Equity splitting with ex - he’s being a dick

[LostStars39]

Hi all,

I hate it when people do this and post in aibu for traffic but I’m getting a bit desperate sorry!
I’m an absolute mess at the moment me and my ex are in the process of splitting (completely out unexpected he ended things with me) basically legally we are tenants in common, however throughout the 3.5 years we’ve had the house I’ve put in substantially more than he has. I worked the equity to be £27k and did a spreadsheet with all the extra money I’ve put in over the years and that my family has gifted us and I’d have to pay him about £2.5k. He’s obviously gone to his solicitor and got advice that everything should be split 50/50 and he said the lowest he’d take is £10k which I feel sick at doing. He’s the one who’s left me and ruined my happy life and now he’s trying to take all the money me and my family have put in while he could never save and would treat himself every month instead.

I realise I’m an absolute idea and am so angry for not protecting my money in the first place, but I genuinely thought we were happy and were going to spend the rest of our lives together (how naive I know) so please be gentle with me as I’m in absolute pieces as it is.
Do I have any rights at all?
Thanks in advance

By your own calculations if you give him 10k then you're only £7500 down. My solicitor would have called that 'go away money' - if you can find a way to pay him off then take it.

My solicitor cost nearly £300 per hour plus vat. Correspondence costs, court fees etc will very quickly add up. If this is your only sticking point I'd go for it.

You'll soon make it up when you're only paying one set of bills

Incidentally, has your mortgage lender agreed to let you take the mortgage on by yourself?

With £27k at stake the obvious thing would be to speak to a family solicitor.

My friend's ex did this too. She was so upset and ended up paying him money to get him sign over the little interest he had in her house. 350k house, she paid the whole 40% deposit in cash, he paid 50% of the mortgage each month and quite often missed his payment so she had to cover it. Then when he cheated on her and moved into his new bird's place, he refused to sign away his rights until she gave him xxx amount. I don't know how much exactly but it is was way more than he paid in (new build) and she basically had to pay money to get rid of him from her life. They only stayed there together for 18 months. Then when it was all settled, he deliberatley delayed for weeks in signing the deeds.

He made quite a profit out of her. She was so upset. But at least she did get rid of him.

Now you've explained how you've calculated your extra contribution, I really don't agree that he deserves significantly less than 50%.

You will be benefitting from things like the boiler and new bathroom as you'll be living there.

I suppose the way to look at it is, if you hadn't paid for the bathroom etc then, you'd be paying for it now (alone) as it was clearly of important to you back then despite his lack of contributions.

So, I'd deduct both of your deposits and split the rest, whilst taking back your individual deposit contributions. If you can knock a grand or so off his share, then bonus and it goes some way to 'renting' the lovely home you've financed. But honestly, as much as it will pain you, I'd pass over the 10,000, or as far below it as you can negotiate because legal fees and court will be one big pot of stress and money

Id also not hang about. Don’t let him stay in a house you’ve mostly paid into, when he’s the one wanting the split.

He has paid £25k over 3.5 years, assuming £550 x 42 months + £1900.

You have paid £9k + £23100 = £32.1k

Appreciate the payments are a mixture of mortgage, bills and refurbishment costs.

If equity is £27k then he is asking for just under 40%. Take deposits off the equity, leaves £16k, split 50/50, so 8k each..then add deposits back. He gets 10k (which is what he is asking) and you have 8k plus 9k that you put in.

What was your proposal?