Equity splitting with ex - he’s being a dick

[LostStars39]

Hi all,

I hate it when people do this and post in aibu for traffic but I’m getting a bit desperate sorry!
I’m an absolute mess at the moment me and my ex are in the process of splitting (completely out unexpected he ended things with me) basically legally we are tenants in common, however throughout the 3.5 years we’ve had the house I’ve put in substantially more than he has. I worked the equity to be £27k and did a spreadsheet with all the extra money I’ve put in over the years and that my family has gifted us and I’d have to pay him about £2.5k. He’s obviously gone to his solicitor and got advice that everything should be split 50/50 and he said the lowest he’d take is £10k which I feel sick at doing. He’s the one who’s left me and ruined my happy life and now he’s trying to take all the money me and my family have put in while he could never save and would treat himself every month instead.

I realise I’m an absolute idea and am so angry for not protecting my money in the first place, but I genuinely thought we were happy and were going to spend the rest of our lives together (how naive I know) so please be gentle with me as I’m in absolute pieces as it is.
Do I have any rights at all?
Thanks in advance

Are you staying in the house? or is the intention to sell and split proceeds of sale?

Get evidence and get a solicitor.

Legally he has a share what is that share? anything below that is a win for you and a loss for him.

Ten k is still 17 to you. As you own the house jointly he is legally entitled to 13.5. You didn’t protect the money. So I think you need to accept this.

If you are tenants in common without a supporting Declaration of Trust the presumption will be for equity to be split 50/50. However the court may be persuaded by evidence that you have contributed more.
You need to take solicitor’s advice.

He’s currently in the house but I’m paying half the mortgage and half the insurances. We wouldn’t be selling and I’d be buying him out so I could move back in on my own which is just about affordable but not if I have to pay him £10k
I’ll be speaking to a solicitor tomorrow but they’d originally said to see if we could sort a figure out

Thanks for your replies and just realised in my OP it should say idiot not idea

Be careful with the words you use: money my family has gifted 'us'.

Be careful of using lawyers - £10k will disappear very quickly in legal fees.

Op you’ll risk going to court. And having huge legal fees.

He legally owns half the house and is entitled to half the equity. A judge will enforce simoly the contractual commitment uou made. So likely it will be the full fifty fifty

I would make a counter offer, say five or something, maybe try to land on seven or eight. If you can’t afford it or can’t come to an agreement then likely the house will need to be sold and the profits split

Hey your evidence all lined up
Screen shots , statements etc
It will take a few days
Then do a simple 1 page summary
Then , get a decent Soliciter
I can recommend one
This is a clean split as not married
But he can fuck off taking your money
But get all back up first , not even worth contacting a Soliciter

Until then ignore his messages

What was the tenants in common split? If you did 50/50 not much you can do? For example mine was 75/25 in my favour as I funded most of it/paid most of the mortgage?

Be careful of using lawyers - £10k will disappear very quickly in legal fees

Honestly, OP, this is not huge amounts of money to be fighting over. I know it will mean everything to you and is money that was hard saved and is important. But legal fees will be £10k easy if you were to end up in court.

Ask him to ask his solicitor to write to you with what they consider a fair settlement in the circumstances. Do nothing until you get that. When you get that, a free half hour with a solicitor (if you can get that) or £200 on an appointment and some advice with you putting all the info in front of the solicitor and then a letter back with what you think is fair. Don't fight for the sake of it. Find your peace in letting it go and moving on. Wikivorce.com is very helpful.

Sorry, 50/50 is fair, 10/17 is a bonus

@Thisisworsethananticpated

Hey your evidence all lined up Screen shots , statements etc It will take a few days Then do a simple 1 page summary Then , get a decent Soliciter I can recommend one This is a clean split as not married But he can fuck off taking your money But get all back up first , not even worth contacting a Soliciter

Until then ignore his messages

It doesn’t really work like that. A solicitor cannot force anything. Only a judge can.

The differential she’s arguing about here, 7.5 k, it’s likely going to be much higher in legal fees.

Her solicitor is right, she needs to come to an agreement with him. His solicitor is also right, he’s entitled to fifty fifty as legally what she agreed to.

It's worth going back to him and saying the most I can raise is £x amount for your your share or something less the £10k he says he wants and hope he accepts.

Snap his hand off OP the legal fees alone will eat into anything you get .

"everything should be split 50/50 and he said the lowest he’d take is £10k which I feel sick at doing. He’s the one who’s left me and ruined my happy life"

This is gonna be a reverse isnt it

If you didn't legally ring fence the additional money that you put in then I really don't think that you have a leg to stand on.

Even if you are able to prove every pound that you put in, he could argue that he paid a similar amount for something else that can't be proven.

If you get as far as court, you risk paying out considerably more than you stand to lose.

I think he's owed £13.5k. He says he wants £10k. Negotiate him down a bit more for a quick settlement and walk away.

If there’s no deed of trust accompanying the tenants in common then it’s 50/50.

Thank you so much everyone you’ve been so helpful. I’m going to message him later when I’ve calmed down a bit more and try and negotiate him down, if he won’t budge I’ll contact my solicitor, but it’s really good to get the advice that legal fees would swallow up the £10k.
I know I’m an idiot for not protecting myself and my money but we were so happy at the time and I just didn’t think it would ever come to this (still struggling to get my head around it) and he’s a person that hates confrontation and previously said that he completely understands that it’s fair that I get more money back as I paid a lot more in over the years. I’ll see how it goes but I just want it over

You CAN take this to a solicitor and have letters going back and forth. But you will end up paying more to them in legal fees than the amount of money in question.

Unfortunately your ex is already well down the line of racking up fees and has probably already spent somewhere around £200 - £500 getting advice probably over a couple of consults and a letter etc based on the finances he presumably had someone look at. It's frustrating but to avoid this costing silly money in legal fees you might want to go with an offer of 5 to 7k. Make sure whatever is decided is documented as full and final settlement.

Good Luck Star

@Sinful8 no this is absolutely not a reverse? £10k might not be a lot of money for you but when I’ve paid in thousands extra over the years for a new boiler, bathroom, decorating and he didn’t put a penny in I’m struggling to accept that he thinks this is fair

If he can get out straight away and you can get the mortgage transferred you will eventually look at this as the best 7.5k you have ever spent. Try and negotiate but this just makes solicitors rich.

@LostStars39 my DP has just give through this with his ex wife. She paid nothing in at all. He paid the (large) deposit with money from the sale of his old house and they were Tennant's in common.
She's walked away with 10k after abandoning him and their marriage. He negotiated her down from half