where modesty is key. My bra shows through many of my work blouses as their material is soft and not fully opaque for the heat, not a problem. I wear the bra and the long sleeved shirt I need to, the rest of the expectation falls on men not to be weird about it. I doubt anyone thinks I’m a tart. They certainly aren’t brave enough to treat me like it.

If she likes her outfit, I wouldn’t ruin it for her. If you think she wouldn’t like it, tell her in a positive, ‘I love your outfit’ kind of way.

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