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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the school hasn’t thought it through.

138 replies

Canneverthinkofagoodusername · 10/01/2021 19:11

Firstly, I would like to say I have respect for all schools and teaching staff through this tough time and I know that they are under a huge amount of pressure and all that.

Generally the school (primary!) dc go to is fantastic, supportive etc.

But I feel they haven’t really been fair at all!

Firstly they prioritised keyworker children which is great but they’ve given spaces to children who still have one parent at home. They’ve given children with just one keyworker parent a full 5 days as those parents were given first choice before anyone else.

As there is a fair few keyworker children at the school it’s left little to no capacity for any children that are vulnerable!

Aibu to think they should have prioritised those children with both parents being keyworkers, then vulnerable children and then keyworker children with one parent still at home if spaces available rather than no provision for vulnerable children. Some children have been given 1, 2 or 3 days depending on space. Some go the full week.

I only ask as DS is somewhat vulnerable and hasn’t been given any provision. He is on the spectrum and has an EHCP. He didn’t go during the last lockdown for various reasons but we didn’t anticipate how bad things would get. The social skills we built years learning become too hard for him, it took several weeks to settle him into school in September - to the point where he was screaming outside the school every morning sitting on the grass just refusing to budge. He started suffering from severe anxiety, panic episodes. He wasn’t himself at all. He was biting himself in frustration etc. Lashing out at us. All issues he didn’t have before lockdown and it was just the anxiety about the virus and not seeing anyone apart from us - for someone on the spectrum he is a very sociable boy and thrives on it.

Basically he went from a happy go lucky child who was generally settled and happy at school with support to an over anxious, snappy and at times would lash out which isn’t like him at all . To the point that I had the school putting a cause for concern record on us and blamed us after he changed so much during lockdown. Very little work got done during lockdown (I was always honest about this and the school knew this from the start!) and he’s already behind his peers by 2 years.

Thing is things have got improved since September. He’s more settled and usually enjoying school but I’m worried sick a prolonged time off school is really going to set us back and we will be back to that again.

His behaviour at home isn’t great and it affects Dd. Partner doesn’t qualify as a keyworker but has worked throughout all lockdowns and long hours. The pressure is on me.

As well as this we had a terrible 2020 as family not just due to covid but various other things - death in the family etc etc.

This isn’t the case of me trying to get him into school for my own benefit. Of course it would take the strain off me but it would really benefit DS being in school as well as benefitting the school after they knew how hard things were settling him back in. I would rather keep him home safe but I feel the benefit of DS being in school outweighs the risk.

the school have said he isn’t classed as vulnerable as no social care involved but he has an EHCP and we’ve had all these issues above and I’m drained and scared to be honest.

As far as I know that only only child in DS’s class has both keyworker parents and they are going 3 days a week yet another child with just one keyworker parent is 5 days a week.. there’s just no logic.

To add, the work on google classroom is way too hard for DS and we haven’t been given anything else yet. He has 1:1 support at school and I just can’t motivate him to concentrate like he does at school. 😭

If they are off for weeks or months it’s not just the case of him going back to school. Settling him in takes him so long.

They can’t magic up a school space can they 😭😭

OP posts:
Mumofsend · 11/01/2021 07:53

@gah2teenagers your daughter being vulnerable and working in a nursery isn't the fault of a child with an ehcp. Really nurseries are supposed to be 100% at the moment, I know my DS's is.

Canneverthinkofagoodusername · 11/01/2021 08:33

@gah2teenagers

There are 13 weeks holiday a year ? What do you do in the summer holidays ? You are at home. Find ways to stimulate and entertain him yourself. He doesn’t need to be babysat at school. Don’t play the victim here you don’t know all the ins and outs of the key workers situation. Poor school staff having to cope with all these children. Stay home.
If you really need to know the school holidays can be a struggle too! But you expect the school holidays! Usually in a school holiday we aren’t in a lockdown so we can get out and do things. Extended weeks off school is not fun with a child with sen. Lockdown is not fun with confined to a house!
OP posts:
SnowmanDrinkingSnowballs · 11/01/2021 09:42

@gingerbiscuits

If he has an EHCP & a funded 1:1 TA then he should DEFINITELY get a place!

I'm a teacher & am keen to dissuade people from sending their kids when they really could avoid it but in your case your child absolutely qualifies & IS vulnerable.

At my school, all of our EHCP children were immediately offered a place & where parents have taken us up on it their 1:1 TAs are with them as normal.

Our school is pretty bloody amazing though- all of our staff are balancing being in school teaching key worker & vulnerable children (including wraparound care) with recording lessons & supporting home learning for everyone else. Most of us are doing over & above our normal hours. Differentiated work & intervention sessions start this week, too.

Not gonna lie - it's as scary as hell but what choice do we have?

The TA funded by my dd’s care plan is being used to supervise the keyworker group. Only one day a week but still it galls a bit when my daughters funding is being used to pay her salary.
Frazzled2207 · 11/01/2021 09:46

Agree you need to challenge this. IMO your child should be near the top of the priority list.

Our school is also only letting kids in full time or nothing. Which makes no sense as parents are sending kids in full time when they only need the place 2dpw. I know it complicates the bubble but IMO places should be allowed to be “shared” in these kinds of cases.

caringcarer · 11/01/2021 09:54

I was told my vulnerable child with HCP could not go either but after Williamson statement in House of Commons and going on Gov website I contacted his SW and she told school not just he must be admitted but all children with HCP must be admitted. Advise is to report to OFSTED any school refusing to admit and teach children with HCP as they are breaking Department of Education rules. Stand up for your child.

Hankunamatata · 11/01/2021 10:25

Since he has a 1:1 he should be allowed in school. He can sit with his 1:1 and do the work that the teacher is setting the kids ar home. This is exactly what my kids are doing

deliciouschilli · 11/01/2021 11:59

Did you get a place OP?

mrschristmastime · 11/01/2021 13:53

That's unfair I think. Our school has allowed all in full time (to keep them in a routine rather than mix and match home schooling with face to face) where they have one key worker or are vulnerable. They have had too many requests so are now asking if parents can send them part time. The head has said if that doesn't bring down numbers the priorities will be 1. Vulnerable children, 2. Children with two key worker parents (or one of lone parent) and 2. Children with one key worker parent. My DD has SEN (no EHCP yet but gets full time 1:1) and is in full time. Her brother is at home as we aren't key workers.

Canneverthinkofagoodusername · 11/01/2021 18:10

Spoken to the school and they going to look into where they can fit him in. Possibly just 2-3 days a week from next week which honestly will be better than nothing. Time will tell!

OP posts:
Frazzled2207 · 11/01/2021 18:26

that would be brilliant. Well done for asking.

Hadenough80 · 11/01/2021 18:29

It states in black and white quite clearly that a child with a EHCP is a vunrable child on the governments website.
Send the link by email to the school.
My son has an EHCP and is in a sen school, they are happy to take them in but have said that if you want to keep them at home that is fine to.

canigooutyet · 12/01/2021 09:08

Good on you ip for stiring (as one pp accused you of lol) and getting advice on how to challenge them.
If their initial claims of requiring a sw were correct they wouldn’t have offered a place!!

heydoggee · 12/01/2021 09:12

2-3 days is insufficient OP. He is entitled legally to the provision set out in his EHCP.

Hit school with the law.

'We understand that the legal duties were relaxed for a portion of last year (to “best endeavours”) but that currently the duties under S.42 and S.43 of the Children and Families Act 2014 are in full force at this time, therefore ... is still currently legally entitled to receive every intervention specified in their EHCP.'

They cannot do this to you, they are breaking the law.

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